Low self esteem...how can I change?

This a case where it's been quantity vs.quality for a long time and believing in the conformity of quantity.

Now it's like your family(Quantity/strength in number's, and believing in it) has been comparing you to someone who you are not, your whole life. And that's not fair to you. Maybe it's someone else's shoes who you are to fill in life, and not the person to whomever your family compares you to. And taking what you have to offer for granted. They're comparing you on a purely physical level.

And your boyfriend(Quality) sees you for who you are and isn't comparing you to other people the way your family is. He compares you to You. And he likes the way you look at him(probably the way you smile at him/the look in your eyes is probably different), he likes the way you treat him. It also makes him feel good about himself and he probably hopes he makes you feel the same way.

And it sounds like you "deal" with your family and with your boyfriend it's totally different(you spend time with him), but you can't let your family past out look ruin a good thing.

And that's why you should believe your boyfriend. Not your family. Make "the change" because you want to not because they tell you to.

You just have to trust him. If you are planning to stay with your current boyfriend for the rest of your life or whatever, and you love him just as much as he loves you, you gotta believe when he says some things. I believe I speak for every guy that when he compliments his partner, he typically means it. He's not saying it to just try and cheer you up, but to tell what he knows. He wants you out of this trap of low self-esteem. My girlfriend is wonderful and beautiful inside and out, but she also refuses to accept this. I'm not complimenting her just to compliment, but also to try and make her believe me. I want her to know she is so beautiful. Even my family thinks she is beautiful and sweet. But you just have to trust him when he says something like that. It's not like he would lie about something like that.

maybe now you feel like those horrible words are going to stick around forever but they aren't. for 18 years I was told I wasn't pretty or skinny enough. now I'm outgoing and I don't care about what people think of my looks or personality. its all about you and what makes you happy. surround yourself with people that support and care for u. if someone is going to say horrible things to you .ignore them. I promise you things will get better for you in the future.don't give up hope. if ur boyfriend is trying to help by telling you what a great person you are.listen! if he didn't mean it then he wouldn't wanna be with u.

what your feeling is normal. your family used that approach with you to provoke you so you can change your eating habits. also this method is so common between parents who do not know the right way to communicate with their children about any problem in the family. they wanted to push your buttons so you can finally start looking after urself. that does not mean they don't love you but they just do not know the way to express it. now the good part in your life is your bf, he seems a very nice person, he is accepting you the way you are, you should give yourself a chance, to him you are pretty and he likes you just as you are. in fact, that is more than enough, to have the person you are with thinks very positively about you, if that is his opinion then he is right and no one else's matter. trust him, believe him to believe in yourself, put in mind that not all people are perfect, but you are much better off since you have someone there to help you and care for you, so help him back by accepting his support, try to let go and trust him, it does not sound easy but in fact it is, once you loosen up a bit, everything will go just fine. you should see him as the person who will make up to you all the bad moments you already had. take the positive side out of everything, once you trust him, you will overcome everything. keep your spirit up, you deserve it, don't let anyone affect you anymore, you know urself better, when you feel beautiful you will look beautiful, no one can ever change that for you, just give yourself time, believe in yourself and hold on to that special person in ur life

Oh bless you honey. Let me tell you something, it sounds really cliche, but beauty comes from the inside. And you know what, there isn't a picture of you on here, but I bet you beautiful on the outside too. Being a little bigger doesn't mean you're ugly. there are some stunning plus size models who are probably bigger than you. have a look at some pics of the plus model Lousie somethingorrather.
It might scare you, but you really need to talk to your family and tell them how you feel. If you need to lose weight, either let them help you positively, or deal with it yourself.
As for hurting yourself, PLEASE stop. I have been self harming since I was 10 and have cut myself so deep that I've needed plenty of stitches and I've cut straight through nerves which has meant that I cannot feel in parts of my arm, but in others even the slightest bash and I'm in agony. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stop while you're still ahead. It's not a good route to go down. I look like frankenstein with the scarring on my body and I'm currently on the waiting list for cosmetic surgery for the scarring. Try and find another way of dealing with it. Talk to the family, perhaps take out your feelings in the gym (that's what I do), or do something creative. write how you feel, draw how you feel, but don't hurt yourself.
Take care, chick. Hope this helps.