Ive posted this before as an anonymous user but I never really got much advice or opinions about it so I thought Id ask it again just for the heck of it.
My boyfriend broke up with me January 21st after being together for almost 3 years. We took things really slow & he finally kissed me for the first time (1st kiss ever for us both) on Jan 6th & he started it & it lasted a few minutes & he seemed to like it. He said later that it made him uneasy & he didn't think he wanted it. WTF? He said he wanted to stay friends when he broke up with me & he said he'd always be there for me & call me back if I called him. I have called him & he hasn't returned any of my calls. I even called to wish him a happy b-day a few days back since it was his b-day & I was going to take him a present but I haven't heard back from him. He says he's really busy working and stuff and he don't have time to call or hang out anymore. When he broke up with me he told his mom I started that kiss and tried to make it sound like I was trying to pressure him to do more than kiss or something to make me sound bad but that's not true at all. I am really shy and nice and I wouldn't do something like that. I thought he was a nice guy & he seemed to be until the past few months because he's had like a personality change and he seems to be a jerk now. I still love him and would love to date him again but I just don't know what to think of him anymore. Should I go have a talk with him and his mom and try to get things straightened out or would that be bad? I don't want people thinking I'm bad and tried to pressure him or something. I liked him being my best friend too and I don't want to loose him as that too but it seems like he don't want to be friends either. I am so confused and don't know what to think. He said before he is scared of getting close to someone since he got hurt bad by some other girl in the past. I've gotten hurt really bad too but I'm not very scared. He is basically everything I've ever wanted in a guy and I've never found anyone else that even came close to being anywhere near as great as him even though he don't seem so great anymore but surely the guy I feel in love with is still there somewhere behind his mean new self. He hung out with me for a little over and hour at college and took me to lunch with him back in Feb, he chatted for a while at college a few weeks ago and seemed nice both times and hugged me and acted like his old self. Then the next day after I last saw him at college I saw him a t mcd's where he works and I signed for him to call me & he thought I wanted him to call right then I guess & he yelled across the restaurant that he was busy & couldn't call me & he threw me a mean glare. He used to be real nice, really! Did I do anything wrong or is it all just him? Any hope of me getting him back as at least my friend? Any advice? Please help!
I added a poll in case you don't really have much advice to give you can give me an idea by taking the poll.
Update: My ex & me have started hanging out on a regular basis again & he's like his old self again & has been for the past 2 months now. He also gets quite flirty with me like he used to when we were dating & he sometimes gives me really close hugs. Confusing.
4 months ago
Forget about him he's to busy maturing and you could be missing out on some other nice guys. I know its hard but just go out and have some fun with friends
Your post is confusing. He was your boyfriend for 3 years, and first time you kissed was this past January? Anyway, given the behaviors he is doing, for whatever reason he doesn't want to associate himself with you anymore. Best thing is to move on and try to forget him. I just simply don't understand the situation though. Seems the only thing you can do is find out why he doesn't want to associate himself with you anymore, but either way, you will need to move on.
Yeah neither he or I ever kissed before and we finally kissed a little before we broke up after bout 3 years. Weird I know. Do you think I should go to his house and have a talk with him and his mom then to try to fix and straighten out things or no hope for that either? - 8 months ago
Answerer
I would leave the mom out. From what you described, it seems this guy is really annoyed with you. You said he gave you a mean look when you saw him at work; if you go to his house he can just avoid you. Do you see him in any other way? Only hope you have is that at some point you can ask him why he is avoiding u, but seriously, I doubt he will be honest about that, so best to start forgetting about him and start dating other guys. I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years she found a hubby, and I found another girlfriend. - 8 months ago
Question Asker
I don't know why he'd be annoyed with me, I've always been so nice to him so unless he's annoyed by me being nice I'm clueless about what annoys him. I see him were he works at & sometimes at college that's it basically. If I went to his house to talk how could he avoid me? He acts nice then mean he's so confusing. - 8 months ago
Answerer
Ok then, if you've gone to his house and he acts nice, then go there and just ask him why is he acting so strange. Guys don't simply do such behaviors out of nowhere, and there are many reasons as to why he is acting this way such as, finding another girl, he doesn't know how to behave with an ex, maybe he thinks he'll get re attached to you and his way of dealing with it is by acting how he is acting now. Etc. Then basically all you got left is confronting him in a nice way about his behavior - 8 months ago
You are still young, It's a big world out there, with plenty of great guys . You need to meet and date other people, and get a lot more real-life experience . So give your ex-bf some time and space . He needs to sort out his own feelings, and grow up a little (ok -- he needs to grow up a LOT -- he sounds quite immature) . After a year or two, you can check back with your ex-bf if you like . But I'm guessing you will have found a much better boyfriend by then . So go for it !
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