So I find out that the guy I was dating used to be a stripper, and not from him. So I call him up and leave a message about needing a male stripper for my girlfriend's bachelorette party, which was not true, but I thought funny, asked him to call me back if he knew of any. He calls back and says, so who told you, I of course did not disclose my source, we laughed, I picked on him a little more, said jokingly, wish I would have known I never would have went out with you, no response, then I said just joking, we talked a little more, then he had to go, So I guess my? Is, why would he not tell me, I don't care, I feel I don't judge, and is it possible he was embarrassed so much that he would blow me off because of it? Is it possible to embarrass a guy (who has a huge ego) to the point that they just no longer want anything to do with you? Even though I said it didn't matter?
Update: So did I ruin the trust he had for me? And how do I let him no or show him he can still trust me? How long do I give him to lick his wounds?
9 months ago
Even though for you it didn't matter, but for a guy there is always someone he keeps away from everything; whom he trusts to go back to when he thinks he is in a mess. Guess you openly confronting him, made him feel insecure on that front. hard to tell whether he got embarrassed by that or it is just his ego that's shattered; but he really needs time to weld those emotions back in.
For that updated part - time you had a friendly chat with him; start with something else an activity or something and ring him in. Can't say on his behalf but he really needs someone to vent out his frustration. Better he tries on you. Would help the guy. - 9 months ago
I'd say that his fear was that you wouldn't go out with him if he did tell you. He was embarrassed about it. I'd say it IS possible to embarrass a guy to that point. I wouldn't want to go out with someone who won't leave the past blushing moments of mine alone. If it is just teasing, I can take a joke (I'd say that he did take it as a joke, but initially he was scared when you said that you regretted going out with him) along with the best of them, and even hold my own, but there is too much. Acting coy can be sexy, but going out of your way to air dirty laundry might not make you the best of friends.
As to the update: Just be friendly to him. If he does act as if he's offended, ask him if he's okay, and if he says that that's wrong, apologize. If you stay friendly, he'll be more likely to remain friends too. Also, if you give him time to 'lick his wounds' without dealing with the issue, it'll only fester rather than work out. You do Not want that. Rather get it over with than ignore the big elephant between you. - 9 months ago
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