I will try to make this short cause it's a long story we've known each other 14 years, dated 3 he thought all I cared about was getting a ring which wasn't the case and because he thought that he would freak out about marriage but he did bring it up to people so I have heard and said I was the girl he was going to marry and even picked the wedding song out with me. He works a lot so we only see each other 2-3 days a week which I admit I complained about from time to time but he saw no problem in just seeing each other 2 days a week. He came on a work trip with me a family vacation etc always told me he loved me. Last week he comes out and says we need to talk we should break up of course I started to cry not expecting this and he started to get mean yelling he never wants to get married, he doesn't love me, he doesn't want a girlfriend etc. Some of this of course I don't believe but at this point with how I am feeling its hard not to. I want him back, I emailed him once 4 days later got the you deserve better reply and the I had to do what right reply and asked 3 times to be friends and was mean when I said I couldn't be. Since that I sent one other email and text him once and received no reply. What do you all think? Did he get cold feet? Does he not love me? Why be friends? Oh btw he is a stubborn guy who likes to feel is in charge so because I that I fear he will never call and because we only saw each other 2 days a week I can't see how he would miss anything even though we did talk and text everyday I need advice.
Honey. That would be hard I know you have known him a long time. But don't try and be with someone who doesn't want to waste their time on you. Let him be. Eventually he may come to his senses but he won't if you are constantly contacting him letting him know " you are still there".
Saying "you deserve better" is a cowardly and arrogant thing to say during a break-up. It implies that you can't decide for yourself who you want to spend your life with. It's also pretty self-indulgent, because it's usually an opening for you to tell him how great he is.
It's possible that he got cold feet, or that he has made a decision that he doesn't want marriage and knows (or believes) that you do. He should have discussed all of this with you, and given you the opportunity to tell him your side, rather than just dumping you and running out.
I would give him some time to think. Ask you closest girlfriends to support you while you go through this tough time, and do some fun, girly things together. Get a facial, have a slumber party, do some things that won't remind you of him and will take your mind off it all for a while.
If he hasn't contacted you after a couple of weeks, you could try calling him and telling him you want to talk (if you still want to that is). Remember that he may be playing games with you, which will only work if you let it.
Break-ups are never easy, especially when it comes out of the blue and there seems to be no reason behind it. Just take some time for yourself and let him have his little hissy fit. He may come back to you, he may not, but the important thing for you right now is to look after yourself.
He was right about one thing; you DO deserve better than this. Better than to be dumped without an explanation.
Thanks for the good response. I am just so confused, I am holding onto hope and I know I shouldn't but its hard not to. I keep telling myself he is just scared but how long does it take for a guy not to be scared anymore. - More than a year ago
Question Asker
I am scared he won't ever call. I emailed twice got one short and sweet text message you deserve better I had to do what was right blah blah and I also have text him twice since then one saying I miss him and nothing why won't he even talk or text me - More than a year ago
Answerer
I know what you mean. It's so hard to resist constantly calling, texting and emailing, but try as hard as you can to resist the urge. The more you push, the more he will back away. - More than a year ago
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