My boyfriend and I both just started college. The day before school started he told me we should take an "official break". He said he knew it wasn't what I wanted, but that right now it was for the best. We were very much into each other and not once had he ever given me a sign that something like this would happen. It came completely out of the blue.
He talked to me the next day and told me he wasn't willing to have a "pseudo, long-distance relationship with ANYONE". Which broke my heart, because apparently I'm not special enough for him. On a good traffic day the distance between our schools is about three hours. It doesn't seem very far to me, and it's not like we'd never be able to see each other. He even said he wants to come visit me at school! I don't get it. He still calls and messages me and talks as if nothing even happened. Meanwhile I'm alone and confused.
So I am just full of questions. Why is he so afraid to have a "long-distance" relationship? Does he not trust me, and think I'll cheat on him (which I would never do)? Is he afraid of commitment? What does a break even mean? He told me it was okay if I dated someone else, but that he didn't prefer it. Does that mean he wants to get back together when school is out and we're able to see each other all summer long? But then what happens once we go back to school again once more? Can I ever convince him that he can have a long-distance relationship with me, without worrying about anything? I don't know what to do. please help.
Realistically, 3 hours on a good traffic day is far, because most days traffic is bad. How often do you expect to see each other? These long distance relationships don't work, you're both going to different colleges to experience a whole new life. I doubt it's a matter of trust or not, more of a matter of getting out there and trying new things and meeting new people.
A break means he's breaking up with you. A break means he has the options to see other people and decide if he still wants to be with you. You should take your own break instead of waiting for him to decide what he wants. In the long run, you'll be the one with the broken heart if you don't.
It seems to me that starting college he doesn't want to have to go around and tell everyone he's taken/has a girlfriend, thus wants to remain single just in case he meets someone else, that's just what I think though.
He does like you, the fact that he asked for a break and not to break up with you already supports the fact that you mean something to him, together with that he's still calling you and messaging you as if nothing happened too. So it is evident that you do mean something to him. I suggest you go visit him anyway, as if there isn't a break. and let him know that you want to keep it going without any break.
He is afraid you might cheat on him. He wants to be single and open to new opportunities (college girls). He is being selfish by saying he wouldn't be happy if you went out with other guys.
Long distance relationships are hard to keep, and work out. But if you really love someone you would give it a shot. wouldn't you? He didn't even consider it. He chose to be single for awhile. So let him be. You obviously don't mean that much to him for him to want to TRY to work it out.
But anywayz, based on experience. If the guy really wants to be with you, and really doesn't want to lose you, he won't let anything, even distance, get in between you two. And he would try to figure out how to make it work. My opinion is, this guy wants to keep it open so he can explore and enjoy the great ol'college crazyness. I suggest you do the same. It'll make him realize what he took for granted.
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