Boring Boring Boring Guy!

Question

Has anyone ever had someone that is interested in them and they are so boring? They call and you would rather have a root canal then talk to them? A guy is interested in me, finally I can talk about someone besides the Jerk. I thought wow, I can maybe like this guy and we can be friends. But he is so boring. I have to do all the talking and bring up every subject. I can talk mind you and I do give him the opportunity to talk, but he has no life. Have any of you had this happen and what did you do? He is a nice guy but he has the personality of a wet mop. Who am I kidding the mop has more. Advice Please.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

He's just scared. Show him that you like him in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS and he will change. He's terrified of screwing it up so he plays it safe. Unfortunately, this is the very thing that always kills it for him. He has probably never had a positive experience with a girl and doesn't know how to proceed. It has to be CLEAR to him that you like him. Not "obvious", because he probably doesn't have the experience to know what the "obvious" signs of attraction are.

It is possible for a perfectly normal person to have the misfortune of never having a positive experience with the opposite sex. It only takes 2-3 traumatic, painful rejections as a kid to develop a shutdown response in the presence of the opposite sex. Once someone associates the feeling of attraction with pain and ridicule, it is INTENSELY difficult to reverse.

Don't expect him to do all the things you're used to most guys doing, because he never learned. TEACH HIM!

lovebird01 · Accepted Answer

Well, the only advice I can give you on this one is to cease all communication with him and move on. He may be a nice guy, but it sounds like has a fatal personality flaw. One that you can't change. There is no way you will be happy with this guy, so move on to someone else. That's way too much work for him to put on you to establish the relationship. You've heard the expression "pushing a chain"? That's what you are doing here. Don't waste your time. You can do better! I'm glad the Jerk is finally fading to the background in your mind. That means you are healing emotionally, and that's what its all about. Healing, and moving on to something better!

April · Accepted Answer

I used to talk to a guy who was like that. I would have rather stabbed myself in the eye with a dull spork! It was just painful because we didn't have give/take conversations. I'd ask a question and I was lucky if I got a sentence. He was just always so vague. Not because he was hiding anything. He just was kind of boring. Hah! Eventually I stopped calling and whenever he'd call me I'd just say it was really great hearing from him but was busy so I needed to go. We hung out a few times and conversation was a little better in person, but the spark just wasn't there for me so I finally said, you're great, but we don't have a lot in common, we should just be friends. To this day we randomly stay in touch and that was at least 10 years ago. One 5 minute conversation every year and a half is about all we need to cover what he's been up to :)  Have fun with that root canal. Err. I mean phone conversation!

tangiblestar · Accepted Answer

I just went through this a few weeks ago and had to end it. thank God, I was miserable almost the entire time and had to end it. life's too short to be doing things like that that you don't want to do or to be around people that don't stimulate you at all. I feel like I could have written this question myself! but anyway, I had a similar guy and finally I just went to him and said that we were better off as friends and now we don't talk at all but it's so much better now and I'm a lot happier because I no longer have to keep that charade going. best of luck!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Oh my goodness! This is sooo funny! I'm in the same situation right now! The guy I'm seeing wasn't boring at first, then after we officially started our relationship, everything just went down hill. I really find myself having nothing to say to him. It sucks, because we used to talk a lot in the beginning, now its just to the point when he calls, I tell him I'm too sleepy and I'm taking a nap or I'm going to bed for the night. And this is at 9pm. Hahaha!. Maybe someone can help me out here while they help you!. Good luck with the wet mop. =D

PhilHarmonic2040 · Answer

This is kind of like someone who travels a lot is dating someone who stayed in their hometown their whole life, the discussion will be so off at sometimes it seems like it is just hard to drag some common points of interest up for topic of conversation.

kiamia · Answer

Yeah, I agree with the previous answers, there is nothing you can do to change that guy, he is just not passionate about life and you would go crazy trying to spark him up and still wouldn't work.

SoConfusedx3 · Answer

Ya I know exactly the type of guy you're talking about. I've got some of those before. Don't even bother with him. For real. He's just not your type you can get someone so much better. And don't worry about hurting him. He can find a girl that's just as dull as him. And then they will both be comfortable with each other. I've seen it happen. You should look for someone that is more outgoing like you. Don't waste your time.

Boring Boring Boring Guy!

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