Kinda long story but here goes, so I met this guy about 7 mos ago, I thought he was Mr. Joe Confidence, come to find out after a lot of analyzing that he is not, just putting up the facade, anyhow, he had me fooled for awhile thinking he was Mr, Player Man, (the way he came off) so I basically had the impression from him, that he was secure and confident, like I said he is not, if anyone has read any of my other stuff, this is the ex bodybuilder/stripper that has now gained a lot of weight and has lost some hair, ( I think he's hot) and carried around a picture of himself from 10yrs ago, anyway I think I realized a little to late that he is a shy guy really and is no longer sooo sooo confident about himself, so anyway I totally misread everything this guy said and did, my fault really I started liking him and was afraid he was just gonna hurt me, so I started thinking what an asshole, over everything he did or didn't do, I thought I was being played, well come to find out, NOW, I don't think I was, I think he was just shy and nervous, he told me he liked me, told me he was attracted to me, great chemistry etc etc, but last week when he said he was gonna call and didn't (for like the 10th time) I called him on it, and asked him if he was an asshole, or if he thought I was, see he calls me, we make plans and then he doesn't call to follow up with the plans. I have said to him on like 3 different occasions, if your not interested just let me know, and he got upset the last time I said it and said " I know you have told me" so basically when I called him an asshole last week, I also said let's call it a truce and just stop calling each other, I said to him that his credibility with me, has been shot, I said this after he said he could not talk right now and he would call back, I laughed and said, you do realize that means nothing to me, because you say it and never do, or when you do, it's 2 days after you say you will call, I said your credibility is gone, then I went on to say that I thought he was a mean person and if he was just playing around with me he was cruel, and all I was trying to do was get to know you, anyhow he could not respond ( was at a pig roast with friends) this was last Wednesday and I have not heard from him, when I called him an asshole I did not directly say it, what I said was " I hope your not an asshole, because that would mean I am a bad judge of character" so like I said I have not heard from him, I called today and left a message, and don't get me wrong, I guess I was giving out mixed signals as well, but I was only doing it because I thought he was playing with me. So anyhow, I'm thinking if he really liked me he would have called me to prove me wrong on the asshole comment, but NO call, so does this mean it's over? I mean if he truly liked me wouldn't he have called? or is he licking wounds at the moment, or do I take his silence as he is an asshole, and I guess he doesn't care what I think? Thoughts? Thanks!
Update: well, he called back, we talked for awhile and really discussed are feelings, and we found out that we were both thinking alike, he thought I was playing him, and I thought the same about him, funny, I think we finally figured some things out !
5 months ago
Sounds like a real mess and it sounds to me that he's sick of it (just as much as you are?) and he's just given up and is gonna move on. And I agree with Quantum, I don't think he will make any more moves.
Once you call a guy names, for any reason, your sending him a signal to get lost (only truly arrogant men ignore such signals, by the way) yea I would be licking my wounds too. at this point, your gonna have to eat some major crow here. don't expect him to ever make a move on you now. if your serious and want him, your gonna have to kiss some ass, and take the reigns and ask him out.and this is a case where I would NOT expect him to pay, or go dutch, your gonna have to TREAT him! that's the only way he'll get the message you want to start fresh. of course, despite all that, he may choose just to avoid ya after all, I know I would after being called names!
Well like you said he's shy. Maybe his reason for not calling you back is because his pride got hurt or you saying that brought back memories to him, he doesn't want to re-live. I not been in the exact same situation but when something like this happened it thought like about 2 weeks for the guy to call. If he doesn't respond to your msgs DON'T call or leave voice msgs or text or email. Let him come to you.
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