Why are woman so obsessed with guys having good manners?

it shows you have respect for her, and you value her.

its not degrading, I mean it just shows you have respect, you don't need to pay every time or all of that, but every once in a while its nice.

I don't mind it but then again if its something I can do then ill do it. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years and well he still does the whole nice guy thing and of course I thank him. But I try to do my share in paying for our dates and all that lovey dovey stuff. As long as he has done this I still don't care to much for it. But it does put a smile on my face.

You shouldn't find it superficial-the girl shouldn't ever want the guy to feel degraded, so if you feel that way, it probably isn't good. Girls find it really nice of a guy to every so often be a little old-fashioned and open the door for them and pay for the date. Not all the time, but it's attractive. And honestly, most girls would rather not be kissed up to, a suck-up can be annoying. It's just that girls love it when guys are really considerate, even if it's just every so often they carry the luggage, and we really value good manners. It's just important, especially for a first impression.

I believe its a total 1st impression. You want to be nice and show a bit of manners and not present yourself as a total pig! However you're right. The stereotypical ways in which men "must" treat women do take it a bit far. It is nice though to get treated like this on special occasions, however as all guys are human, its ok not to be a total suck up. I like a guy who lets me do my own thing but is polite and makes me feel good. Manners are not the only way to do this!

Honest to god. I think that it is very old fashioned and sexist for girls to expect a guy to do those things. Some are ok, like holding doors open, but really, opening a door for a girl? I have hands, and I can't help but find it demeaning when a guy does this, despite the fact that his intentions are good. Not all girls expect this, by the way.

It goes both ways. just think of the golden rule,
"Treat others how you want to be treated."
If you treat your girl good, she'll treat you good. If she treats you bad anyway, she isn't someone you want to be with.

Because we have to push the babies out of our hoohas, the least you can do is open a damn door! Just kidding ;)

Manners are not degrading, in fact they're the opposite. If anything, I would say that acting like a gentleman makes you look like a nice guy, rather than looking subservient. Suppose you saw a couple on a date: the guy just lets the door slam in the girl's face. What do you think of that guy? You think he's a total asshole. Sure, she could get the door by herself, or carry the luggage, but why let her struggle when you could do it with more ease?

The point of having manners is that males are the stronger sex, the supposedly dominant sex, but choosing to be humble and gentle towards the females.

Trust me when I say that you won't be scoring anytime soon if you're making women pay for dinner.

It depends on what you mean by manners. I mean, for me, I want to know that a guy isn't going to embarrass me somewhere, because I am extremely self-conscious and if the guy (or really, anyone I was with) did something really inappropriate I would just about die.

paying for dates. That depends on the girl and the guy. I certainly don't expect my boyfriend to pick up the tab all of the time, but he really wants to most of the time. I'll try to get him to let me pay sometimes (we're both students, but I'm a grad student with an assistantship so I've got a bit more income), but I'm not going to force him to let me pay.

opening the car door. My guess would be that that tradition came from when it was all women could do to get in the vehicle and get their dress in and keep it from getting caught in the door. Honestly, I get kind of confused by the car door thing, and I'm always paranoid I'm going to get caught in the door. So, really, I think most of the time, when the door opening is actually expected, it's because either the girl's holding something delicate, or trying to keep a poufy dress out of the door or something. I don't know that I've every met anyone who actually expected the guy to open the car door.

carrying luggage, several other people have mentioned. I'm very small, and I would appreciate help. You mentioned in another comment that you'd help anyone with large/heavy luggage. So why wouldn't your girl (who should hypothetically be more important to you) get help?

and for kissing up. Those are the girls who have grown up with the world revolving around them. We want to know that you think we're special, but we also want it to be genuine. What's expected is going to be as superficial as the girl. I certainly wouldn't want a guy who just agrees with everything I say, or something like that. But I want to know that he's with me for some reason other than that I was the best he could get, or because he just wanted someone to be his little model woman-in-the-kitchen.

does this answer your question?

I think like some of the other posters here: If you ask; You pay. Guy OR gal. It's only fair. Surprisingly, some guys feel demasculated by this. I don't expect a man to open my car door or carry my luggage. I also don't expect a man to hold a door for me. However, male OR female, I also don't appreciate it if you let a door go, shutting in my face, if I am right behind you. Common courtesy should tell you to hold the door for the person behind you. Pet peeve. Sorry...

While I don't expect a man to do those things, I really appreciate it when it happens. It makes me feel special. It's as if he really cares about me.

Good manners have always been akin to intelligence. That may be silly to some, but it conveys forethought/thoughtfulness as far as I'm concerned. Plus, good manners can go both ways.

Girls from young ages learn from movies, moms, literary books that men have to be brave and courteous and respect women and help them. because of this many girls expect guys to be their prince charming and act the same way, well some girls are just obsessed with that but most guys are either disrespectful or are 50% courteous, most of the girls don;t really see the reality of it

I will answer this one. Because since the beginning of time, most real men, who respect women do courteous things for them. Real men have manners. They take care of their women. From some of your questions it would appear you hate women and issues you might want to get help for.

It's consider gentlemanly to behave properly at the dinner table or out on a date. They don't want to be around the every day sludge bucket that goes out to the clubs and treats his dates like like his buddies that they shove and punch, smack, ect. We don't really like to see a guy bending over his food and slurping it up or snot and spit on the ground. It's not very pleasant. Why do guys want girls to have good manners? Why can't we be a sludge that sit at home and plays video games? Because it's not graceful, sexy, proper. The same things apply to men as they do woman. It's attractive to us to have a man that is gentlemanly and we LOVE it. We can say our guy treats us like a treasure to our friends and in return we'll treat properly as well. ((does that help))

ALWAYS paying for a date is not necessary. Of course the first couple of times because that's just how it is. What's wrong with holding the door open for a woman? I call that kind of stuff being a gentleman. I don't understand why you have a problem with that kind of stuff. As far as kissing up to the girl all the time, most women don't even like a guy that can't hold his own. Sounds to me like you're dating the wrong type of women.