My boyfriend (of 10 months) broke up w/me about 5 days ago & between Tuesday and today (Sunday), I've been trying to either change his mind and take me back, convince him into going on a break, or actually cutting off all ties. He's been confusing me for the past 4 days because he would still call me, ask to see me, and flirt with me.
And from my past experiences I've learned that a break up is when you cut off ALL possible communication with your ex so you can get over them and if it's possible then be friends later on in the future, am I right? So I was going INSANE from the way my ex was treating me. This was his first serious relationship and he's a year younger than me and a little ignorant about what he has to do as a boyfriend but it was okay because I had a chance to "mold" him.
So anyway, we hung out yesterday and I had ANOTHER serious talk about this whole "break up thing" this was like my 4th freaking attempt. OMG -. - and I explained the difference of a break and a break up and then I asked what he wanted. And that the answer he was going to give me would finalize everything. He told me that he wants to get over me (UGH -. -) when he isn't alone but when he is, he gets lonely and realizes that he has no one to turn to since I was the only person he was ever close to. He also told me that he missed hanging with his boys and actually being part of their conversations instead of feeling left out all the time like before when he was with me.
So he said a break still sounded like a BREAK UP to him. I don't know why? But he chose a break and we both agreed. And NOW since I've never been in a "break" I just don't know what to do?! He said that over the spring break, he's gonna have fun with his guy friends and would love the idea of seeing/hanging with me if I'm okay with it. He also said that he'll still call but not as much as before when we were together. He also said that "technically" we're still together as a couple but we're not going to do what other couples do like kiss and hold each other but just see each other as "good friends". And just because we're on a break, doesn't mean that he's going to look for someone new but if it DOES happen then it happens (i hated that one the most! )
He told me that he never did want to be with another girl- and even if we're broken up he still feels that way but the reason why we're like this now is because he wants to know if we're really "meant to be together" (my boyfriend is really religious) and if that was what God wants. I feel the same way too and so I told him that I will still be committed and faithful and I won't get over him. I just don't know what to do now. What should I do while we're on a break? And how can I make him realize that this was a mistake and that we're really meant to be together? Besides having "a serious talk" with him because I think I've done enough of that already. I just want to know about my future actions and how I should treat him and everything else dealing with us.
If he started bringing "GOD" into the relationship, forget it, his relationship is with you, not with what science replaced. He's such a complete liar - He just wants sleep around during spring break.
Tell him you never want to see/talk to him again - if he doesn't like that, tell him to go pray to "GOD" to get it changed - haha
This guy is not good for you and he doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't know that you are a human being and he's definitely not treating you like you are human. Forget any religious bullshit he told you (there is nothing wrong with being religious), but anything he told you was bullshit. He said he doesn't know if you two are "meant to be together," and he doesn't know "if that's what God wants. " That is complete bullshit. I can tell you right now, you two are not meant to be together. If he doesn't know if you are meant to be together, then you're automatically not. If you are meant to be together, then both of you would agree on that without a doubt (which is not your case). That statement about not knowing what God wants is total crap. How can he know what God wants? He will never get a "sign from God" or something like that (don't take me wrong; I am not insulting God). But God does not work that way. God teaches humans what love truly is and he teaches humans how to recognize love when they see it. There is not love coming from him. He has no love for you, because he is not putting you above himself. Love is putting others above one's self.
The fact that he said (and you hated the most) that if he finds another girl then that's what happens, means you are not a valuable treasure to him. The fact that he said that means he is treating you like you are a disposable commodity and you are replaceable. That is not the attitude a gentleman will have. This is also proof he doesn't love you. The fact that he said he wants a "break" and not a "break up" means that he wants to try to find a "better girl," but if he can't, he has you to fall back on. That is exactly what he is doing: treating you as if you are a replaceable commodity. You are not a human being to him. In fact, he admitted to not being faithful to you, because he said if he finds another girl, then it happens and so be it. He is not good for you. This bullshit he gives you about "taking a break" versus "breaking up" is exactly that: bullshit. Like I said, he actually wants to find another girl if he can, but if he can't he'll go back to you. That is not right.
If he wanted to hang out with his friends because he was spending too much time with you; that's OK. He can just say, "I want to spend the day or a few days with my buddies," and he should be completely honest about it. And then he should have said, "I'll be back in a few days," and that's it. But he wanted to keep his options open for finding other girls. That's why he said he wants a "break. "
He said he "never wanted to be with another girl. " That might be true because he hasn't met a so called "better girl" yet. But at the same time he wants to keep his options open in case he stumbles across one. He is not treating you as if you are his one-and-only. Real men know when they have found true love, and they don't need to keep their options open to find her!
(Age:18 to 24)
When: 8 months ago
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