Is It Selfish Or A Bad Idea For Me To Ask My Dad For This?

You could, doesn't hurt to ask, but its pretty expensive. Should wait for the holidays for something that big to ask for. You can ask though but I feel there's a higher chance getting it around december.

I was reading what you wrote. I do not feel you are being very materialistic. Actually, I feel it is kinda cute. Did you ever think that if he got you the phone, he might take it as your way of saying that you want to have some sort of communication with him. Kinda like Batman having the RED phone to the Mayor of Gotham City. Go ahead and do it. In his own way, he loves you.

never gotten you a birthday gift?
in my opinion you should ask him.
he ask for your number. he should provide it for you.

Your question is about relationships, so you put it in the right category.

So let me (a dad) explain how relationships between daughters and dads work.

My daughter is 13. I have been there for her as much as possible, aside from 2 years working out of the country, I have seen her at least once a month. Her mother made things difficult for me, but I wanted to be a part of her life, so I put up with the BS. I realize this part of my story is different than yours, but keep reading, you will find something in here that is useful.

Here is what I suspect. Your dad loves you more than you will know, until the day you have your own first child. THAT day you will realize "the love" that a parent has for a child and there is no way anyone can describe, explain, draw a picture, or put in words about how it feels. It is like NOTHING else in the world. That is the moment that you realize you would give up your life for someone without the blink of an eye.

So, aside from what it seems, I believe your dad loves you. He might be looking for a way to show it. if he can afford the iPhone, he is going to want ti get it for you more than you want it.

BUT, the best way to approach the situation is not to ask for anything. Start with forgiving him for not knowing how to figure out how to spend time with you. Give him a chance to mend that broken fence, and he is going to want to know what you want. That is the time to suggest a "cool" way to keep in touch.

After you get your iPhone, be sure to send him lots of pictures and make those phone calls. I bet you will be surprise how excited he is to be a part of your life. And the new S series has video option, so he can enjoy even more now that he could have in the past.

Good Luck,
James

I would say now is not a good time if he's not very involved in your life. You're gonna hate me for saying this, but it has to be said. T truth is if he really wanted to be involved in your life I think he would be, and so really your nothing but a financial burden on him. The last thing he needs is you calling him up just to leech off of him some more.

I think you should get to know him a bit more before you started asking for stuff. Perhaps if he asked if you wanted something, but I wouldn't bring it up. You will certainly be giving him a shallow "first impression" of yourself.

i wouldn't lol too soon

mmm id say dont. if he hasn't bothered to see you in so long, then you should avoid him at this stage. I think you're opening up a big can of worms because he'll want to see you and be able to call you yada yada on the iphone if he gets it...So no don't do it, its not worth it. He will make you feel guilty and put pressure on you to see him precisely because he got you the iphone. money and gifts can be used as ways to control you so beware. sorry I'm slightly bitter here!

if you do see him, take it extremely slowly and make sure he earns back your trust over time gradually. you need time to get to know each other

Honestly, and I'm speaking as someone who came from a similar situation, take the relationship one step at a time. Before you go asking him for something materialistic, build something real. That's not the way you want to re-introduce yourself to this person who regardless of the past is your father. If he follows through and pays child support and is now asking for your phone number regardless of how long it has been, that's a big sign. He wouldn't do that if he didn't want to connect, and it's never too late to do so. Even if you feel you are too old for that, it's not true. You need him now more than ever. Don't reject him when he's extending that hand, even if it feels late. You never know how long he's going to be alive (my dad passed away last year, but I have no regrets as I took the time to get to know him, even if it wasn't the ideal situation). Don't ask for an iPhone, it will suggest that you don't care about seeing him for a real reason and want all these things from him that aren't at all what you should be seeking. I'm sure it was a big step for him to decide to come into your life, even if it seems like the obvious decision, and as hard as it is, you should give him a second chance. Don't stay angry or have all these expectations. Talk to him, meet with him, take it slow. Hopefully you two will have more time than I did. Either way, giving my dad that chance was the best decision I ever made, and there's nothing more powerful and healing than forgiveness. We all make mistakes, we all deserve to be loved and cared for, and that goes both ways. iPhones are so last year. Your dad is forever.

well, if he can afford it he'll probably bring it gladly because he has the guilt, but be thankful he's your father no matter what..

technically it's a realtionship with ur father. umm... you can ask it's bold of you too, but I don't think it woujld hurt, if you think he has the money to buy it. why not.

I wouldn't call it selfish but I would consider it a bad idea. It is a real shame your dad chose to not have a relationship with you. Nasty divorce or not, he is your dad, he is an adult and he should have continued to be in your life.

So, if you ask your dad, that you have no real relationship with, for a specific, expensive gift, you may lose any chance of having a relationship with him in the future. Do not ask him for the Iphone. If he knows its your birthday and he wants to get you something, he will do it. Work on the relationship instead, not on getting the phone.

yes go for it..

Defo not. If my dad hadn't been in my life I would want nothing from him. No matter how much I wanted something,i wouldn't ask him. I'd get it myself or not at all. You're feeling sorry for yourself by saying he's never bought you anything so that justifies you asking him for this. It doesn't justify it. He will most likely buy you one out of guilt so I think you'll ask him despite what people answer here.

Yeah I would definitely ask him. I asked my dad (who I hadn't seen it 6 years) for an iPod touch and he started bullsh*tting me with, if I could solve a series of riddles, he'd give it to me for Christmas. (it was a few days til, I was staying with him for winter break.) he never went through with it even though I solved all his ridiculous riddles. But he's a cheap ass (even though he's a doctor and makes really good pay), and he SAID he was willing to do it so maybe your dad will too. He never gave me the itouch but for my following birthday in March this year my family (the maternal side) got me one so if he doesn't, you can bet maybe someone else will. =) You DEFINITELY deserve it, that's all I can say.

ASK HIM! You are his daughter. If that "man" couldn't step up and be in your life the least he could do is buy a damn iphone. You have needs and wants too. It sounds like he has been a sorry bastard most of your life so why is it so much to ask for a phone? You don't sound shallow and materialistic, you sound like a 16 year old. You could ask your mother but I'm sure she has probably done a lot for you over the years, if your dad gets offended that you dare ask him for a gift he should go to hell.

I would. I'm in a similar situation and if my dad wasn't poor and cheap, I would ask.