I have been seeing this guy for over a year . He is a rough person to begin with but has always been good to me. He and my mom don't get along since he told her to shut up on night when we first started dating. So they do not speak. But now he is getting really controlling. He lives next door to us with his buddy that's how I met him. We found out that I was pregnant we started talking about moving in together. He and I can't stop fight about where were gonna live, what kind of furniture we should get and just all that little stuff. The big things that are really bothering me are that he says that he is so unhappy. we had a big fight about 3 weeks ago and he told me he was unhappy and would probably be unhappy for the next 10 years. I told him that I couldn't live like that and maybe we should take a break. I needed a week or so to try to understand what was going on. He called me three days later and told me that he should be able to tell me stuff like that and that is what normal people in relationships talk about, then he started saying things like were not taking the baby out to eat at a restaurant until she is trained not to cry, and that around the holidays I am not to take the baby to my moms if he can't go. He doesn't want the baby around my mom or family cause they have bad attitudes. He also told me that he doesn't like the fact that I have to work one night out of the week and that better stop when the baby is born cause he will need his sleep to go to work in the morning. When we first learned that the baby was a girl he got so upset for days that It was like he was in mourning over his mothers death. He keeps telling me that it upsets him that everything is all about me and the baby right now and he feels he is not getting enough attention. He feels I don't spend enough time with him. I try to spend at least 5 nights a week at his house and make him feel as involved as possible but I am getting run down. I work two jobs and am extremely tired since I got pregnant. I don't know what to do, I can not live with such a controlling environment. I have tried to talk to him about it and he says that I don't understand how he feels. I think that I would be better off raising our baby by my self. I want her to have all the things that I didn't and give her a good life and he tells me that he doesn't understand why she needs to have a mobile for her crib cause she doesn't know what it is. He says that kids up tell their two are the same as a dog and have the same learning ability. He is good in other ways like he made me chocolate covered strawberries for valentines day and we go out to eat. He has never hit me but if I don't go and see him at least 5 nights a week he gets all pissy with me. He refuses to go out with his buddy's or even go fishing/golfing with them unless I go. What do you think? is this normal because it dosn't feel like it?
Actions speak louder than words. if he treats you like shit, yells at your mother, and is a rough person, chances are he's not going to be a good father or role model for your child. There is a fine line between protective and obsessive.
Watch him very closely after the baby is born. if he ever loses control around your child even for a moment. I'd take measures to drastically decrease the amount of time he spends around you. Whether you move, or file a complaint you should do something to protect your child.
Guys like this always seem to have a foul/nasty temper. are you going to wait until the guy explodes and puts you and your family in danger?
Before doing anything I would ask the rest of your family for their opinions because they probably understand the context of your relationship much better than anybody on this site can.
I know that he doesn't hit you or anything like that, but emotional abuse is not acceptable either. I agree with GruffBalloon that actions speak louder than words. Yes, he may be good in other ways, but would you rather a guy treat you with respect and take your feelings into consideration even though he doesn't do anything romantic your you, or someone who is romantic on occasions like Valentine's Day but doesn't treat you with respect and wants only his way on every other day of the year?
Relationships are about giving and taking. You BOTH have to make sacrifices for the person you love, not have just one person making all the sacrifices for the other.
And the very least I would expect from a guy I'm with is that he treats my mother with respect, even if they don't get along.
It is apparent that your boyfriend has serious anger issues. He has very fragile self-esteem and he obviously can't stand it when it isn't all about HIM!
I urge you to take caution and understand that this type of behavior does not change it only get worse. If he was willing and had the desire to change his behavior it would take at least 2 or 3 + years of work.
If you stay with him and he doesn't get help you will most definitely be miserable and honestly the baby/child does not deserve to be brought up in this type of environment.
You need to make a clean break by telling him that he need to seek help.
I am curious does he drink excessively and or do drugs?
Ok, here's the situation. If I go into great length it'll be a million words. there was this guy I knew and I found out that he attended seminars on...
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 4 months ago
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