It seems like in today's world, cheating is only second to murder on the sin-scale. Then how does one make sense of all the cheaters out there? Is this something we are hypocritical about i.e., we all condemn it but are secretly quite open to it?
Update: Hmmm, 1 answer so far, looks like I've hit a nerve!
I welcome any thoughts on this issue you may have, even if you don't take a stance in answer to the question.
5 months ago
We don't all condemn it. Most people actually approve it in some fashion because it is the only venue for sexual exploration open to many people. We set up a binding system and then provide a single outlet, which, when taken opens them up for severe social sanction. Its a way of humbling the great and aggrandizing the ordinary person, not for what they have done but what they don't do.
Being in an open marriage, I am free to have sex with other people (long as I am honest, practice safer sex and avoid sleeping with insane women). The interesting thing is people have more problem with that than cheating. I have had women who were more than willing to sleep with me when they guessed I might be cheating but ducked once they found out it was perfectly ok with my wife. Why is that?
I agree with you that as a society we've set-up a rigid system with only one way out. It is a very interesting thought. I would like to know what the basis of an open marriage is, what do you do with the jealousy? - 5 months ago
Answerer
Jealousy is less of a fact than people think. Once you remove the social permission to act like a complete loon, most people stop experiencing it as anything other than minor, transitory feeling. Having a jealous fit only makes you less attractive and counts against you.
The basis of an open marriage is the people involved decide the terms of the marriage, the rights, privileges and responsibilities. Many of them don't include monogamy as an expected behavior. My rules are basically listed above. - 5 months ago
I don't agree with cheating at all. A relationship is supposed to be about you and your partner not the girl next door or the guy on the bus. If you are going to cheat why have a relationship?
Personally I wouldn't cheat, karma seems to always come back to you! - 5 months ago
Answerer
Cheating is breaking an agreement covertly while expecting your partner to keep it. My agreements don't include monogamy but there are rules that I could "cheat" on that would cause problems. I don't recommend cheating simply because it alters the relationship in some really bad ways. - 5 months ago
This is a very interesting question. I used to be one of those girls growing up that was totally against cheating. Then one day I started liking a guy that was married. I have cheated with him and a guy that has a gf. I don't really have guilty feelings about it but I feel like society makes me feel like I should have guilty feelings. I don't know how I feel 100% about cheating at this point. I would never want to hurt someone by my actions which is what I know that I am doing. It is a really hard question to answer because I would be mad if someone cheated on my sibling or friend but yet I am doing it. The one thing that I hate is when people automatically judge you and say that you're "easy" or a "slut." That is far from who I am. Both men that I have cheated with I have had strong feelings for. They have not just been these guys that I met out of the blue. I'm sorry if I am rambling (LOL) but you posed a very good question.
In a way I don't think cheating is really cheating until you have a wedding ring on your finger and your married. Until then the government considers you to be a single person, so there fore you are single.If I'm single why if your just "seeing" someone is it considered cheating? There are also many levels of supposed cheating too. emotional cheating? physical cheating?. We evolved from apes, were mammals and were animals at some point. We're hunters we hunt for our prey and in some cases that means were hunting for a person to be with, that doesn't always mean you will remain "faithful" to that person when your animals instincts kick in and you see someone who interests you, its in our genes. I think NOT cheating is more will power to try to stay faithful then anything. This is a question that could go in so many different directions from so many people.
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