I'm female and I joined a martial arts dojo a year ago and over the year me and the main instructor grew close and I grew interested in him and I do believe he was getting more and more interested as time went on. He never asked me out but I do think he made some attempts. I. E. Was fishing for information about a bf, made quick remarks about hanging out with him, and in february 2008 he started asking a bunch of questions about my dating status and he pretty much found out I was single. But then for the next few weeks he started getting either irritable, distant, or way too serious (he was always playful and goofy before this).
And we'd end up getting into small arguments over him picking fights about pointless reasons. And eventually in April it all blew up and we talked about it (but the subject of "us" never came up) and he seemed happy and fine again. And since then no arguments. But he just doesn't act the same around me anymore. He's no longer always trying to get my attention, he's not as playful as he used to be. He's more serious than he ever has been. And somewhat distant, become unreliable or unavailable to hang out. And I don't know what went wrong or what can I do to get things to get back to where they used to be. Help? I don't want to use any "ploys" or "tricks" to get his attention because I know those definitely don't work.
Sorry there wasn't even room. I would say hey what's going on? Let him say something like "what are you talking about" And then you say "You tell me. You have just become kinda moody and distant. I just wanted to know if its because of me. Did I do something because I kinda just don't know what to think." Something to that effect. Showing concern for him and noticing that something is off.
That keeps kinda dramatic...men don't like that kinda thing...:| I just don't know why he changed...u know...granted I got a little irritated here and there over small things but my irritations were justified. I mean he kept canceling his appointments on me (Sure they were for good reasons) but still it was irritating but I guess that was dramatic too. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Weather or not its dramatic lies in your tone of voice. If you don't want to talk to him about it then there's really nothing you can do about it. And if he is being distant because he thinks you have given him the cold shoulder and won't talk to him he could be thinking you don't care and will just move on, if he hasn't already. - 3 months ago
Wow that sux. I would definitely pul him aside next time you see him and call him out. Not in a confrontational way but just to talk. Tell him how you feel.
Coincidentally I've had to take some time off from the dojo due to a job situation so I haven't been there in a week so far. I might be gone for a month. And well considering I thought we were close over the past year. He hasn't inquired at all. In fact we were supposed to have a private training appoint a couple of weeks ago but it got canceled so he's been owing me one and he hasn't bothered calling me to reschedule. I don't know if just being all dramatic and having a "talk" works. HELP. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Wow. There has to be something insane going on in his life or something. Plus guys blow at taking hints when we dish them out. Is there a possibility that by you not asking him if things are ok he thinks that you don't care. Or maybe that by not not making an effort he thinks you don't wanna talk to him or anything. I'm not saying at all that you should be the one to have to but I'm trying to guess what he could be thinking. I still would, next time I see him or something, pull him aside and say - 3 months ago
Question Asker
All I know is that at some point around the time after he started asking about my status in february he had to cancel some of my appointments for some emergencies...and yeah they were emegenicies but it made me disappointed because I enjoyed the private time with him...and when you add in the cancellations and him picking silly fights and etc. I was really in a sour, mopey mood and I may have gave him the cold shoulder...so I guess that was the start of him being distant. - 3 months ago
I was dating my best friend for 8 months. I messed up too many times with him by lying checking out guys. I want to get him back I love him so much...
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My boyfriend of almost three years broke up with me exactly a month ago. He doesn't really seem to know why though and he gives me different answers...
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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