Girls, do you think you're entitled to chivalry?

I have mixed feelings about this one. As such, I did not vote on the poll. I believe that showing generous and kind acts to ALL others is a great thing and I try to live my life by this standard.

1292, from Old French. chevalerie "horsemanship," from chevaler "knight." This word comes directly from the old Knight's Code. The code basically states, among other things, that a knight is duty bound and sworn to lend aid and show mercy towards all who were ill, weak or helpless. Right at the top of this "weak and helpless" list was women. Much of the modern sentiments attached to chivalry are deeply rooted in this old Knight's Code. Even the sincerest and most well intentioned men who offer chivalry to women don't always realize that they may be doing it because they place women as "unequals" or weak. Sure, it is a nice thing to do to hold open a door and such but it would be so much better if a person held open doors and other acts of kindness to anyone and everyone. If we did these things only to help the weak or needy then we start seeing some people as weak and needy while we see others as better and stronger.

All that being said, I'm always trying to do good deeds for all types of people. I really hate it though when people don't say "thank you" or smile or even look at me to acknowledge my presence. When people do good things for me, I try to assume that they are just being polite and I smile and thank them.

I don't feel I'm entitled to it, but it is nice.

My husband is an old fashioned sweet guy. He's been opening doors for me for almost two years now, and I still give him a 'thank you' or smile. It makes me feel like I married the greatest guy in the world. Don't give up that chivalry!

It's definitely a nice surprise. I will smile and thank them. I'm not going to complain if someone doesn't hold a door open for me, but I don't understand it when people are insulted when someone DOES. I hold doors open for people all the time. When I'm outside the coffee shop I frequent, and I see someone pushing a stroller, or carrying something heavy, or an elderly couple struggling with a walker or wheelchair toward the door, I'll get up from where I'm sitting and open the door for them. I'm impressed by anyone who does things like that, not just guys. I'm not impressed by chivalry in particular, so much as I am by general politeness. =]

I personally love it when a guy does stuff like that but I don't expect it so I constantly forget and my man usually pulls me away from the door before I can open it I'm starting to remember but he walks slower than me lol I appreciate it even if I don't say it.

its a nice gesture! I think that being that it is indeed the 21st century.. there comes a point inthe relationship that I can get the door for myself and pull out my own chair... but its nice to know that there's a guy out there who is still willing to do that! for the first few dates... just do it... what it comes down to is that, we want to know that you care enough to offer... I am not unapprecitive... but when you don't do it... its kind of a "mark" in out book... idk.. after a while for me.. it just gets annoying.. but its nice to go to dinner and all the girls there are jealous cause our guy holds the door for us.. or pulls out our chair... ya know

I voted for it's a nice surprise because in this day and age, it doesn't happen anymore or rarely (the only 'man' that does it for me on a regular basis is my 73 y/o grandfather haha). So if a guy holds the door for me or pulls out my chair, it's a very nice surprise and after a moment blush I always say thanks.

It's nice when guys do open doors and all that stuff but no I don't really expect it.

no I don't really expect it from a guy, but I absolutely love it when they do. so yes, I appreciate it all the way. and hey, I keep the door open for anyone behind me too! I especially notice when kids do that for me though, its being polite and courteous to others:]

hell yes. because I'm very polite myself and get all dressed up and cute. I believe you treat people like how you want to be treated.

Well, I expect guys to have manners, but that's about it. I'll hold the door for people, too, and it sometimes annoys me that people will breeze by without thanking me or anything. But, when I think of chivalry, I think of paying for dates, escorting the girl to the door and from the door, and all those other things guys are somehow expected to do on dates. I mean, it's sweet every once in a while, but if a guy insists on being chivalrous all the time, even when the girl says no, then it's annoying.

I expect my guy to be nice. That doesn't mean I expect him to open every door for me, because it would eventually get really annoying. Doing it all the time can make a girl think that the guy finds her a bit helpless. That's just me, though. I can be very independant!

So, what now? You want special attention for having good manners?

Hang on a second. To Gotcha, you say that a smile isn't recognition and to ALWAYSclassy, you say that it is. So which is it? What are you really looking for as recognition?

I think you're idea of recognition is for the girl to invite you back to her place. You may stop doing it, but many more guys will always continue to do it because it's simply the polite thing to do.

