Are girls too hard on themselves?

I don't think that guys get enough credit. We can tell that some girls on TV and movies would look like hell (guess I'd better not name names) without all the high tech lighting, the designer dresses, airbrushing, surgery and even body doubles. And we know their clever lines are scripted and rehearsed. And we can see that the girls next door are every bit as hot - often just as you are. Brains, attitude and sense of humor go a long way, but when you try to look extra nice we appreciate that a lot. What IS unfair is for the guy to expect the girl to stay toned and made up, while he lets his mid section stretch and never shaves. It works both ways. I may not be Mr Olympia, but it doesn't mean I can't try to look good for my age. And girls, what is with all the body art? Who is that for?

This is in response to Alwaysclassy:

Guys have our own social pressures. You girls have to deal with the physical side and guys on the other hand have to maintain a confidence swagger to attract you girls.

With looks, you ultimately have the power of choice. You don't think guys think about how easy it is for a girl (7+) who just gets to stand there and pick and choose the many guys who approach her? That is what girls are able to do which is to choose the men.

Men on the other hand are the chasers. Sure it's tough for girls to "look" the part but what about the un-masculine fellas? The Un-confident guy? I wish it was that easy for guys to just work out and get the girl. So basically, we compete for girls and she picks and chooses who did the best.

"It seems these days all a guy has to do is put on nice clothes and that's it."

We do what it takes to get laid and obviously our looks play a very minimal roll into getting a mate. Trust me, if it wearing high heels while carrying the biggest pig on our backs was the way to attract a female, we'd be all about it.

I understand that unfortunately, guys can do a little work in the gym and if they improve their personalty (confidence and whatever else you wanna call it) they will get the girl and that for some women with bad genetics are just screwed.

In the end, those are social rules that govern our attraction to one another. I think it's fair and balanced the way it is.

No, I think some girls are too hard on themselves, and others are not hard enough on themselves.

Looking like some celebrities is a very high standard, and possibly an unrealistic (not to mention sort of pointless) aim. Celebrities are rich with more resources and often good genes. Make money and become a geneticist instead, then you can do that and more late.

To bring the counter argument into play, why don't girls go for the shy nice guy and always pick the assholes?

And why is this? Well because the shy/nice guy is a pushover pussy and the other guy is exciting.

As ideal as it is to value personality before appearances, that's just not the case.

Instead, everyone looks for the total package of a combination of emotional/intellectual intelligence and a fit body. Somewhat of an un-attainable package but it is what it is.

Girls have their cards to play with, Guys have theirs.

The thing is hun that there is NO such thing as a perfect body. Did you know that 3/5 of all models on TV have been air brushed. They don't look like that in reality it's all how the TV portrays it. Some guys like heavier, girls. Some guys like thin, skin an bone girls. Some guys like the toned girls. You'll get the right guy and he will love your body. He's out there. Girls and guys are too hard on themselves.

God doesn't make crap.

hard on ourselves omg yes! we are our worst critics! all I do is compare myself to other people I cry because I think I'm not pretty or skinny enough to ever have a fella love me or for me to ever love myself. unfortunately this is always going to be an issue with girls it can't be stopped if it could we would stop our selfs from feeling like this some girls are lucky and 100% confident and happy within them selves but that's only some most of us arent! don't compare myself to celebrities though for some reason but anybody on the street or whatever I do

you have a very good head on your shoulders. looks will only get you so far in life.

initially most guys go for a pretty girl because they're attracted to the outward appearance. men are very visual beings. it could also be that the reason why men choose girls with no brain is because they don't want to be around someone who'll make them feel belittled because of their own shortcomings as a person. so they find that intelligent women as a turn off because they know at some point they won't be able to keep up with her. however, there are girls out there who are pretty AND intelligent and have wonderful qualities about them just as there are girls who are 'ugly' and are hollow in the head. you can't really judge people because of how they look, instead judge them for their personality and how they behave towards others and you.

girls take media whether its the tv, magazines and billboard ads way too seriously. the majority of the images that you see have been digitally manipulated to target a certain demographic and most of the time, young women are the target. realistically every person comes in different shapes and sizes. no one person will be the same. so trying to set impossible goals like being a stick thing model to look 'hot' is sooo unhealthy not to mention a bit gross.

just remember that there are for more important things than looks and as you get older, everyone's going to get saggy and wrinkly, something that even 'pretty' people will have to embrace. once that sets in, what else will they be good for when their looks are gone.

sorry if I sound a bit pessimistic here. I just wanted to give you a realistic and honest answer. I hope I didn't come across insensitive and if so I apologize in advance.

but you know what, I'm sure you're equally beautiful outside and inside. don't listen to what people say because at the end of the day, it is you who has to look at yourself in the mirror and face the world. just remember to be kind to yourself and don't be so hard yourself.

Cheers!

Yes we are way too hard on ourselves. I know I am. I obsess about how I look all the time, I go broke trying to stay in fashion and pretty, and the other week I actually cried because I didn't meet my weight loss goal! I'm not blaming guys for it, but they do play a part in the matter.

Sometimes I wish they had the pressure of having to be perfect 24/7. It seems these days all a guy has to do is put on nice clothes and that's it. If a guy is a little fat, then nobody cares. People ostracize and make jokes about fat girls. Guys don't really have to worry about all that we do.

Looks matter, I understand nobody wants an ugly SO, but guys put too much emphasis on our looks and not enough on their own.