I posted a question a couple of weeks ago about this guy that I'm interested in. Now, everything seems to have changed between us. I ended up telling him that I was sort of crushing on him, and he said he already knew that. Ok, no big deal. He didn't say whether he liked me back or not, but we kept talking. A few days later, it became increasingly difficult to have a conversation with him. He lost his cell phone, he hurt his arm, so couldn't go to work, and he was rarely online. The few times I have talked to him since then, he seemed very flighty, very distracted, like he was there but he wasn't there. I have asked if he wanted to hang out, and he said he would, but when I went to pick him up, he wasn't there. So I got very upset. He hadn't blown me off when we made plans before, and it bothered me. Especially since I had the feeling that he was interested in me to begin with.
To make matters worse, he saw a doctor about his arm, and needs surgery. Ok, so I understand that, and he told me that it'll be a year if he stays here or less than 6 months if he moves back home (3 hours away). He then asked me if I wanted him to stay, and I said yes, but that it's his arm, and we aren't dating, so I don't have much of a say in the matter. Well, we both had a laugh over that, and changed the subject.
So, what changed between us? And how did it change? Why did it change?
Update: It officially doesn't matter. He moved back home, which happens to be 3 hours from where I live. He didn't say goodbye, nothing. I found out today, and he left the middle of last week.
5 months ago
It sounds very much like he's not comfortable with you anymore because you have feelings for him. He probably always suspected it and sort of felt flattered, but never had any intention of taking it anywhere. And never thought you would do anything about it, so he was safe to just enjoy the friendship. But when you actually decided to tell him you liked him - this is what changed everything. This was you acting on it. And now he had to back off to make it clear to you he wasn't interested in that. I was in the same situation with a good guy friend of mine who liked me. I knew he did, but it was only when he told me I backed off completely and it effectively ruined the friendship for about 6 months. You need to just give him space.
I understand what you're saying. My problem with it is that since I told him how I felt, he's kept making comments such as "You could take advantage of me" or "Let's skip work and make out in the parking lot" etc.. These comments have made me think that he's interested in me still, but he has backed off. I haven't been pushy, just tried talking to him, but got nothing. I'm not going to push my luck. He can come to me if he still wants to be friends.
Thank you for the advice! - 5 months ago
Answerer
I can see why you're confused. But yes I think you're doing the right thing by backing off. Like you said - he knows where you are if he still wants to be friends. Good luck! - 5 months ago
Question Asker
Thanks! I think I'm going to need a LOT of luck with this one. Thanks again! - 5 months ago
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