for someone to realize they made a mistake by breaking up with you? It's been 7 weeks and we still talk. He still says he misses me and that he's hurting.but if he realizes he wants me back, how long is too long to have "hope"? We work together and see each other Mon-Fri, so I know in my case it may be longer since he doesn't get to "miss me" and be without me. just want an idea!
There's really no easy way to tell how long it will take, if ever. Every person is different, so generalizations are nearly impossible. It's just not easy to know why he's hurting, and what's stopping him. He could have some personal issues he just hasn't sorted out yet. If this is the case no estimation will be accurate.
If he says he misses you and he's hurting, it's probably a good thing for you. As long as he admits his feeling like he has, it increases the probability he'll come back.
Well, he says we don't get along well enough and that I didn't seem happy with him. That was the reason for the break up...if that helps! - 3 months ago
Well, fix that first. If you weren't happy with him, why do you want to get together? Or why would he think you weren't happy with him? He wasn't happy with you for whatever the reason, meaning you're the problem, not him. Therefore, he should really be the one asking questions on this website. :) - 3 months ago
Answerer
Just because he's not happy with her doesn't mean she's the problem. If this guy was abused as a child and has a fear of intimacy with women, that wouldn't make her the problem. Dislike or like or hate or whatever you call it is always the creation and responsibility of one person.
If I hate someone because she wears a hat, she isn't the problem because I'm the one who has an issue with hats. Responsibility lies with ourselves, not others. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Well, it's mainly my fault. I allowed my hurt from past relationships interfere in ours. The jealousy, paranoid, etc. I would argue with him over stupid things. Our main problem was communication. He is 35 and the only girl he dated was when he was 22 and she was psycho, so the things I did made him fear I was like her. He said he fears "marrying the wrong person". I think we can be very happy together if we just talked about things. But, I talk to much and he didn't talk enough and that was it. - 3 months ago
Answerer
Have you been honest with him about all of this? - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Yes, I have. But I did the "BEGGING" thing for about 6 weeks and he said it "didn't help" because it made him feel like we were still arguing which is what he was trying to avoid. It's been about 2 weeks since I've done that (with about 2 slip ups). He came back from a family trip to the beach yesterday and told me he missed me and it was lonely without me there and that he is hurting too. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
Basically what he has said is that after a year and a half, he feels like we haven't gotten to the point where we need to be and he feels like I really wasn't that happy with him (because of how I acted) and says that we are too different and he feels like he is doing the right thing. But then he tells me he still loves me and misses me, so it's hard to tell what to do anymore! - 3 months ago
Answerer
I think if you wait long enough he'll come back. I can't say how long it'll take, but, I think it'll happen. - 3 months ago
Question Asker
I hope you're right. In my heart, I feel like it's not over...but I don't know if that's just "denial" or what. The more time passes, the more I wonder...but I haven't really given him time...working together makes it real hard for him to be without me and makes it hard for ME to prove myself since he sees me upset/hurt sometimes. I'm gonna try to not allow myself to show that side. But, I hope you're right and I hope it's soon!!! - 3 months ago
What Girls Said
N/A
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 2 months ago
I guess I am in the same boat as you. I can honestly say I am in love with my ex. It broke my heart when he broke up with me in April. We still talk and flirt, and he has said on more than one occasion that he misses me, cares about me, and even asked if I would ever take him back! I guess there really is no set amount of time in which things will happen or he will suddenly change his mind and sweep you off your feet. I am still without him although we talk on a regular basis, but I think it has more to do with him than me. He is the one that is confused, not ready, or struggling with personal issues which ultimately are getting in the way of being with me. But still, I have yet been able to wrap my head around why he thinks I'm great and he cares about me and misses me and wants to see me yet he doesn't want to be with me. I guess I am still in limbo, but I wish you luck! Just wanted to let you know that there is someone else struggling out there too.
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 3 months ago
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