I know people always say "If it's meant to be, it will be".and I believe that. But, I also believe that you have to be a proactive person in order for good things to happen. So, how do you get someone back? I love him with all my heart and he says he loves me.but that he analyzed our relationship and doesn't think we get along well enough. I know that our real problem is communication, but I TRULY believe those problems can be fixed. I've pushed him a lot the past few weeks (since the break-up) to give it another chance, but he said he believes my "begging" has not helped because it just adds to the fighting and to our differences in personality. He also says that he feels like he gave it a chance IN the relationship and nothing changed. But does it take a year and a half to figure that out? And why does he wait til NOW to point out the things I did that upset him? Now it's too late. I get the idea that he is laid back, but he has no problem addressing issues NOW, so why didn't he do it THEN when I could fix it and we could talk about it? I know some people might believe that to be immaturity, so in his defense I will say that he is 35, but his last relationship was in law school 10 years ago and she was PSYCHO.another reason I think he's so scared of my personality.he fears another whacko. But, I think that he hasn't really had a REAL relationship to learn the Communication and compromise thing. So, rather than realize those things can be fixed, he feels they're not fixable and gives up. When I ask if we're over for good, he says "Unless some time passes and if we're meant to be together, we will be. But we just don't don't work well together. I love you but we don't get along". Yes, we are different. I'm very confrontational and have somewhat of a temper and he is VERY laid back and doesn't let anything bother him.but aren't opposites supposed to go together? I KNOW that I could never be with a person like me.but I feel like maybe HE can be the one to calm me down and help me change that. I've been trying to show him a different side of me (We see each other at work) and I've stopped calling him to try to give him some breathing room to think. When I asked him if he was moving on, he said no.but I don't know what exactly that means. I do believe he loves me and I DO believe that we can be happy if we work on it. But how do I get him to realize we CAN be the couple we were in the beginning before we let stupid crap ruin it?
Sorry this was so long. Just trying to vent :)
Update: Oh, and I forgot to mention.the other day he actually made a comment that he thinks I love him, but don't really WANT him. I just "think he is the type of person I should be with" .but that I was never really happy with him and haven't figured it out.
3 months ago
Update: I know it many ways I treated him bad when I got stressed at work. I have to learn how to deal with that. But I was NEVER unhappy with HIM.we only fought at WORK. I mean, for the first 6 months, we talked about marriage, so how is this happening now?
3 months ago
Yeah, Shevvon hit the nail on the head. If you want him back, ( speaking from personal experience, twice, with the same person )
S P A C E
Don't call. Don't drive past his house. Don't think about him. Then, you'll start to find out, eventually, that sometimes its nice when neither side of the relationship has to be "fixed"
Ha ha...I def don't do the drive bys and don't try to hang out where he is. Actually, I probably stay as far away as possible. BUT...I have to see him at WORK on a daily basis, which makes it hard to give him REAL space. I'm trying though! - 3 months ago
THE ONLY WAY TO GET A PERSON BACK, IS TO GIVE THEM SPACE. YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HE'S DOING. IF YOU KEEP CALLING HIM TRYING TO GET HIM TO CHANGE HIS MIND, YOU'RE ONLY NAGGING AND PUSHING HIM FURTHER AWAY. WITH ALL MY BREAKUPS, WHEN MY BOYFRIENDS CALLED TO BREAK UP WITH ME. I NEVER GAVE A STRUGGLE. NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURT ME, I SHOWED A NONCHALANT ATTITUDE AND NEVER CALLED THEM AGAIN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? WITH THAT LITTLE BIT OF STRATEGY, ALL OF THEM CALLED BACK WITHIN A WEEK OF MISSIN ME, AND "REALIZING THEY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME." LOL SO MY RELATIONSHIPS ENDED BECAUSE I BROKE UP WITH THEM. EACH AND EVERYONE. TRY MY STRATEGY. LEAVE HIM BE. HE'LL REALIZE WHAT HE LOST. IF HE DOESN'T YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE BETTER.
I agree to this I am actually going threw this right now ; and I think that saying if you love someone let them go if they come back it was ment to be is so so so true. - 3 months ago
Agree totally .. just let it go, don't have expectations on the relationship - somethings are meant to be, no matter what happens. Have faith in yourself, pull yourself back up together - 3 months ago
I like the confidence in that post!! - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I do believe that everyone is right. The only problem in all of that, is that I have to see him Monday through Friday for work. So, am I supposed to avoid communication with him (impossible to completely stop because he's my boss) or do I just talk to him like a friend/boss and stop acting like the brat I was before? - 3 months ago
Answerer
Thank you everyone for agreeing wit me! I appreciate it. people finally think I'm right for a change! lol I really believe in this method though. no matter how much it bothers you, leave it alone. trust me. this is the only way that you'll know if he wants you back for sure. I know it's easier said than done, but try it. - 3 months ago
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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