Ok, here's the situation, my boyfriend and I broke up in January because things were moving very fast for us( we were buying a house and he was going to propose). We had been dating for only 9 months but he moved in after only a couple months and things progressed very fast. Well he freaked out and left. I received a call from him about 2 weeks ago where he apologized for everything and told me that a day hasn't gone by where he didn't miss me or stop loving me. He wasn't expecting to get back together with me but he wanted to speak his peace and apologize. We talked for 4 hours on the phone that night ( because I was out of town) and he told me he wants us to possibly try again but go a lot slower this time. When I flew back into town he came right over and just held me in his arms for hours. For the next couple days if felt like things were right back to where they left off and it felt good, but the past week I haven't seen him. We talk all day everyday but I don't physically see him. I would joke around with him about him "cutting" me off and his response was " hun, I'm not trying to be a dick, I just want to take things slow". Well my question is, are we taking things slow or is it at a standstill? I'm not trying to push things because I want him to have the space and time he needs to clear his head but I don't know if I am hanging onto nothing. I can understand wanting to take things slow but does that mean not seeing each other very much? We have plans to do something Sunday but it's just weird having him in my life again but not being able to see him. Do you think there is hope or am I wasting my time? I truly believe we were meant to be and I am willing to wait because he is worth the wait but, when a guy says he wants to take things slow a second time around does that mean distancing himself from seeing me?
Update: One more thing, he calls me hun and darling all the time because he knows I love it and always tells me sweet dreams at night. I get these signs that he loves me still but when I don't see him I feel he doesn't want to see me which confuses me.
8 months ago
I get the feeling you might be more attracted to him then ever. Hope is everywhere, and remember words are just words, it depends on what actions he follows with those words
You guys haven't been back together very long, so give him the time he's asking for. If he didn't want to be with you, he wouldn't be contacting you at all. Just be with him as much as you can, and let the relationship get back on track.
It sounds like to me that he got a little bit scared because he was enjoying where things were going, but something got to him and he stepped back. I would not purchase a house together until you guys are married. I am coming off a bad experience where I moved in with my girlfriend after very little time dating and things moved a little too quick. Well four years later, a house, a son, and soon to be a divorce because she was unhappy the whole time? You need to take things very slowly. Who knows this guy might not even be the right one for you. I wouldn't jump into anything right away.
From what you say, I think there is hope, but also reason to be concerned. Sounds to me like your boyfriend is having trouble getting his act together, and needs time and space. But of course there is a chance that he won't succeed in getting his act together, no matter how much time and space you give him. What to do? If I were you, I'd give him all the time and space he wants, and would not push him. But I would also let him know that you are not just sitting at home waiting for him to call. You need to have a Plan B -- and that means getting out there and meeting other people, in case this guy never does get his head straight. Not an ideal situation, but that's how I think I'd try to handle it for the next few months, and see how it goes. Good Luck!
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