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Home > Articles > Relationships Articles > Why Sex Before Marriage?
disfabioguise
Written By disfabioguise Note This

Why Sex Before Marriage?

 
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Posted 7 months ago Views 364 Comments 9 Category Relationships
Our society is starving for intimacy and many of the lies we believe in our culture have to do with our hunger for relationship. We want acceptance, loving relationships and deep intimacy, and yet we believe the lie that sex will satisfy our hunger. It’s true that we are profoundly sexual beings, but it’s time to examine some of the lies we feast on: the lie that premarital sex is one of our unalienable rights, the lie that sexual intercourse is the route to intimacy, and the lie that premarital abstinence is obsolete at best and repressive at worst. These are all lies.

History teaches us that people believe what they want to hear. Lies can sound so true when people are starving for truth. Even whole societies will feast on their promises. The Inquisition was based on the lie that some people could force other people to change their religious beliefs. More recently, hundreds of thousands of people believed Hitler’s lie that the Jewish race should be eradicated. Most of us can hardly imagine that anyone could have believed these lies. And yet we swallow other lies all the time.

We have bought into lies because we are a starving people. We are people who long to be loved, touched and understood in a world of declining family ties and epidemic dysfunction. Our desires are certainly not new; they are as old as humanity. The difference in our world today is that people are trying to fulfill these longings in strange ways: through machines (TV’s, CD players, cell phones and computers), through sports, material possessions, institutions and sex. Especially through sex. “Try it just once and you’ll be fulfilled.” “Go for variety and you won’t be bored.” “A life without sex is a life without belonging.” Sexual experience has become a personal right, a need to be met and a norm to be accepted.

The tragedy of all this is that people are dying of emotional starvation, and they are looking for food in the wrong places. I would like to identify seven lies that our society is making about sex. The truth is that sex outside of marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be. There is no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.

Lie #1: Sex creates intimacy. Genital sex is an expression of intimacy, not the means to intimacy. True intimacy springs from verbal and emotional communion. True intimacy is built on a commitment to honesty, love and freedom. True intimacy is not primarily a sexual encounter. Intimacy, in fact, has almost nothing to do with our sex organs. A prostitute may expose her body, but her relationships are hardly intimate.

Premarital sexual intercourse may actually hinder intimacy. Indulging in sexual intercourse prematurely short-circuits the emotional bonding process. One late-1980s study of 100,000 women that links early sexual experience with dissatisfaction in their present marriages, unhappiness with the level of sexual intimacy and a prevalence of low self-esteem.

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hotttopic You know what I had sex lots of times but for the past 2 years and until I get married I will not have sex its just not worth it - 6 months ago
GoodManDave This is amazing, I actually found an article on another website about the same topic in fact, it was word for word. How ironic that two different people can write the same exact article!

It's a good piece, but if you didn't write the original article, (you are claiming to be a male, and the article is credited to a woman), and if you did not get permission from the original writer (and as you didn't follow the copyright rules mentioned on that site); you're plagiarizing, and that's not fair. - 5 months ago
GoodManDave This is amazing, I actually found an article on another website about the same topic in fact, it was word for word. How ironic that two different people can write the same exact article!

It's a good piece, but if you didn't write the original article, (you are claiming to be a male, and the article is credited to a woman), and if you did not get permission from the original writer (and as you didn't follow the copyright rules mentioned on that site); you're plagiarizing, and that's not fair. - 5 months ago
Nutz76 What a load of crap. Intimacy, bonding, and trust are all largely dependent on male and female brain chemistry, which you apparently have no familiarization of. For example, Lie #1 isn't a lie at all. When you have sex a bunch of bonding chemicals get released into the brain. This is why women have that urge to cuddle afterwards. The net result is that the fastest way to gain intimacy with someone is to have sex with them. A close connection can form quickly after with that level of intimacy. - 5 months ago
kazine "the lie that premarital sex is one of our unalienable rights"

And how is it not a right? - 5 months ago
A-R-Norman I dunno--I was a sexual woman and I am very happy now--because I learned what I didn't want in relationships both sexually and emotionally... - 4 months ago
That-Guy Having sex is no different then watching a movie together. It's a practice that both partners enjoy given the variety of different things one can do sexually.

What is intiment for one person is going to be different for another. For example: I maybe find playing tennis with a girl very intiment and enjoyable while others enjoy Anal. I used such a blunt example because our society is infactuated with this prudish chasity over sex. HAVE SEX, it's great, talk about it, do it. - 4 months ago
lefthand That sad thing is that I think actually believe this to be accurate rather than a reflection of religious views. You really haven't supported your argument.

In my opinion, the prohibtion and demonization of sex is what has cause the majority of the problem. 97% of people have sex before they get married and pretty all of them are made to feel bad because they are simply responding to the normal inclinations of their own bodies.
I won't sleep with virgins anymore and wouldn't marry one. - 4 months ago
Amor3x0 I won't have sex until I'm married. Girls have lost their independence and dignity. We are in the time of the Babylon; those who drunk off of sex, lust and money. Not to mention so many young girls are having babies who haven't had a chance to grow up and learn about life; hence, they raise stupid kids because of their mothers and fathers. If the mother doesn't have morals she cannot properly form her child's superego. That is why stupid people are breeding stupid kids who fall for the lies. - 26 days ago
 
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