I told this girl I liked her, and she says "I'm not ready for a boyfriend, I feel I'd only end up hurting him. I hope you can understand that I just don't want a relationship like that"
I know that this can be interpreted in many ways - perhaps she is just letting me down in a nice way, or perhaps she is being serious --- perhaps she is afraid of commitment and has never had a boyfriend before.
Either way, HOW should I try again, how should I for instance ask her if she'd like to grab a coffee with me, without 'scaring her away', and HOW LONG should I wait until I "try again"? Because I really like this girl, and to be honest, I kind of thought she liked me too. Many thanks for the help!
I think you should just play it cool and and keep your options open. Once she sees that you have a life and don't pay much attention to her, it will make her think twice. See, the thing is, she is still concerned with hurting her ex - which is a big issue she needs to deal with. And if she's just using it as an excuse, well, it's an excuse that she's unfortunately not that into you. After a while, if she decides to pay more attention to you and flirting...she will drop hints like "we should check this out.." you're a great guy and if you focus too much on her, you may make the mistake of overlooking someone else really great who is equally interested in you...
She may still like you! Don't give up hope, but you might not know... she might have just gotten out of a relationship that might not have ended very well, so give it time. Allow yourself to be friends with her, and hangout with her without flirting for a while. Sooner or later, you will be able to "try again" starting out with maybe a little bit of flirting to let her know you are still interested in her!
You are at a dinner with her, have just walked into an interview or are at a first date with the best looking guy and there, your top two shirt buttons have snapped, or the pants you were wearing...
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 8 months ago
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