Okay so I have this massive problem. I'm a guy at heart! And I was just wondering if it would frighten most men off.
I always say what I think, if I don't like someone, I make sure they know it, I get into a lot of fights because people don't like what I say. I drink bitter and smoke cigars, I get really angry, really easily and have broken a lot of peoples hearts. I enjoy no strings attached sex and hate cuddles and long kisses. But the strange thing is, to look at me you'd think I was a sweat woman, yeah I've got green and blue hair and a lot of piercings but I am pretty and dress rather girly.
Lately I'm having a lot of trouble with men, if you've read my other question you'll know I still pine for my ex. But I do want a relationship, I'm just very, very picky and it takes a lot for someone to 'melt my heart'.
I'm difficult in a relationship as I have a very short temper and speak my mind, but other than that I can be loving and a really good girlfriend. All my friends say I should have been born a bloke, I'm very dominating and have to have everything my way. I like the way I am, and aren't gunna change for anyone.
Is it wrong to stand your ground? And do what you feel? If you're a fella and you're reading this would I scare you off? No one seems to want me after getting to know me. I thought men would like a girl that didn't beat around the bush and play games. If I like someone I will tell them. But men get freaked out. I seriously need help.
Just need to hear people's thoughts, I'm going crazy!
Wow. I just felt like you wrote a story about me 20 years ago. Your not a guy honey. And your not acting like one. Your angry!
I suggest you find a therapist to work out this anger. It sounds like a core issue(s) that you haven't dealt with and you seem to anger over the surface issues and this is why your having problems with the men you are in relationships with.
I was in your shoes at one time. I beat two sisters up in the ladies room at my mother's wedding reception and bit one of the girls two fingers just about off. Talk about anger. I hardly remember biting her fingers. I went into a black out I was so mad.
That anger is going to stop you from having a healthy relationship with a man. With your kids if you have them. I urge you to get help.
I sought out a woman therapist who was fantastic. I don't' regret it, it changed my life in ways that are absolutely wonderful.
I remember the first time someone said to me. Are you always this calm? I was looking at this woman like "Who ME"? She can't be talking to me. The counseling was working so well that I didn't even realize that I was calming down.
I also read a few of melody Bettie's books on Codependency. Which the word didn't even mean what I thought it meant. The thing that really impacted my life in that book was that I had terrible communication skills and that I didn't know how to set boundaries with people. I would just get to the point where I would tell them what I thought. And it got worse I was spilling my guts over my dislikes daily.
Get some help and do it for yourself. I promise you you won't regret it.
Some guys are easily intimidated. They generally aren't good company so the loss isn't significant.
I would take a careful look at the temper. There is a huge difference between choosing to stand your ground on a few select issues and having to be right on everything. Which of these is you?
Fwiw, my wife is 6' and can wear my clothes. Most men are terrified of her, I find her deeply refreshing.
I think it's awesome that you speak your mind, smoke cigars, and drink bitter! (I do all of these things myself.)
It's good to not beat around the bush, and it's good to not change for someone. People can either take us or leave us, yeah? I think standing one's ground it very important. You shouldn't cater to other people just to make them feel better, if they don't want the truth then they shouldn't ask a question.
I think you should be true to who you are, but honestly you may have to bend to guys needs because they have them just like women. So I think vulnerability is key, you may have to show that you are human or else guys start to think that your none girlfriend material. I think you really have what most guys are looking for when it comes to women, just be a little more open and compassionate, they like that a little, guys want to see that you are a "girl" whatever that means haha. I hope this helps a little.
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