Why is it so hard for me to get over him and why do I still want him?

This is bad, just bad overall. Bad for you especially, but bad for him too. You're feeding into his ego by giving in to him, because he has this other girl that he's probably doing stuff with too, and then he has you for when he's not with her. It's not a good scenario, and you need to move on and move away as fast as you can. The best way to do it, find someone else. It may sound weird, or impossible, but trust me, this guy is just using you, and you need to get away from him, so give it a shot, next time he calls, tell him no and then go out instead and see if you can get somebody's number. That'll bruise his ego, boost yours and maybe lead to something brighter for you ahead.

Honey YOur torture ing yourself too hard think about Black 'cause most of the time it gets you thinking about something else