I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. The last 2-3 years, we spent approx $200 on each other's Christmas or birthday presents apiece. this year he really wanted to fix his kitchen and his sink needed replacing so I took him to the store and said I'll buy you a sink and faucet. I went to the $200 sink/faucet area, but he made a beeline for the $400 sinks. I figured OK, my birthday's coming in 2 weeks, and I guess he's going to spend $400 so I moved down to the $400 sinks and got him that. He was really pleased. And I was too because I figured we'd sort of entered a new realm of the gift giving hierarchy.
Wrong.
Later that weekend he was ordering some stuff on ebay on my pc. After he left I turned on the computer and the screen came up with a necklace for $26.52 that he had won. I figured he'd gotten it for his niece, and didn't think anything of it till 2 weeks later, when he very proudly gave it to me for my birthday. it was tarnished, and the chain wasn't even silver or gold, but that metal that turns your skin green. The chain was dirty, and knotted. He acted like he had some precious antique, not knowing that I had seen the final price for this piece. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say except thank you. I was upset but I stayed composed and put it out of my mind. I was afraid I would say the wrong thing and wanted to have time to figure things out on my own and decide when, or if, I would bring the subject up.
The next day, he brought it up. He told me that he could tell I hadn't liked it, and he said it accusingly, not with concern that you usually have when you want to make someone happy. I told him that since he brought it up, yes, I was disappointed, since it was not like the gifts he'd given me in the past or even like the gift he'd picked out for me to buy him. I didn't tell him I saw the ebay price with the picture and all. At any rare, It's caused tension between us.
Just as a background to this episode: Later, he told me him mom was buying him a stove. Since she was footing the bill he decided not to get the nice used one I'd found for him on the internet but a new $1,200 model. I have to tell you it was a turn off to see how selfish he was. His mom is on a fixed income. and he accused me of materialism when I'd answered his question and told him I was disappointed about the necklace!
He's very angry at me for telling him how I felt. I can't take the words back and I'm not sure I want to. the whole episode has left a bad taste in our mouths, and he won't talk about it with me to sort out our feelings or go see a counselor. I'm afraid we're at an impasse.
Am I materialistic or is he a cheapo who got caught cheaping out on a present?
If I was him I would be pissed also, I mean your not supposed to go snoopin' for a present before I give it to you. Come on didn't you get in trouble when you were a kid and got busted searching for your Christmas presents in the back of your parents closets. I am just kidding its not you who is in the wrong here its him. First of all for him to get mad because you didn't like his little trinket that he essentially got at the online flea market is ridiculous. But the way he handled all three situations is just not good, Is he the kind of guy that when someone else is picking up the tab they order the T-bone but if they have to pay the check its strictly chicken?
If your answer is yes then he is definitely a cheapo
he seems pretty darn cheap, you spent 400$ on a sink for him, then he buys you a shitty necklace for 27$ and is making his mother buy him a brand new stove? [unless she has a some secret wealth of cash hanging around somewhere that's pretty low]
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