Hold doors open because it's the polite thing to do, not because you expect to get something in return. You should always act like a gentlemen even if the girl isn't being a lady. And if she's not a lady then don't waste your time on her. I like it because not too many guys do that so when you come across one who does it's a nice surprise.

i would really like it if a guy held the door open for me and things like that... every time a guy does do that I kinda feel better about my day because I (in a way) feel like society is still taking the time to do subtle courtesies and I always thank the guy and give him a big smile XD

it's just very sweet; I don't expect it, but I would really appreciate it ... it shows he has been brought up to respect others (a very good trait to find)

also, if I was having the worst day ever and someone were to do something nice like open the door for me, I would be like the bad things that happened that day don't seem as bad (I don't mean if you know your grandma just die, someone opening a door is going to help, but just a gloomy day can be improved)

and if someone I was dating showed some chivalry, then he would be rewarded in some form later on (don't even go there... I was talking about making a special dinner or making out... don't go down the main vein so quick)

I'd like and expect him to open the door for me every time we enter a building together, but not necessarily for car doors and such. That's pretty much the only "chivalrous" act I expect.


Things that I like to see, maybe not every time because it could get old but opening car doors, especially if I'm wearing a nice dress, pulling out my chair when we go out, and just simple things like that. But there is a fine line between chivalry and belittling.

I expect people to be polite, but I don't think I'm entitled to chivalry.

My major is predominantly male (in one class, there are 5 girls and 19 guys). It's like being around so few girls brings out the gentleman in them, haha. And it's film/broadcast, so a lot of the stuff we do is hands-on, like dressing a set and setting up equipment. The guys are constantly offering to help the girls. I do appreciate them doing that, and quite frankly, I think it's cute.

But at the same time, I have guys running to help me so often that I wonder if they think I'm incapable of doing things myself. It kind of creates a feeling of inferiority. In that sense, I see where AlexandraGothGirl is coming from. I still appreciate the things they do, I think they just need to limit it a bit.

I am a little bit of both I guess. I expect it BUT I would NEVER say anything if he didn't. It's not something to argue or fight about. And I am not real picky either, if he doesn't do it every single time it doesn't bother me. But I am VERY aprreciative when he does do things like this. I don't take it for granted. AND I always open his door for him. After he lets me in the car I lean over and unlock his door and pop it open for him. I think it should go both ways and both should take care of each other.

There was one guy it irritated me with but he was really bad. It wasn't just doors and things. One day we left a park at the same time and planned to meet up at my house right after, we both were going straight there. I was there a half hour before him and when he finally showed he had stopped and got something to eat. Not only that but he got take out and brought it to my house. He only got himself something and didn't even ask if I wanted anything. He would do this all the time. I always carried my own, heavy bags and he never even offered to help. I didn't ever say anything or fight with him about it because to me it just wasn't worth it but tha'ts why I didn't continue dating him.

Its not that I feel I am entitled to chivalry, I'm entitled to respect.

I like when guys hold open doors for me. I don't see it as them undermining my capabilities, I see it as them trying to take care of me. I see many chivalrous things as just little ways of taking care of a girl.

C. Stop... I can open my own door just fine you chauvinist.

I'd be different if you were just opening doors for everyone, I'd assume you were a very nice mentally disabled person...but being obsessed with doing in for women and getting annoyed if they don't appreciate it is just creepy.

I think everyone is entitled to it, I think people should always hold the door open for someone (whether it's a girl,guy,animal lol.) its just good manners-i don't think "oh I'm a girl so someone should open the door for me", I think its rude if someone just lets the door slam into someones face.

i will always love it if a guy went that extra step to make me feel special.
i won't ever laugh at him or be rude..instead I would try to take an interest in what he likes

Yea I wonder this too.

I actually grew up in a really liberal part of colorado, and I was raised to do nice things for women, like hold open doors etc. I had to stop because girls kept getting f***ing totally weird about it, saying you don't need to do that for me I can do it myself, getting really feminist about it, and just basically taking it as an insult to their independance. So ya chivalry is dead to me and it was killed by those it was meant to help. Really really stupid.

I think that men should practice chivalry, as it is a respectful thing to do. And the respectful thing for girls is to say thank you. And I don't even think that it's limited to guys holding doors for girls... when you go through a door and see someone else coming, hold it open!

