My boyfriend. I wish I didn't get so nervous around him b/c then I would kiss him but my stupid nerves get in the way and the only reason I want to kiss him is because he won't I mean I don't think he knows that I want to but I do but I don't want to tell him
Girl mate: How she likes the guys that want me at parties. She knows I put my mates first which is why if I don't want them then she know I won't mind if she has them. Even for one night. Yep got to change that habit of hers. But I still love her even when she takes my scraps lol
My girl friend. I'm guessing we're not equal in her eyes, because some things are perfectly fine when she does them & totally unacceptable when I do! Not cool.
Selfishness. All of my girl friends have it, even my best friend.
I'd give the shirt off my back for my friends, do just about anything if I was able too, but sometimes when I need a small favor it just seems too much to ask. Or they call me crying with guy problems or whatever, and when I need a shoulder to cry on I have no one who I can really vent to.
Ouch. Have you confronted them on it? It's not easy to want to speak to someone and not have anyone there who'll listen. - 6 months ago
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No, I haven't . I guess I really don't know how to. I guess I am just trying to see if they'll figure out on their own I'm always there when they need me, and what happens when I need them. I'm in a new city and don't have many friends at all. I can pretty easily distance myself, but it's just hard to stick to it when I don't have anyone else besides my man. - 6 months ago
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Friends fill a hole that no boyfriend or girlfriend ever could. Sure, they may be a good friend too, but they can't fill some holes at all in your life. I hope that you can work it out. Sometimes though some people can be so insensitive to how they're hurting others, even if you tell them or drop hints they don't realize it. I hope that your friends will fill the hole in your life that friends should, and that you can continue to be the same to them. - 6 months ago
I wouldn't want to change anything about any of my friends, because even if I don't like a particular aspect of who they are, it still is a part of what defines them. If I changed anything, they wouldn't be the person I've become friends with. Part of a friendship is accepting the bad things as well as good the things you like about a person.
Nice answer. Isn't there anything that rubs you up the wrong way? At all? Cute avatar, by the way. Is that puppy yours? Surely there's something puppies do that you don't like at all and makes you wonder why you got it (he/she? ) in the first place? - 6 months ago
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Oh there are certainly things about my friends that rub me the wrong way. But unless they fixed those things of their own volition, I would never want to "magically" fix them. No one is perfect, and your flaws are an important part of who you are.
I love dogs, that one isn't mine, but I'm hoping to get a puppy after I graduate in may. And I can tell you I hate cleaning up after animals, but I love dogs enough that its a sacrifice that is more than easy to make. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
If you saw a friend going into something that would seriously hurt them, like drugs or cutting or something else like that, would you want them to change that then? Surely. If that same sort of self-destructive behaviour is in their personality, would you want to change that? Surely then too? Sure, flaws make up an important part of any person, but it isn't them entirely, is it?
Yeah, cleaning up after a puppy isn't my favorite. Got a German Shepherd myself, and she was a handful at first. - 6 months ago
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In the case where someone is being self destructive, you can only really help someone who wants help. If you want to give help in any other case, its much more of an intervention than just offering help. But in general, if you have a friend with a problem, unless they can see why hurting themselves is bad, they won't help themselves.
There gets to be a point where their self destruction starts to hurt you too, and that's when you have to really decide if the friendship is worthwhile. - 6 months ago
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Good answer and well deserving of the best answer. It is up to them to want to change when they need to do so. You can't do it for them, and you can't force them to do so either. Thanks! - 6 months ago
I would change my best friend's personality of always being late and nonchalant. She is ALWAYS late and never calls to tell me that. She has to be the most unreliable person I know. Funny, because she is going to be the maid of honor at my wedding, but she is definitely not planning my bachelorette party. That's really the only friend I would want to change.
You're getting married? Congratulations! Okay, I'd have to say that you would hate to live in Africa. There's a big joke here about 'African time'. In Africa, time means very little to some people. If you meet someone on the street and you ignore them because you're in a hurry, it is very rude. It doesn't matter if you're needing to be somewhere in 5 minutes. People get wherever they need to be when they do. GRR! Personally I hate it when people are late, so I agree with you. - 6 months ago
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Thank you. Yep, getting married next year! I have to say people who say they are going to be somewhere at a certain time and then show up 30 min later. Is a huge pet peeve of mine. I will have to tell my friend, the maid of honor, that my wedding is like hours before the actual time, so she will be there! :-) - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Lol. That's exactly what we have to do with some people here. South Africa is likely the most westernized country in Africa, but it is still an issue. It really gets to me too. - 6 months ago
Best male friend: I'd like him to be a bit more lighthearted, just a tad less introverted, so he can connect with people easier and let them into his life.
Best female friend: I'd like her to be less neurotic and aggressive towards people she doesn't know, and learn to trust people a bit more, give them the benefit of a doubt once in a while.
For your best male friend, I can definitely admire that. Having been there and, to tell you the truth, still being there, I respect you for that. Do you have a plan on how you'd like to see that done? Going to comedy movies and laughing about them can help, maybe?
Has your best female friend had something happen in her past that made her like that? For me, that is definitely the case. I don't trust easily because of my past. I suppose she needs to meet many people to get comfortable around 'em - 6 months ago
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MF: I hope it will get easier for him when he moves to a university town, where he can meet more people who are like him. He needs someone intellectual and sensitive but fun.
FF: She has had some bad experiences, but nothing worse than the next person. I guess she's just very sensitive and insecure, and explosive at the same time. She needs a lot of reassurance and attention to feel wanted and "seen" by people, and most aren't like that with everyone they meet. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
MF: Good way to meet people. By 'someone intellectual and sensitive but fun' do you mean a girlfriend? That'd likely work wonders. It would also help to care and bring out the best in him.
FF: That's an interesting combination in a person. It's not bad, but it can lead to making things worse. Being like that can make people think that nobody is going to care about them. Unfortunately, as you said, most people won't give them the attention that's needed. It's not a good thing at all. - 6 months ago
My best friend (girl) all I would want to change with her is her GUCCI dreams and her WAL-MART budget! She constantly wants to take trips and buy things that she knows she can't afford, and always asks me if I want to go with her on the trips. Of course I would have to pay and being the walmart budgeter I am, I know damn well I'm not going!
Aren't there reasonable rip-offs? Or is that a dirty word? The sort that'd get me hunted down and burned at the stake for heresy? What does she say when you say to cool it, or have you yet to say anything? It's hard to try to get someone else to see reason when they're determined to live in their own world. - 6 months ago
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I tell her every time she comes up with a new outing whether or not I can afford it, and if it is something that lavish that she wants to buy or a trip to go on, I ask how she can afford it and she tells me credit cards! I mean is fine if she wants to be in debt, but keep me out of it! Lol - 6 months ago
Question Asker
Debt. Not cool. Not a bit. It's a new form of slavery. You go from one type of debt to another and you never reap any rewards apart from more debt. What Fun! Yay! Lol. Doesnt she see the nasty tax man following her with a growing bill in his hands? He's a stalker that the police won't chase away. She'll be stuck with him and her banker for the rest of her life trying to sell everything just to survive. Hmm, I'm over-reacting. A bit. But does she not see how serious debt really is? Blind, anyone? - 6 months ago
I have a female friend who is selfish and expects us "the girls" to cater to her every need like we are her boyfriends. That makes me not want to hang out with her that much.
What sort of needs are those? Some things guys don't really cater well to. Often it's the girl friends that will do the whole talk about what happened on the last date rather than the boyfriend that was there. Girl friends are there for a reason, so is she doing something that is not for girl friends or is it actually for you as one of them? Is it something that you need to confront her on? - 6 months ago
