I was expressing some of my difficulties with women to a female friend of mine the other day. I said that whenever I ask a girl out, she always claims to be busy with something else. To be fair, that's probably true sometimes. But I get the distinct impression that most of the time, they're just trying to let me down gently. Fair enough.
So my friend asked how long I've known these women. I said that the time varies. Anywhere from five minutes to three months. I get the same response from all of them. She said that three months is not a very long time, and I should wait until they become comfortable with me.
This doesn't make any sense to me. I could swear that I've seen men successfully getting dates with women they've known for all of three minutes. It's just a date, after all.
So am I totally off my rocker here? Is my friend right? This is very confusing.
Maybe they are not interested as you think they might be. I wouldn't wait three months to ask someone on a date, but maybe 5 minutes is too soon. I agree, that I would want to get to know a guy better before going on a date, but there has to be something else you are doing wrong. What is your approach to asking them out?
You do not need to wait longer than three months to ask a girl on one date. In fact, if I liked a guy for three months, and he never asked me on a date- I'd give up an move on.
You might be asking the wrong type of girls out. Take a look at where you are meeting the girls, and what their lifestyles are like. Whether they are career-oriented, or just got out of relationships, or something like that. If you see a trend in any qualities of these girls, try to move away from that trend.
I think it's almost better to ask a girl out that you have not known for a super long time. When you do ask her, make it casual. Just ask her to meet you after work for a drink, or maybe meet you for lunch. I like the first date to be very casual so it's not intimidating, otherwise I tend to turn someone down simply out of nervousness! Good luck :)
Ok if you meet a brand new girl, as in don't know her or anything about her but want to get to know her better, what I do is I get the number first then I ask are you free this weekned, and if she says yes then right then and there I say good I'm taking you to dinner this weekend I will call you to set up a time. 3 months is wayyyyy to long that gives the girl the impression that you don't want to take her out on date and are only interested in being her friend, and then when you finally come around to asking her out she's prob either not interested any more or someone else has already gotten her. Ask her on a date as soon as possible.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
For me the first date is about getting to know the other person. I prefer a quiet venue, a place like a coffee shop or a dignified restaurant.
I dress well on first dates, wearing a nice shirt and jacket, sometimes with matching slacks, other times with jeans.
The date ends with a hug or a kiss (or both); I want to connect emotionally before going further.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
She will know that I'm funny, smart, and interesting. She will know a little about my career, my family, and my life, without too much information (to be boring or overly personal) being given on any subject.
She will also know that I'm a good listener, someone who has an interest in what she has to say (provided that it isn't boring or creepy!)
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