Do you think if women gave shyer guys a chance, they'd find true love much easier and without much trouble?

Awww... You sound so sweet! Yes, I do think that girls should give shy guys a chance and I am right now! I think shy guys are extra sweet and most aren't perverted like all of the loud, obnoxious guys. You sound like the perfect guy so don't worry too much. One day the perfect girl will find you, and one lucky girl she will be! As for me, my problem with shy guys is that I'm kind of shy myself(At least when it comes to talking to strangers and guys I really like) so not only do I not know how to act when I'm around them, but I can't ever make the first move. This is bad for me because I'm practically positive that the guy I like won't either. Maybe the girl you like likes you, but she just doesn't know how to approach you. Maybe she wants to get to know you but doesn't know how. Good luck with the girl:) I don't know about anyone else, but I'm definitely going to give shy guys a chance!:)

I'm more quiet than shy. I met my boyfriend from the Internet; he's very shy.
He's incredibly nice and funny, I don't think I could get a better find. You shouldn't feel bad for being shy, it's another great attribute to your personality! Some women find that extremely adorable.
Hell, my sister told me to marry my boyfriend after our second date when I showed her a picture and told her he's really shy.

honestly if you're cute and esp if you're good looking, outgoing girls love coming up to shy guys.

i know I do but then if he doesn't talk a lot to me, because I'm essentially shy with an outgoing first layer, I'll go away :)

YES, I use to like the typical bad boy or over confident dude that every girl like (but with intelligence) until this one day I accidentally started being friends and flirting with this shyer guy...now I wish he would've asked me out to this day I regret his mistake...but now I pay attention to the shy guys too...and find they to be great

Honestly, the reason shy guys don't 'get a chance' is because they don't give themselves one, and that isn't a girl's problem. The same is true in reverse, so I'm not bagging on guys. If you want something, you go for it. If you don't and you procrastinate or make up excuses, she's going to find someone else by the time you come around to asking her out or making the effort it takes to keep her. That makes sense, why would anyone want to be with someone that wasn't willing to step up for them? It sounds much harder to me for a shy person to even meet someone, nonetheless find love with them or avoid trouble. People will mistake shyness for being disinterested.

Could be, but its different strokes for different folks. Personality is nice, but so is brashness sometimes. There is a balance that has to be achieved. I also don't believe finding true love is easy any way you put it - its just a stroke of luck really.

!ALSO!

I know the shakes are hard to knock down -- you can be an overly confident person one minute, then a marshmallow around that special person.

What I would do, break the ice with a joke. Find someway to get yourself to relax and at the same time she'll be open and be relaxed too. Maybe ask about a movie she might have seen, and that conversation could break into another and you'll feel more comfortable with that particular person as time goes on.

Best of luck <3

My friend, there are lots of different types of women out there, and I think you'll find that a good number of them do give shyer guys a chance. I do, for certain. To be blatantly honest, confident guys scare me. I'm shy myself, and a little self-conscious at times, so if a confident guy comes up to me and starts talking to me, you can bet I'll be thinking "why has this guy singled me out? Is he trying to humiliate me? Etc..." From my perspective, it's far better to go for a guy who doesn't seem so intimidating. But I digress.
Getting back to your question, it's my opinion that the problem with finding true love is that both people have to be prepared to bend a little. You know, "It takes two to tango', and all that. If a girl (shy or not) is going to try to build a relationship with a shy guy, it's going to take some of her nerve anyway. She may have to make the first move. This is likely to make her feel vulnerable, what with the "fear of rejection" and all that. It can also be even more difficult for her because she's going to have to put a lot of effort into flirting with a guy who, being shy, is not going to be as responsive as she might like. She's going to want some sort of hint that she's not wasting her time. Also, that she's not making a fool of herself by appearing desperate. Don't expect any woman to do all the work, because it just isn't going to happen.
You asked, "if a woman gave a shy guy a legitimate chance and spent some quality time with her and she gave him time to get comfortable with her and to be himself, do you think she would find that she might really like the guy too?" My answer is yes. It already happens. You just have to wait for the right woman to come along. As long as you're prepared to contribute to the building of the relationship as well, everything will go along "without much trouble".

Your inability to be forthcoming is probably being conceived as playing hard to get. From the get go, tell the girl you are interested in that you are shy and not likely to make many first moves until you are comfortable. If you appear to be playing hard to get for too long (even if you aren't) she will probably move on. No woman wants to appear desperate by chasing down her man.

Yeah actually am secretly attracted to shy guys all the time, but for some reason they fear to talk to me or make a move, when they fiiiinally do, it would be just waaaaay too late, cause id be over it or id be with someone else and am not a cheater. I can't wait forever for them to make the first move and when the gurl makes the first move nothing happens cause they re still shy to speak out or to do anything so its pretty hard to read thier signals and its just disappointing that gurls do like shy guys but they just don't know how to get them that's why end up with players, they re out there and open!

Although I don't think that with shy guys you will find true love easier cause after all he is still a guy and guys do cheat...most of them do! it doesn't matter if he's shy or not cause after all the shyness will fade away and the true him will appear really. so it doesn't matter!

