It's your first date. You have decided to catch a movie and some dinner afterwards (casual restaurant, nothing too pricey. But not exactly fast-food). The bill shows up. Now who pays?
I think that it's good to keep healthy boundaries in a relationship - including paying for one's own meals because that way no one is put under obligation to pay, and there are no strings attached by someone paying. Everyone retains their freedom this way!
Well, first date I'm not too sure about but my girlfriend and I split all our bills. Not 50-50 but whoever can pay. usually or bill is in the region of R200 and ill try and pay about 150 and she 50. But if I don't have that money now she pays more and I make up next time. Its a 2 way thing. With times changing things get expensive and you can't always demand the guy pay for everything. We not all millionaires, and somewhere the money is going to finish
I think whoever asked should pay, that seems to be the general consensus. This however basically states that the guy will be paying as in today's culture it is seen as taboo for a girl to ask a guy out on a date or to "hang out" as seems to be the trend of people today. I've never in my life been asked out on a first date by a girl and I can count on one hand the number of times it has happened to a friend or even a friend of a friend of any age group.
well that's because you guys automatically react in a crazy way when we ask just to hang out. just yesterday I'm talking to this guy and i said "let's go to the movies" and apparently he didn't like that question since he's been avoiding me. honest to god that i had ask 2 other friends(girls) and they were busy and i just wanted someone to watch a movie with. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Eh, I guess it depends on the guy, but it also depends on the girl. I was bored and called a girl to hang out and she felt uncomfortable with it since she didn't want to "lead me on." I guess it all depends on whether or not you know where you stand with the person and how mature you are. - 6 months ago
Since the guy should be trying to earn the privilege of the lady's company, he should pay. It is an investment that should, if backed with integrity, result in winning, not demanding, her heart. Since the lady is trying to earn the privilege of the guy's company, she should be willing to let him win her heart, without being blind, or losing her integrity. If either acts like the other's company is anything but a privilege and blessing, the date should not last to the movies and the meal should be split, so no leverage is left.
I voted that the guy should pay for everything, but in my opinion, if the female wants to put in somehow, which feel she should at least try, I say that's all to the good. I think from her point of view its selfish to let someone do all that on the first date. Especially when there is a chance that there will not be a second date.
Its an outdated chivalry that should have died. Personally most of the girls I've dated expect the guy to pay on every date because that's the way the girls parents raised them. And I'm sick of using the money I worked hard for and wind up with nothing to show for it.
You say you end up with nothing to show for your spending. What do you expect to get for your "investment"? Because if it's sex, then you're treating your date like a date, you're treating her like a prostitute. - 6 months ago
Answerer
Dinner $55, movies $40, her leaving with her ex-boyfriend when she said she wanted she wanted to drive. Priceless - 6 months ago
The guy is always the one paying even if he doesn't have a job, ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, is wearing passed down clothes. Was dropped off at the movie theater by his parents, has a coupon for the movie and brought his own snacks to eat during the movie.
To Anaskathia, girlfriends 1 - 7. I had a job and my own vehicle by girlfriend 8. Although I'm still a cheap guy so I shop at GoodWill, still sneak in food into the movie theater and I only go to the movies when I have a coupon which is usually once a month. - 6 months ago
It sucks but That's what guys do I have done and have been doing it but it doesn't make a difference If you don't hit it off you just wasted your money. That's what sucks!
I voted for the Guy Paying and in most Cases I feel that is the Right way to go here. I do have one thing for everyone to think about-
I feel that whoever is the one, guy or girl, that did the asking for the date, is the one that should pay for the date. I agree that 9 times out of 10, it is most likely the guy that is asking the girl out, but if she ask, then she should be willing to pay or at least go dutch on the date.
Honestly I think on the first date you should pay your own sh! T. I mean I'm not going to pay for you to get a free meal and not get a phone call back or another date. Usually when I go out I wait to see what the girls going to say when it comes to the bill. If she say separate than she cool, But if she say together the that a warning sign to me she may be a gold digger. I not say all women or like that. But I've f@cked over to much in the pass and have learn from my mistakes.
An aside though, if the girl asks to pay, the guy should allow her, though it goes against standard norms, it is better to let her pay than be so stubborn than to do it yourself.
No guy should ever let the girl think that she HAS to pay, but if she WANTS to pay, then he lets her.
Poll added by question asker. Cast your vote to see the current results.
(Age:30 to 35)
When: 5 months ago
