I've been close friends with this guy for 3 yrs. We have the same friends & used 2 work together. It started off w/us hooking up once or twice when we were really drunk over a yr period, but I was dating someone else.
Once my last bf moved away my "friend" & I started to hook up more regularly. It started with once a month, then once a week, then 2 - 3 times a week.
A lot of our friends began to question whether or not we were boyfriend/girlfriend but we NEVER talked about it. The thing is that it started off "just sex". I told him that I didn't want anything more but the more time I spent with him, I started to develop feelings.
It went from only hooking up when we were drunk sober love making and cuddling, kissing, and hand holding. After our first official date I spent the night, we had amazing morning sex and he passionately kissed me goodbye. since then, he's been pulling away. it's so frustrating!
He told a good friend of ours that he really liked me, could picture himself with me & that I would make a really good girlfriend but that he didn't want a girlfriend right now, he liked the way this are. Since she told me this he has been pulling away which has made me start pulling back as well.
We haven't slept together in over a month, I haven't been able to get him alone. He still acts like he likes me but he never takes initiative to spend time with me. I feel like it's over but I don't want it to be. What should I do? How do I get him back?
Hypothetically, the only way to get him back now is to tell him that you want to go back to the way it was. But, you know you want the real thing.
He knows you want a real relationship now, so, the possibility of FWB is gone. Only if he decides he wants a real relationship will you be with him again. It's unfortunate, but that's just how it is.
It sounds like he just wanted to be friends with benefits, and as soon as you started to get serious he backed off. I think he was probably just in it for the sex, and if you want to get him back you would have to start with going out on a real date. If he doesn't want to go out on a date or spend time with you, then he probably did just want the sex, and you should just try to forget about him and move on. I know that's probably not the answer you wanted but sometimes guys just like the sex, and they don't want to get emotionally attached.
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