Personally, I think that once you're old enough to start deciding what you want to do in life (high school) you should stop the whole mind game playing. It's immature and not worth the time and effort to keep the lies up.
I believe a person should never do it to begin with. And I think it is really immature. A relationship full of lies isn't a good relationship at all (plus there won't be any trust). I mean how will you be able to tell when someone is telling the truth if their constantly lying. Someone is bound to get hurt by it eventually. That's pretty much what I believe.
It's better to tell the truth even you hurt him/her.than playing his/her feelings!one more thing if you play with someone your just wasting your time to find your soulmate.and second if you wanna play you need to tell him/her your just playing so both of you didn't hurt in the end.no "LOVE" involve that's the first thing you need to clear if you wanna play.
I agree with you that people shouldn't play games, but like others have said it's a maturity thing. Some people never mature. In some sense I feel sorry for those people, because it is like they never really know who they are and that is the reason they never really know what they want. It's all about taking a step back and looking at yourself for who you really are. - 2 months ago
I don't think it's a number, I think its more of a maturity level, that most should reach by 30, one would hope, but then again, you do have some older assholes out there.
You'd think the lies would stop when the other person realizes that they don't want to be lied to anymore, but some people like to be lied to, so to speak, they don't want to hear the truth, they would rather live in there fantasy lives they have going on in there heads.
I think it is hard for people to say it like it is, and I think it is done for selfish reasons rather than sparing feelings, there sparing there own feelings, not the person there suppose to care about.
I'll admit I have a lot more respect for anyone if there just honest, and say it like it is, otherwise it's just insulting, but these people are to stupid to realize we KNOW, ya know ?
Just had someone lie and play games with me for 6mos, so I'm still a little pissed off.
Up until recently I was going through the very same thing myself. I completely agree with everything you said. People do respond more to lies then they would the truth . I would want someone to be honest with me 2 , but I know a guy who can't be. People just really need to grow up and fast . - 2 months ago
people don't have to stop playing games just don't play them as much because it makes you look childish if you play them 24/7 people will never stop lying its a part of life but you do need to tell the truth more than necessary. for most people it is hard to be honest but work on it and things will get better with time.
After college, many people should know what they want in life by now. Many people in this age range are looking for stable career and looking for companions who will share their passion. Mind games can only stall the process and many people doesn't want that to interrupt their career.
One option missing from your poll is what I believe. I don't think people should learn to "play games" in the first place. If you think about it, children tend to be honest and forthright when they start communicating, if they haven't already been taught otherwise. It is only through parental, and other people's, guidance that they learn to manipulate the truth to fit their needs. If parents would be honest with their children, communicate openly instead of "protecting" them, and earn their respect, children would not have to learn to manipulate their parents and, therefore, everyone else. The more fowled up the environment you came from, the more likely it is that you are coping for that environment by manipulating others. Truth is always better, even when it is not what you want to hear.
I think that in high school you should be getting past playing games. I can understand a little bit in college but really after freshman and sophomore year you should be done with it.
Most people marked (19-23) as the time to stop playing games? I think that's absurd. Have you ever even been to college before?
If you are in college, you have just moved past the stage of high school. You are only starting to be an adult.
Most college students I know (since I am one) don't even know what the f*** it means to be an adult. People from the age of "19-23" should play games! They should go out and experience the world, take relatively small risks, and see everything you can, and be with a lot of different people.
Why?
Because in this age group you really need to answer a really important question. That being "who the f*** am i?"
I'm not trying to say that it's right to play mind games, because it's not. I'm just saying that "19-23" is no where near the age of maturity (the age of maturity is around 30). Which in turn means that you can't expect anybody to engage in a serious relationship (unless you meet somebody spectacular).
And by serious relationship I mean marriage material
Once you're in college, it's time to be mature, it's time to be honest. With yourself, and with others.
I don't necessarily believe that college students should date exclusively, but that doesn't mean lie about it. You should always think about the way you would want that person to be with you. It's an old ideal that our parents would preach, but it just makes plain sense.
I believe playing games to begin with is ridiculous and childish. At least when one is in high school, they have an "excuse" because at least they are "children." But once one graduates, all that nonsense should end.
Games are generally a product of insecurity. Since insecurity cannot be fixed by an external source, there is no way to fix them. The person playing the game actually needs the enormous reassurance of someone being hopelessly devoted to them. A lesser intense relationship leaves them feeling unloved and unappreciated.
The other side of this problem is people not believing the behavior. People generally are who they act like. There isn't a huge surprise later in the relationship where they suddenly become someone completely different. When we are honest about it, the signs were there all along, we simply ignored them.
Games are generally due to an imbalance of power. The pursuer has less status than the pursued (the player is more "attractive", higher status etc.) and this imbalance allows the pursued to make unreasonable demands for their attention. As long as they have higher desirability, there is always someone else who is willing to put up with the foolishness so ultimatums generally don't work nor can the pursuer offer enough to get to the "real" person under the games.
The sad fact is that the best solution is to walk away when it becomes apparent someone isn't going to be honest. Personally, I find that I don't encounter games much anymore because I older and I am not competing for high status partners (since most of the people I date are already involved in a primary relationship)
Poll added by question asker. Cast your vote to see the current results.
