Hello and thank you for your time. Recently I started dating someone in a long distance relationship (across the united states). We'd talked for a few months before and I decided to come see her this previous Wednesday. About a week before I came, everything was going well, yet another guy started talking to her whom she says she doesn't have feelings for, but she talks to him more than she does me these days. Today, I was at the mall with her and I asked her what her plans were for tomorrow and she told me that she was going to see a guy friend from work (another guy she says she doesn't have feelings for, but he likes her. She also texts him frequently while we're out.). I asked her when we were going to spend some quality time together (as our plans for tonight were canceled due to her friend's birthday) and she said that I'd need to start setting up things a couple of days in advance. I figured since I'd spent the money and time to come see her over these ten days, (and that's what she wanted as well) that I should be the priority over her other guy friends. I mentioned this to her and she told me I was being a crybaby (I was just asking politely and in a gentle manner.).The question is, is she hiding something from me, or is she just wanting more space? Is there a way to salvage this relationship?
Update: I appreciate all of your input, I really do. We've just now come to a mutual agreement that we're not right for each other. Thank you all again.
4 months ago
I have a friend girl who has more guy friends than she does girl friends, and she's one of those girls who just. Goes though boyfriends like a deck of cards, and never. doesn't have a boyfriend lol. A lot of guys she goes out with find it uncomfortable when she goes out with her "friends"because they are all guys.
The difference is, they truly are her friends, nothing past that and she can differenciate between boyfriends and friendboys.
Normally, I wouldn't get too upset about it, but the fact she called you a crybaby when you told her your feelings in a "polite gentle manner" would really tick me off.
Yeah, you should be priority over her other guy friends and if she denies that, time to find a new girlfriend >.>.
A relationship to me is when both the guy and the girl treat each other equally- If you feel that's not the case in this situation, explain how you feel to her.
If she's like "oh buzz off", I'd move on. Honestly man, not worth your time.
If she's like "They're my friends, neither of us have feelings for each other, and you need to accept that. Your my priority but I also have friends I want to hang out with occasionally." Then. I would try to work out a compromise, Eg. Half time with you, half time with them or 25% with you or 75% them, or what ever your comfortable with.
Tons of girls out there-- Don't try to force yourself to like one that doesn't like you, no matter how much you like them lol.
Hello :) Well coming from a past long distance relationship, if you take the time in going to visit ur g.f. she should be more appreciative of u. now for her hanging out with more than just one guy, that's questionable? who knows one could be an ex b.f.? especially if she hasn't introduced you to him, I'd wonder. how long have you two been together? because if its a new relationship and tells you a co-worker likes u, she is just tryingf to make you jelouse, and if I was her I wouldn't hang out with someone who likes me while I have a boyfriend. well as for me coming from a past long distance relationship, I suggest that it should be a give and take relationship from both ends :)
Honestly the long distance relationship don't work that well if it ever work , why don't you try to find some girl who live in you're city or same state , it gonna be better for you at least you can know more about her and its easy to meet her when both of you got a free time ,
I don't know what to say man. I'd be a little ticked off too. I mean, you spent a ton of money flying to see her and that's not happening. She sounds like she's being a little pain in the _____. To me, this would sour the relationship, I mean come on, seriously. If it wouldn't be worth it for her to see you a bit while you were there then it shouldn't be worth it for you either. I would be upset if she has to be calling/texting her other friends all the time too. I'm not saying that she can't communicate with them at all, but since you can't go out there often it's only sensible to make the most of every opportunity. Her response to your question would only fire me up even more. To me, it sounds like she is just feeding you excuses like "I'm too busy" and "You should've been planning things ahead" would frustrate me. Just me personally, after all that crap, that would be the end of it all. Period. P.S.- Sorry, some of the stuff I said might not be what you want to hear. I'm a little upset myself personally, so I'm sure some of that filtered into my opinion. Send me a message, I want to hear you on if some of what I said is true or if I was full of it.
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