Help! My boyfriend is a great guy and all but I think he is being too nice...and the worst part is he knows it! I can't stand it and its bothering the shit of me.
For an example, last weekend we went out to dinner/club for a friend's birthday party. Well while at dinner, he was sitting by a girl...of course he draws up a conversation because he feel bad for her...okay I don't mind that...just being friendly...but then she starts asking to try his food and taste his beer...and of course he lets her??? To me that is crossing the line...what happen if she had coodies or something you know what I mean?
Then when we were at the club, while standing by me...all he can think of his "what is her name"???? and then he goes...i think she needs a drink so I'm going to buy her one.." and off he goes. What kind of shit is that???
I know guys like to be nice and all, but when you put a girl first that you don't even know that is just straight up wrong. And worst, later in the night he was dancing with her and couple of other people rather than dancing with me. I don't really care if he flirts and all but in my eyes, he present himself like he is the bitch to these girls. It makes me feel disgusted like I am sharing my boyfriend with every girl he encounter. And to top off the night, while walking to our car, he give a girl a piggy back ride...and then when he was done..he freaking try to jump on me for a piggy ride??? what the heck..he give a chick a ride instead of his own girlfriend and then he had the nerve to jump on my back...errrrr
This is not the first time we had this argument. Like I mention before in my previous questions...we have been best friend for 11 years...and I know how he is...that is why I never was interested in him, but last summer he came out with that he likes me and all. So right now I'm giving myself and him a chance to hook up. I know you have to accept someone for the person he or she is but what he is doing is just wrong in my eyes. I try to accept but every time I see this kind of shit I can't hold my anger inside. I confront him and all he said is..."yeah, its a bad personality trait...I don't really know why I do it...maybe I feel OBLIGATED to do it"....????
The only thing I can think of is breaking it off, but I really like the guy now..ahhhh...I'm so frustrated. I mean am I wrong for seeing it this way or what?? His birthday party is this weekend and I don't want to go because I know how he going to be...all over his girlfriends and act like a bitch to them. Guys..what do you think? what normally is an OK thing to do and what is not for a "nice" guy?
When I first read your question, I thought you were perturbed because he was being too nice to you.....but this guy is being overly nice to other girls....gotcha. It appears, from your story, that you are not receiving any of these "nice" gestures.
Being nice to others is a great trait to have, but not at the expense of only being nice to others and not your girlfriend. You say that you have been friends for 11 years....if his behavior with others was the same before you became a couple, then it appears that he still thinks you're just friends. Let him know that, as a couple, his niceness belongs to you now. That doesn't mean that he can't continue to be nice to others, but it does mean that he needs to be more discerning in passing that niceness out.
If he can't do that, then go back to being friends....it sounds like he may have found a FWB relationship with you.
You say you have known him for 11 years, and you know how he is----does that mean then that he has done the same thing before? And by that, I mean---does he go to random girls and then tries to be nice to them as you described on the post?
I've met a lot of 'nice' guys, and I must say, that I never heard of this type of behavior when a nice guy has a gf.....So to be honest, I'm kind of doubting the reason as to why he is acting that way. His actions are completely contradicting what nice guys supposedly do. That's why nice guys are nice guys, cause they don't go around causing trouble, right? So in short, I would say that what your so called nice bf is doing is completely wrong. Now, there is nothing wrong with going to a girl that is sitting by herself at a party and talking to her. But yes, letting her taste your food, beer, etc, specially when there is a gf around, that is definitely crossing the line. Matter of fact, I would call that having no respect for the gf.
Since you asked however----an ok thing to do would be sure, go socialize with females, but leave it at that: Socialization. Now, if these were girls that he knew from before and they were his female friends for a while, then I would be more lenient about it cause maybe they have a 'brother/sister' like relationship; however, to do it with somebody you just met is not cool at all.... Seems to me that as much as you like the guy, and since he is not willing to stop his 'flirtatious' socializations, then maybe is time to consider moving on. Unfortunately in today's world, people have no respect for relationships, and I wouldn't be surprised if one of these girls seizes the opportunity to rape your 'nice' guy; and because he is too nice, I'm sure he will not do too much to defend himself! :)
Yup, he has always been like that and I think I'm the only one that had the guts to point it out to him. I agree with you on the rape part and the no respect. Its the third time we had this fight. should I give him one more chance or call it quits? - 7 months ago
Answerer
Call it quits. His personality is having an impact in the relationship, and if he's not willing to change or improve it, most likely is not going to change. Best to cut your losses now, before is too late. Find yourself the right guy that will respect u! - 7 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
I don't think he's being nice at all hunni I think he's plane out taking flirting to a new extreme by flaunting it in your face!!in my opinion but I suppose I'd have to be around him to know for sure.
Sorry but that is disrepectful to you. How would he react if the tables were turned? But, you can only take so much and it looks like you are there. He knows its a bad trait, then he should watch it when you are out. It's called repsect for your girlfriend.
I'm a nice guy, I like to open doors, pay for dinner, give massages and all that, does this end up hurting me in the long run my friends say women...
View Answers
So I was hanging with my friend Anthony and I was like, "You know, I've never had a bf." And he was like "really?" and I was like "yah, why do you...
View Answers
What is your favorite outfit for a night out with friends?
Umm, depends where I'm going, I mostly go to rock clubs so wear something small and sexy (might as well whilst I'm young enough to get away with it!) Probably a pair of tight jeans ripped slashed across the bum and thigh and a colourful halter neck top, with some leather wrist cuffs and some big heeled boots.
How do you style your hair and do your make-up?
My hair is white blonde and usually an array of different colours. Its short at the back, and generally spikey or flicked out. My eye make up is really the only kind of make up I use, and tend to match the colour and eye liner to what I'm wearing ! wooo.
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 7 months ago
Site Links
About GirlsAskGuys
GirlsAskGuys Widgets
Help Us Improve!
