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trickstir85

Who should pay on the first date?

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trickstir85 (Age:18 to 24)     When: More than a year ago
Views: 859     Category: Behavior

It's your first date. You have decided to catch a movie and some dinner afterwards (casual restaurant, nothing too pricey. But not exactly fast-food). The bill shows up. Now who pays?


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  Poll added by question asker. Cast your vote to see the current results.   What is this?

Guy pays for himself, girl pays for herself.

They split the bill at the restaurant. They pay for themselves at the movie.

Guy pays for the movie and the meal.

Girl pays for the movie and the meal.

Everything is split right down the middle. Movie and meal included.

Answers

    From Guys  
16
From Girls  
12
 

What Guys Said

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
He could make her a nice candle-lit, home-cooked meal and rent a video - save yourself some money and be extremely romantic at the same time!
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
I think that it's good to keep healthy boundaries in a relationship - including paying for one's own meals because that way no one is put under obligation to pay, and there are no strings attached by someone paying. Everyone retains their freedom this way!
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Doyle
466  
Doyle      When: More than a year ago
Well, first date I'm not too sure about but my girlfriend and I split all our bills. Not 50-50 but whoever can pay. usually or bill is in the region of R200 and ill try and pay about 150 and she 50. But if I don't have that money now she pays more and I make up next time. Its a 2 way thing. With times changing things get expensive and you can't always demand the guy pay for everything. We not all millionaires, and somewhere the money is going to finish
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Thanatos
655  
Thanatos      When: More than a year ago
I think whoever asked should pay, that seems to be the general consensus. This however basically states that the guy will be paying as in today's culture it is seen as taboo for a girl to ask a guy out on a date or to "hang out" as seems to be the trend of people today. I've never in my life been asked out on a first date by a girl and I can count on one hand the number of times it has happened to a friend or even a friend of a friend of any age group.
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RoCkStAR1985 well that's because you guys automatically react in a crazy way when we ask just to hang out. just yesterday I'm talking to this guy and i said "let's go to the movies" and apparently he didn't like that question since he's been avoiding me. honest to god that i had ask 2 other friends(girls) and they were busy and i just wanted someone to watch a movie with. - More than a year ago
Answerer Eh, I guess it depends on the guy, but it also depends on the girl. I was bored and called a girl to hang out and she felt uncomfortable with it since she didn't want to "lead me on." I guess it all depends on whether or not you know where you stand with the person and how mature you are. - More than a year ago

drstms
1873  
drstms      When: More than a year ago
Since the guy should be trying to earn the privilege of the lady's company, he should pay. It is an investment that should, if backed with integrity, result in winning, not demanding, her heart. Since the lady is trying to earn the privilege of the guy's company, she should be willing to let him win her heart, without being blind, or losing her integrity. If either acts like the other's company is anything but a privilege and blessing, the date should not last to the movies and the meal should be split, so no leverage is left.
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
LOL. Depends on who asked who out IMHO.

If I asked a girl out. And plan the date/ I am going to pay.

Otherwise dutch LOL.
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Hunterboyz
2771  
Hunterboyz      When: More than a year ago
I voted that the guy should pay for everything, but in my opinion, if the female wants to put in somehow, which feel she should at least try, I say that's all to the good.
I think from her point of view its selfish to let someone do all that on the first date. Especially when there is a chance that there will not be a second date.


Sincerely,
A Loving Black Man
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
Its an outdated chivalry that should have died. Personally most of the girls I've dated expect the guy to pay on every date because that's the way the girls parents raised them. And I'm sick of using the money I worked hard for and wind up with nothing to show for it.
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Lovelyld Lol. Perhaps you need to pay for services that are more appropriate for what your looking for. - More than a year ago
Anaskathia You say you end up with nothing to show for your spending. What do you expect to get for your "investment"? Because if it's sex, then you're treating your date like a date, you're treating her like a prostitute. - More than a year ago
Answerer Dinner $55, movies $40, her leaving with her ex-boyfriend when she said she wanted she wanted to drive. Priceless - More than a year ago

lonlehube
459  
lonlehube      When: More than a year ago
Who ever is the person doing the asking. Should be the one that pays
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Bluehead Stupid no no no. - More than a year ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
The guy is always the one paying even if he doesn't have a job, ordered the cheapest thing on the menu, is wearing passed down clothes. Was dropped off at the movie theater by his parents, has a coupon for the movie and brought his own snacks to eat during the movie.
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Anaskathia Who's going out with THAT guy? Lol - More than a year ago
RoCkStAR1985 HAHAHA SOMEONE KNOWS ABOUT IT! - More than a year ago
Answerer To Anaskathia, girlfriends 1 - 7. I had a job and my own vehicle by girlfriend 8. Although I'm still a cheap guy so I shop at GoodWill, still sneak in food into the movie theater and I only go to the movies when I have a coupon which is usually once a month. - More than a year ago
SexGod1 That's too funny! lol! :) - More than a year ago

