Why do people think I am a stuck up bitch?

Question

While I'm actually just shy and more introverted. I might not interact with a lot of people but that's not because I think I'm better than them rather the opposite. I feel like they won't be interested in me so I don't bother them.

But apparently this makes me a stuck up bitch? I don't get it, what is wrong with being not so talkative? How can I change their opinion?

AlwaysBelieving · Accepted Answer

OMG, I can't believe I'm going to write this "long a55'd thing".

Anyways, are you being called a "stuck up bitch" in general or just towards men? There is a difference. As "WIJG" said, being called that by men just might mean that they can't get in your pants right away (ok, within the first 3 dates).

If it's in general, you might be "off putting". You're an attractive girl, and since you're shy, that might make you seem "distant" and "cold" (I've been guilty of this as well). Body language can say a lot even though we see / feel / think otherwise. While I don't think it's necessary to smile all the time as another poster put it, I think it IS NECESSARY to "lower your defenses" . This is not to say to wear heart on your sleeve, but to be more open to people (ok, that part is difficult to explain). Just be willing to say what's on your mind about the weather / the day / life in general and try to make it positive.

A lot of people think they'll not be interesting to the other person. The trick I've found (ok, I read it in a book) is that "to be interesting, be interested". This means to ask more questions about the other person than you speak, and rather than think about what to say next, focus on the conversation at hand. Another point is that you've also got to remember that not all conversation can be "earth shattering". As "an extrovert with introvert tenancies", I do have to make a conscious effort to talk to people more just to be friendly.

Ok, this wasn't as long as I thought, but it's still early. :P

WhoisJohnGalt · Accepted Answer

Well, I think there is one of two things that might be going on.

1) Guys figure if they can't get into a girls pants right away, they are a stuck up bitch (some do)

2) Sometimes it's body language. There is a difference between being not talkative and just looking bored and uncaring. I am personally more of an introvert, and have trouble meeting people. (Killer since I JUST moved and the few people I did know and care for are hundreds of miles away)

I guess all I can say, is the cheesy adage, just be yourself. If a guy is a social butterfly, or is looking for a social butterfly, don't feel the need to change who you are for them, because it becomes a pain to continue putting on the persona.

You'll probably meet a guy who appreciates a quieter gal. You look pretty (At least from your default) So don't feel bad being picky

caligirl3 · Accepted Answer

I have been called stuck up and bitchy too. I am a tad bitchy I will be the first one to admit it, cause when I see something that's wrong I will express how I fell. Like in high school we were a gang of 5 people, and then I learned that 3 of them talked about one of the girls in the gang I was the closest too, so I cut all those 3 people out of my life and I know they called me stuck up and a bitch for ignoring them rest of our high school years. But if you are friends you shouldn't bully and talk about someone in a negative way behind their backs or to their faces. Plus the rest of the class thought I was a bitch for not liking another girl in our class, who was socially retarded and she had offended me many times and she disagreed to anything you said just for the hell of it, so I ignored her too and everyone thought I bullied the girl and yet they talked about her when she wasn't in the room about how weird she was. So I guess when you act cold towards some people no matter what the reason is they think you are stuck up, plus they judge you one what you wear, how you carry yourself and if you are a preppy girl like me then its a given that you are stuck up according to others. But I rather be seen as stuck up then fake and neither should you, my advice is don't ever change, they are the ones with the problems

calialltheway1993 · Accepted Answer

*High five* ------- I've been called that by almost every person, now friend, I've known. They tell me that my face expressions, what I wear, and look at people, make me look like a stuck up b*tch... and I'm totally opposite of all that. Anyway, You don't need to change anyone's opinion, THEY need to change their opinion and know you for you. They shouldn't be judging a book by it;s cover.

eaeaea · Accepted Answer

That's my case too. People get the same impression of me. Oh well, I don't care much how I'm perceived for the most part. I'm a nice person but If other people can't see past their judgmental assumptions why should I bother to prove them otherwise. Not worth it in my opinion.

FlaggLives · Answer

I've noticed that's a big misconception, especially if a girl or a guy is attractive instead of being labeled as shy people just assume that they're stuck up. Most people figure that an attractive girl like you wouldn't need to be shy because they think being a social butterfly comes easy to a good looking person, but that's just a generalization. Everyone is different in terms of personality regardless of what they look like, and you can't help that you're shy.

One piece of advice I would give you is try and smile more. Offer people polite smiles at work, school, whatever you do in life, and it'll give off the vibe that you're not a cold person, you're actually a warm person that's approachable. I only make the mistake of thinking a girl is stuck up bitch if she walks by and has a frigid, unsmiling look on her face, but if you offer smiles easily and freely, it'll give off more of a warm, friendly vibe.

Bleep · Answer

It's body language, you subconsciously posture and give off the vibe of "don't bother me" because you try to avoid others because you think you're not interesting.

