Alright, here's the deal: My boyfriend and I have just broke up after a two year relationship. It has been traumatic and terrible to say the least, but I've gotten past the worst part, which is good. We had a really serious relationship, so just "looking hot" and "making him jealous" isn't enough. I see myself veering towards those kinds of options but I know that he has never been that stupidly male, as most boys aren't, to just succumb to any meager attempt I put out. I don't want to hook up with him because I don't want him thinking I've gone soft or I'm not worth as much. I love him. We were in love. And I'm hopelessly lost without him. I just want things to go back to how they were but I don't know were to start, most importantly I don't know what he wants. I don't want to sit around while he's deciding if he loves me, but I don't want to move on and realize I could have gotten back together. Also, if he is over me, I have the option of hooking up with this guy tomorrow, so unlike me but I'm a little reckless and up for anything right now. Should I do it?
ok you seem the more sensible sort so I would say DONT go for the rebound.its bad enough for the guy and a guy who is willing to be used for rebound is not really the guy for u.rebounds don't work out because later in the relationship u'll be realising its jus residue feelings for the first guy that's keeping you in the relationship with the second guy and its NOT worth it. congrats on getting past the first part.i sure as hell didnt.i took the worst possible option and yes you are strong.u must have made him a large chunk of ur life that's why you miss him so much.its understandable.if this relationship failed due to mutual agreement then he would also be upset and heartbroken too.guys are not the cold, strong automatons that is the standard cliche.they have feelings too right now all I see is one option.and this only works if the relationship failed due to mutual agreement.cuz there would still be feelings for each other.if the guy called it off due to him having feelings for someone else than I'm quite sorry but the cause is lost.and think properly first if you want this relationship back seriously.the silver lining here is that this is the best time to think over past events.i suggest you use it wisely
Yes our relationship failed due to mutual agreement. See we loved one another, or so I thought, but these past few weeks he was making shitty choices that seriously hurt me. For example, he just stopped calling. Keep in mind we love eachother, when you love someone you want to speak to them. its simple. so how could I call him and tell him to call me, I want him to want to in the first place! But if I mentioned to him the fact he possibly doesn't love me anymore he would break down and cry. - 11 months ago
Answerer
Ok..him not calling you is NORMAL you have to understand..its because he is heartbroken and hearing ur voice is torturing for him..since you said its "love" then obviously its even WORSE than normal..think 300 knives piercing ur heart,sleepless at night,can't breathe..its the stuff like that..i'm sure u've felt it before..btw did you actually tell him that you think he doesn't love u?cuz that's jus plain insensitive..trust me..if a guy didn't love you he wouldn't have stayed with you for 2 years.. - 11 months ago
Question Asker
Yes I did tell him that...wow your right that really is insensitive... - 11 months ago
Answerer
Right now dun aggravate the situation by going for rebounds or anything..leave it some time for you guys to get over each other(or not)..u'll jus probably drive him to commit suicide or something..acting aloof ain't gonna help matters either..in ur case making him jealous is gonna have an adverse effect so I suggest dont..btw you didn't really state the reason WHY you 2 broke up..and trust me..sometimes both of you have to put ur pride aside if you want the thing to work - 11 months ago
Question Asker
Its hard to explain it in 500 words. We broke up simply because it was killing me. I couldn't handle his passivness at times, his insenstivity, the fact it seems like he just didn't love me. He would do things that hurt me sooo much. It honestly seems like he didn't care at all, yet I knew he loved me. Were both taking really hard classes this year and he has baseball but how come I can manage to provide love and attention and he cant. I want to be his world but for awhile it seemed like I wasnt. - 11 months ago
Answerer
Well...i can provide some insight on that matter..its basically because he is trying to priorise his tasks OR he is going through a phase that he doesn't know if you were the one..although it seems like the latter..its been 2 years and trust me there isn't much romantic things to do you know?especially when guys stick to the norm haha..later either one of you will realise ur doing things for routine sake..and that's probably what he was going through...a period of thinking and rationalising - 11 months ago
Question Asker
But I love him and love isn't a rationalitic or thoughtfull things. its just there, you can't help it. what you say makes total sense I just really have a hard time excepting it because that's not the way I've ever loved him. I am so passionate about him, and insanely devoted. I'm not saying its right or healthy how much I love him but I can't take being the more devoted one, the chaser rather than the chased in the relationship, you know. I love him but I would just liked to be persued for once. - 11 months ago
Answerer
Dont all girls wish that..u know..usually its the dating part that's the time when guys would pursue girls but later you start to realise that its the girls that's trying to make the relationship work..its tiring but that's life..for me personally I tot I knew love till I was heartbroken..i took 7 whole months to forget her but I still felt the urge to see her..thats not even love..or maybe that is..i dunno..all I know is that relationships come and go..dun hang on to one for the sake of hanging on - 11 months ago
Wow its my situation in a nutshell except we had 4 years together,we have a 16 month old son, and the break up was not mutual whatsoever.. I did not want to leave the love of my life or give up on my family for a second! He just kind of made me do it.. wish I could help you but I am hopelessly lost myself! Best of luck!
The best thing to do is disappear from his life for a while. It is really hard, but it will give both of you time to think about what happened and decide if you want to save the relationship. Also, it will give him a chance to miss you and see what life is like without you.
My ex broke up with me because he didn't love me anymore so I said I needed distance from him. Now he is calling me, emailing me, and trying to see me. I don't if he wants me back. but I am at least in a better place then I was a few weeks ago.
So, if he really wants to work things out and be with you, having no contact with him for a while is the greatest thing you can do.
okay first and for most he is just as reckless and upset as you. he's just isn't showing it. even if you feel like making him jealous and dressing cute and seeming as though you are getting on with your life isn't working TRUST ME it is. some guys take longer than others but they all crack every last one of them and one day it may not be tomorrow or next week but some day he will want back the love you guys had.
the best advice I can give you is stay confident and strong. don't act out of your heart broken state and go after who ever wants to take you out tomorrow night. I can promise you that you will regret it. just run the independent scene for awhile if the oppurtunity approches to make him jealous do it. just know not to go to far
nothing is ever going to be the same as it was but if you two are truly meant to be together than you will be. fate is a funny thing.
Thank you so much this actually provided a lot of insight. I knew of course a lot of this stuff but I've also considered other methods and I was so confused about which one was right. to have another girl say that this is the best route definetely erases my previous doubts, thanks so much! - 11 months ago
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When: 11 months ago
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