 
Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
It sucks but That's what guys do I have done and have been doing it but it doesn't make a difference If you don't hit it off you just wasted your money. That's what sucks!
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roten27
1886  
roten27      When: More than a year ago
I voted for the Guy Paying and in most Cases I feel that is the Right way to go here. I do have one thing for everyone to think about-

I feel that whoever is the one, guy or girl, that did the asking for the date, is the one that should pay for the date. I agree that 9 times out of 10, it is most likely the guy that is asking the girl out, but if she ask, then she should be willing to pay or at least go dutch on the date.
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smitty5806
369  
smitty5806      When: More than a year ago
Honestly I think on the first date you should pay your own sh! T. I mean I'm not going to pay for you to get a free meal and not get a phone call back or another date. Usually when I go out I wait to see what the girls going to say when it comes to the bill. If she say separate than she cool, But if she say together the that a warning sign to me she may be a gold digger. I not say all women or like that. But I've f@cked over to much in the pass and have learn from my mistakes.
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BringerofDawn
1293  
BringerofDawn      When: More than a year ago
Chivalry is in, Guy pays for both.

An aside though, if the girl asks to pay, the guy should allow her, though it goes against standard norms, it is better to let her pay than be so stubborn than to do it yourself.

No guy should ever let the girl think that she HAS to pay, but if she WANTS to pay, then he lets her.
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untitled393
227  
untitled393      When: More than a year ago
Honestly I believe that on the first date the guy should pay. but it really does depend.
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tegdim
784  
tegdim      When: More than a year ago
Good guy will pay for everything, but if you're dating a good girl she usually want to pay their own. Depends on the people.
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What Girls Said

tequill255
271  
tequill255      When: More than a year ago
its all about who asked who to dinner or on the date... that's who pays... only on the first date... the other dates take turns paying
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almondz
441  
almondz      When: More than a year ago
Whoever did the inviting should pay.
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
The guy pays for the movie and the meal period
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
Ha I would probably make the guy pay and then I would offer and he would most likely say noso then I would leave him some cash in his vehicle or something. So either way I'd help pay :)
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tontow
558  
tontow      When: More than a year ago
In my opinion, the guy should always man up and pay whether there's going to be a second date or not. If he doesn't then he's a lame ass with no balls
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Anonymous User
N/A  
Anonymous User      When: More than a year ago
It depends on who asked who on the date, or whoever feels comfortable paying.
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springdragonfly
1222  
springdragonfly      When: More than a year ago
The one who did the asking out should be ready to pay/offer to pay. The other person should object and they should split bills.

My general philosophy:
I think unless it is a special occasion/celebration or unless they have gotten into the habit of taking turns paying for each other, the invited person should never just accept having everything paid for for them.
I think paying might reflect well on the personality paying individual, but not ever paying, and worse, never offering to, says pretty bad things about the paid-for individual. Yikes.
I also don't understand how it can make sense to believe in equal pay and to believe that guys should still pay every single time.
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shorty6311
234  
shorty6311      When: More than a year ago
Guys pay on the first date. Its just rude if you don't! Even if the girls ask the guys out, more likely she didn't exactly bring a checkbook for dinner and a movie. All the cash she has is probably 10bucks and that's for snacks at the movie. Guys pay because if they do get along then they can make an exception and start a little play argument about how he paid first and now its her turn. She'll end up paying if you let her, but it really is wrong for her to pay, even if she insists. Don't let her. I'm the kind of girl that doesn't like guys paying for me. I don't like it when they spend too much of their money on me. But if she really likes you, she'll act all mad about it then forgive you as soon as possible. Just have the guy pay on the first date. As simple as that.
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boycrazy27
81  
boycrazy27      When: More than a year ago
Guys pay for meal and snacks at movies but movie ticket gets split
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wildd
3889  
wildd      When: More than a year ago
I think its awesome when guys pay... but personally I'd definitely offer my chance to pay as well... that's just me. In whole, it depends. If I was on a date with a guy and he insisted on paying then I would let him... but I'd make sure I put in my voice and offer to help... after that if he wants to take the cheque.. he can for sure!
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Lala85
830  
Lala85      When: More than a year ago
This is a great question! Personally, I prefer to pay for myself but if the guy insists I don't have a problem with that either, I just don't go into it expecting him to foot the bill. I have dated guys who have made comments about how I could have offered to pay for their meal. I kinda thought that was rude. I would never ask someone to pay for me.
Thanks for bringing this topic up!
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Tori-baby2011
200  
Tori-baby2011      When: More than a year ago
I Think It Really Depends On Who Asked Who Out.
Now If I Asked A Guy Out...I Would Want To Pay.
But If The Guy Asked Me Out, I Would Expect Him To Pay =]
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