Why am I so stuck on him?

Hey Anon.

I've seen this before many times. First things first, I don't know really all the details to your situation except what you provided, which seems to be alot. But have you ever heard the statement "Once a cheater, always a cheater?" I mean, it sounds like he's manipulating you in several ways. Firstly, he doesn't have respect for you. Secondly, trust has been broken, and honesty is the foundation for any relationship- because the previous one was built on lies, what makes you think this one will be different? But it sounds to me like the decision has already been made on your part- even though you know it's the wrong one. So because of this, you posted this message hoping to achieve some sort of "backing". What I'm trying to say is go with your head, not your emotions or heart or feelings, one this one. They will lead you astray most of the time. Don't feel sorry for him because of the fact that he says he doesn't have anyone now. How long have you been without him? How many nights did you stay up crying over this while he was out with whoever having a good time and smiling? Doesn't sound like he had love for you then, so why the change now? Sounds to me like he's trying to find someone to dupe and control again to me, not calling you, etc. Again, the decision is up to you, but I'm 28, and one thing I know for a fact, if it happened once, history will repeat itself. So which end do you want to be on next time it happens?

I'll be completely honest here, so brace yourself.the guy doesn't seem to truly care about you, if the only reason why he seems to come back to you is for the sex. To men, sex can be a primal thing, as if to 'mark your territory' and show that you were better than any other guy, and make him feel good about himself. If you're giving him this pleasure without any kind of strings of discipline, then it's probably too late.

Your biggest mistake was probably giving him as much free reign as he had. I can safely say right now that, unless he truly wanted to change, you guys would end up divorced due to infidelity in under 6 months time, easy. He'd have zero responsibility for childcare, and would end up being the most hated guy on your list, all because there was no 'tough love' shown.

Any guy who thinks it's alright to string two girls along at the same time is low. He's using the other girl for his emotional needs, and using you for his physical needs.

If you ever want it to work with him, you need to set boundaries that even yourself have to follow. Sadly, it may be too late with the amount of time this has been going on.I wish you luck either way, but just don't throw your life away for one guy.

What I notice is that you didn't really detail any of the "good times" you had with him. I don't see you as truly loving this man, but putting up with him because he's there, and because he was your first long boyfriend (or first actual boyfriend, I'm not sure).

There's something wrong with him that I can't pin, but it seems like he has some emotional and mental things he has to deal with/resolve before he can really be in a relationship.

Also, you need to explain this last bit because it's unclear, "I look at rebound girl's away message. and it say I love you and his name. and her facebook picture. is a pic of them two!"

Is he dating someone new? What does all that mean?

Also, why not just be friends with him? You don't have to have sex with him, and you don't have to date him, just be friends.


Hope some of what I said made sense, feel free to continue to ask questions.

I think you should just leave and forget about him. time heal all wounds.