I most definitely agree with you on this, the problem is that these days some women feel like it's something they deserve right off the bat. In reality it's all based on the individual. I feel that a girl that carries herself like a true lady is the type of girl that deserves to get treated like one and those who carry themselves like a "hoe" "slut" etc.. will be treated like one. Respect is always earned not a given...

Personally I say hell no lol I'm playin but I have had my share of girls that won't even acknowledge that you opened the door or any of the things they complain about us not doing but I still do it anyway because that's how I was raised

I would always open a door for a women any chance I get, knowing them or not, but pulling a chair out just seems degrading for me, I try to separate what's the nice thing to do and what would or could seem embarrassing to her, I try to respect women but out of fear that I may seem like a chauvinist, I sometimes feel a mixed good/bad feeling buy just being polite. I blame all the mixed messages that are sent, by the women who try to be independent but can only be so when pointing out the different treatment being received to the more common person. If I'm out with a girl ill put it in my head that ill be opening the door for her, if I'm out with a guy then it will be a cross with I should open the door or just walk in, because of the mixed thoughts of being respectful or because I don't have to so why do it. If people could get a grasp on what women want or what women don't want, people could get on with their lives.

No one is entitled to anything, but I date girls who are entitled to it and I love doing chivalrous things.

all think all men should

C. Manners of a Gentleman should be required at all time in all situations, regardless the gender of the company being kept.

I grew up in a time when everyone held the door open for everyone else, it wasn't degrading to anyone; because we had all learned that "he who is servant to all is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven !

It was instilled in me at an early age to treat others as I WANTED to be treated; which meant respectfully, with honour, polite demeanor, with Class !

I leared to say things like, "yes maam; no maam; yes sir; no sir; THANK YOU; and PLEASE...". I was also taught to respect ANYONE older than me because they were my elder( adult/mature), it didn't matter if I was at the park or church or public library, if someone told me to be quiet or mind my manners I had to do it and it taught me a LIFE LESSON. Also if I was at church or school and acted up, I could expect someone I didn't even know to swat my behind and straighten me out !

These thing are what made the 40's-70's so special, because kids were not only polite they understood that everybody has to be polite which is the original PC !

Part of ROMANCE was a guy who respected a girl so much that he would treat her like Her Royal Majesty The Queen and would go before her holding doors, pulling out chairs, taking a coat and hat, offing the napkin. The guys would always have a handkerchief or wear or carry a jacket just in-case the girl got cold and needed it. In my day we carried Spearmint gum or lifesavers and had a Kleenex dispenser and lighted vanity mirror in our car or truck.
Even if he needed it and she was cold he gave up his jacket. If you watch some old AMC or TCM movies you see those scenes quite often and if you go back to the Cowboy days when all the streets were dirt and mud the guys would lay their duster out for the lady to walk on.

NEVER ever has it been about disrespect or be-littling in any way, and the real feminist know that, because that was the one respect they all got from everyman already and never wanted it to go away, they just wanted equal pay for equal work.

I wish in this time of change all the women in America would make every man treat her with RESPECT, maybe we could have good times again and people would be polite and wouldn't have to worry about what's PC.

You hold open doors and pull out chairs because its fun, or because girls show appreciation? I agree, it kinda irks me when a woman just blows bye me after I do something nice for her. However, 2 wrongs don't make a right. Just because she is not being polite does not affect my politeness. My father taught me to have manners because that's part of being a man. Not because its fun or because someone makes me feel good after I do something for them. I mean, if not smacking your wife isn't fun anymore, are you just going to start hitting her because that funner then not hitting her?

Wt dude, I expect more out of a guy your age, this sounds like some dumb shit a 16 year old douche-bag would bring up. I agree with xxangel though, manners are manners and should apply to everyone no matter what the sex. However, I was raised to go the extra mile for females, they are females and they ARE entitled to this behavior. If I had your attitude about it both my Father and Mother would whip my ass til it didn't hold water. And I haven't lived at home for 6 years, have my own wife and kids. I was also raised to respect my elders, but when your 80, have all grey hair, can't walk or open your own door, ill only respect you if you respect me back. WTF is up with guys today? Its guys like you that make this kinda behavior out of date today, and it shouldnt be. Mannors are mannors. Retarded, selfish thinking from you man, I know why you asked anonymously

Expecting recognition for polite behaviour is tacky.