I used to sometimes have a frown on my face when I got deep in thoughts, when I finally made the connection when I heard a lot of "are you mad at me?" or "why do you always look so pissed?" I became conscious of what I was doing and worked on my body language.

I don't give off the "i'm pissed" vibe anymore unless I really mean it, hahaha.

CasaNorba · Answer

BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Lol! no I'm just messing with you... anyways, I have the same problem as you. I don't interact with people either since here where I live is the home of the losers and followers. so because of that people overestimate my ego. so I guess in your case is that you are obviously strong and don't need anybody, so since most people are weak they will label you those types of things just to flip the heat on you and make you feel inferior, when in reality is them who are inferior; since they got the need to interact with everyone in order to fit in, get peoples approval, and become popular, etc. but F them! I say just keep being yourself. they say, "ITS WHEN THEY ARENT TALKING THAT YOU SHOULD WORRY"

Sam33r · Answer

MissNobody, being not talkative is fine but being rude or not reverting with the normal courtesy is not. This could make you come out as arrogant, rude & insensitive person!

BTW go out venture a little, we are all somewhat extrovert & introvert, just need to know when to switch these modes!

AndyTheG · Answer

Someone I know had this problem too.  She was beautiful but very shy, and people would talk to her and think she just didn't want to talk when actually it was because she was introverted.  Being shy is not wrong, but if someone has gone out of their way to speak to you, I think you should be kind and attempt to carry the conversation forward.

VALEN_tine_ANGEL · Answer

those people have negative thinking toward anyone who is not talkactive. probably because you are rare to see in your community. but you are not wrong at all. as long as you are a good person and you don't bother anyone else then there is no reason for people to give you bad names.

ashtonm · Answer

I totally get you. I'm naturally a loner. I just prefer to be alone. People take it the wrong way all the time and think I'm "cocky" or I think I'm better than everybody else. Couldn't be further from the truth.

People are gonna judge regardless, just gotta control what you can.

enigmatta · Answer

give people time to know you. This happens to me, but the more people get to know me, the more their impression changes. It is nice that after a couple of years of hanging out with friends, they tell me that they thought I was rude, bitchy, and scary, but once they got to know me, I'm one of the sweetest people they've met. I wouldn't like to consider myself sweet.. but that's another thing.

Give them time ;) (if you care about them, if you don't, then why bother?)

Freetobe007 · Answer

Hmmm idk, it could be because you stay away from others, due to your shyness, but because you're so pretty, they percieve it as you thinking that you're too good to "bless them with your presence" lol

Change their opinion by being really friendly with tem and maybe even making a little joke in the convo like "Yeah, I'm shy"

BlueSJ · Answer

There's nothing wrong with it.

But being moderate is the best.

It's fine if you're not talkative.

But people like the person who interacts with them and listens to them.

At least do that. You don't need to be talkative.

But at least listen to people, socialize with them.

It's good for you and for building your personality too. ^_^

XNicholex3 · Answer

Yep, I got that too a lot in high school. I wasn't so talkative during class (your not suppose to be) and I didn't really smile all the time (am I suppose to smile ALL the time?). So once I figured out that was "my" problem (really, it's their problem) I tried to talk and smile more, and to my amazement, I was no longer a stuck up bitch.

Fantastic right? -.-

LonelyandInTheDark · Answer

people are superficial, most probably because of your appearance.

tone it down and don't wear too much makeup.

i have the opposite dilemma-people assume I'm too sweet and nice even before getting to know me. -_-, not like that's a bad thing or anything, but it's bothersome at times.

luzianne555 · Answer

Hah. I'm introverted and people who don't know me think I'm an a**hole because of it.  Not a f*** is given.  Good luck changing their opinions though

veronica12 · Answer

i get you, thing is that the fact that you're pretty makes it 1727626363 times worse. if you were ugly people wouldn't be saying that. try to smile more start that way. Same thing happens to me all the time.

Anonymous · Answer

People interpret things way too differently especially if they're not familiar with your kind of traits. I don't think you're being stuck up.

You can also say other things about other than make them seem more negative than they really are. I think it's merely an exaggeration just move on. I honestly don't think you seem stuck up at all. my opinion though..yes everyone has their own opinions.

lilsis909 · Answer

I have the same issue. You might just have a mean looking neutral face so people take it that way. Try smiling instead of having a blank face so people can tell that you aren't angry or aggressive.

youllthinkofme · Answer

I have the exact same problem! Everyone who doesn't know me too well, thinks I'm standoffish, a bitch, or that I think I'm too good. I just don't know what to say around people I don't know well.

Opalivian · Answer

Your looks can deceive but personality cannot. Push away the bad. Continue with the ones who want to know you.

Moloch · Answer

Because introverted people tend to look mad all the time because they're deep in their thoughts.  I'm guilty of this as well.

sfauo · Answer

People are just too quick to assume, and end up usually being completely wrong.

Why do people think I am a stuck up bitch?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do people think I am a stuck up bitch?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.