I talk to my guy friend once in awhile. We dated way back but remained friends. I had a few text message run ins with his girlfriend. She once texted me like she was him. I knew it wasn't him. I answered her honestly telling we are just friends. That was that.. I didn't want her to get mad. Well last week he called and asked for directions to the hospital because his child was sick. I told him to call me and let me know if the baby was ok. 2 days later I called him but she answered. 4 sum reason I felt bad like she was going to yell at me. She asked what I wanted, I asked her how the baby was, there was a silence.. then she replied he is fine. She told me not call anymore and I told her I wouldn't. I still feel bad. Did I handle it ok...
you're fine. he's still friends with you. the girl probably hates you though. I went through a similar thing with my best friend's boyfriend. me and her (we'll call her samie) hang out a lot and we're really close. but the jerk (we'll call him sean) thought I was flirting with her and wanted to ask her out. soooooooo he beat the sh*t out of me... not fun. anyway I still hang out with samie all the time and sean still get's p*ssed. you and the guy are fine.
Yes, you handled it well. Females are intensely competitive and can be possessive. Once I had a current wife and ex-wife standing on both sides of my door arguing about what I said while I was standing there! When I shouted "I'm right here, they both gave me dirty looks!
I'm assuming you called his cell phone..in which case she has no right to answer it and give you even a remotely hard time. You handled it fine. I would let him know what just happened and see what he says. Other than that you just have to go with out talking to him...at least for a while.
It sucks that she is like that. And no amount of proper talk from her husband or boyfriend is going to change her view on jealously. It seems like you genuinely care for this guy as a friend, and she is too blind and defensive to see that. It's best to let him go, and say "hello, how are you" when you can. Otherwise a simply text or phone call brings unnecessary consequences.
I think you handled it ok, as the real problem lies with her boyfriend/your friend. To my way of thinking, he really shouldn't have women involved in his day-to-day personal life, as this only creates friction with his signficant other. I wouldn't enjoy it (nor would I put up with it) if my significant other had guy friends calling her on a regular basis. It breeds distrust. She deserves to be at ease in her relationship, as we all do. Just my opinion.
Yeah you did exactly the same thing I would have done. Don't worry. I'd suggest you steer clear. Your mate will be in touch if and when he can. It may be she is an oppressive partner, but your position as an ex makes her unreasonable behaviour (and, it is!), sound almost plausible. You have to wait for his other friends to help him out. I would suggest you mention this to mutual friends if you can, but keep your own nose well out of it. :)
You did not do anything wrong and you handled it just fine, it's not you who has a problem here clearly because you're just trying to be friends, -but- there is one thing you got to understand, which is why she is potentially upset. You need to at least understand even if you don't necessarily respect it.
She is upset because she does not know you like he does and when you call him, she gets suspicious. Feeling suspicious is never a nice thing, no matter how much you trust someone and I think she is feeling this from you being in contact with her partner. She most likely knows there is history between you and him which doesn't make it any easier for her. I think he hasn't completely satisfied/convinced/reassured her enough for her to believe you are just friends, which is partially his fault, but even if he did, it is still her own fault for reacting so badly along with it.
(This is just my opinion) But if I was in this situation I don't think it would be a good idea for me to continue talking to this guy as it will be difficult for us to talk anyway -and- it is ruining their relationship, like any good friend, I wouldn't want this to happen to my friend. If I knew this girl could be convinced though and reassured, I would do my best to reassure her (Which you have already tried, by telling her you're just friends) This didn't work so I would definately choose the first option and back away. It is your decision in the end and that was just my personal opinion.
Once you understand this, you need to make the decision if you think it is worth still trying to talk to your ex-boyfriend without being too bothered by what's going on, but it seems to bother you otherwise you would not be posting here asking about this situation. So you need to think is this really worth it anymore? Because I'm pretty sure if he really loves her he will inevitably do what she wants most over your friendship in the end, if this goes too far keeping this option you might end up getting hurt, which is why I think the most logical thing is to back away while you still can. You did nothing wrong, it's just your actions could potentially flare the situation.
I was going to agree with the majourity of posts here but then I re-read what you wrote and saw you are his ex-OR you used to date. Even though you had decent intentions and didn't mean anything by it,i am guessing she knows you are an ex/used to date,and that is going to make her act bit off-key and be on gaurd regardless. As much as I hate admitting it I would be very on edge if my mans ex called and text him alot..its just natural to feel threatened or uncomfortable about it,by the same token I would not have my exes calling and texting me ou of respect for him. In that sense put yourself in her shoes and you can see why he might not like it-rightly or wrongly. I don't think you handled it badly,what else could you of done? I do think hat you should back off now though,and let them sort it out-he might well sort it out with her and be in touch if your friendship was that strong...or he might not because relationships do have a way of taking priority over friendships...i can see both your views.
I don't see where you diud anything wrong. It sucks royaly when you have a guy friend and they get a girlfriend and it seems like there goes a friend out the window. I'm sorry to say that if he don't talk to oyu or make a effort in any way to talk to you then it is best if you move on. I hate saying that. But its only the reality of it.
the only reason she does that is because she probably doesn't have confidence in her self enough to beleive her man isn't a cheater , so she freaks out , but let her know nicley the truth like that you guys went way back and are good friends but just that
i don't think you did anything wrong. the issue is with him and his girlfriend. you were open and honest with her, telling her the reason for your call. why can't he have a friend whos concerned about his baby just because she's female?
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