Well you defiantly sound sweet and like a very nice and considerate guy. Sounds like the kinda guy that most girls are looking for, unfortunately most girls want that but go for asshole because they in a sick way like the chase and the drama. Girls are pretty dumb when it comes to guys. Although they see the sweet side of the guy they are pursuing when the guy gets comfortable and isn't chasing her anymore they aren't as considerate and tend to show their true colors but by that time girls are already had... And most its very hard for them to see that its not for them anymore... Instead thet pursue the traits in the guy that they feel in love with and unfortunately theyre gone because the guy doesn't have to chase anymore.
So the answer to your question is Yes but that's just not the way most girls are wired.
But I also think that for the smart girl who gets through your shyness will be one lucky lady! ;)
Hope this helps. If you ever wanna Chat hit me up. I'm a nice girl who tries to be smart ;)

Well you have a good point actually. And I totally agree that the more shy guys tend the be the nicest and could be the better boyfriends.

I don't think women don't look deeper or at least I look deeper. but I've had a few crushes on the more shy type guys. It's very hard for me to talk to to them because 1) I'm also shy and nervous around the people I like so when two shy people collide--it gets super intimidating because there are like a trillion other things going on in the back of my mind 2) I Can't read his signals 3) I like guys to make the first move and when the signals aren't like apparent I can't really like show any subtle interest and only view this shy and nice person as a friend.

and I think thus most girls turn to like the more confident and outgoing guys because they are more bold and they seek what then want quick. - (also one reason how I got sucked in)

The super confident ones? they are just plain cocky because they think they are all great and that every girl will fall for them because they have so much to offer but in some sense and in some other form of way they don't treat a girl as sweet and nice compared to the more shy guys.

I'm shy too and I know how difficult it is when people of the opposite sex just pass you by because you're not an outgoing loud mouth but to be quite honest, I don't know why you think that women don't give shy guys a chance because to me, women seem to like shy men more then those who are outgoing whereas men are absolutely turned off by shy women.

"I just think if more women actually took the chance to get to know me, they'd find a whole lot to like, and gave me some time to fully open up. And not only that, but they would be loved, treated right and with total respect and I would admire them for the amazing women that they are. No more than one at a time tho... lol! ;)"

"Do you think if women just looked a little deeper and took a chance on a good, shyer guy, they'd find true love a lot easier?"

Now I know this has nothing to do with what you asked but as for what you said above I just want to say congratulations. You now know what women have to live and put up with with in this day and age. It sucks, doesn't it? Do you know how many women wished that men would do this for them? Instead, men solely choose women based on looks alone and if we don't have every feature that they are looking for, no matter how minute it is, they simply overlook us as if we don't even exist.

yes

Hope I helped :)

I agree with dollface.Confidence means believing in yourself whereas arrogance is believing you are better than you really are.

SOURCE OF CONFIDENCE:
True confidence comes from an attitude where you "promise yourself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at you, that you will try as hard as you can to help yourself". Also realise that these efforts mightn't succeed "as often being properly rewarded is not in your control" ["The Motivated Mind" by Prof Raj Persaud.

"Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Susan Jeffers is a great book for overcoming fear in any situation.

Being able to strike up a conversation with someone you fancy is so important. Being proactive and taking the intiative to approach a woman is an example of confidence-it is impressive to any girl. Timidity can become self-limiting if its preventing you from meeting who you want. You do have to "feel the fear and do it anyway"-be shy but just approach the girl anyway. That's why I'm recommending the book to you. My best friend uses it all the time and it has increased her confidence.

it's a balance I think. I don't go for the over confident cocky guys because I often think they're pricks or too full of themselves and it's so easy for me to shoot them down because I can't tolerate people who are too arrogant. but if you're shy, definitely work on talking to a girl and asking her out. initiative is important. I like shy guys but I also like guys who take the initiative sometimes. confidence is necessarily manipulation. I always take time tog et to know a guy, if he wants things and he hasn't worked for them, he's a douchebag. I am stubborn, I don't give in to anyone. manipulative means he denies things or deflects the fault-guys like that are just A. pigs or B. dumbasses, because mature girls will see through that. I won't let them have a chance with me. I like guys who are nice and have ethics, smart and takes care of himself etc. if you're shy, that's ok. as long as you are a good person and there's chemistry, then it could work out. don't give up lol. good luck :)

Short answer...yes.

I did let this happen once, and he absolutly broke my heart when he broke up with me. It's been over a year and I still haven't fully recovered and sometimes I cry when I see him. I gave a shy guy a chance, and once I gave him a life and gave him confidence, he gave me up. Yeah, but what if the girl lets this happen and the guy stops loving her? it's much harder to let go of someone you thought was good person rathar than a jerk. I'm not sure If I could ever love a shy guy again even though their my type because of this situation. I don't think I could handle something like that again.

I, for one, am always more attracted to the shy guys, but I am shy myself. The problem is, shy guys don't show their interest to you because they're trying too hard to avoid awkward, flirtatious situations. I don't blame you either. I'm the same way, but unfortunately, for guys, you're often expected to be the ones to make the first move, so you can't really just sit back and wait for a girl to ask you out unless she's super confident.

Just show some signs by hanging out with a girl at social gathering, like a party. Touch her shoulder when you talk, give her a hug goodbye (because it's not unusual for friends to hug friends goodbye, and girls love hugs, so having the confidence to hug her goodbye will leave a good impression), and make sure you take some time to talk to her one on one, even if it's just for a couple minutes. She'll remember that.

Plus, once you start feeling comfortable around her, don't be afraid to ask her out. You'll never know unless you try. You sound like a really good guy that will make a girl very happy if she gets the chance to know you, but unless you show her your good qualities, she'll never know. :)

Well its great and all to run around saying that you have all these great qualities that women would want. But if we don't ever get to see them then it kind of doesn't matter. And it's not shy guys vs. bad boys. There are lots of different guys with lots of different personalities, There are shy guys that are ass holes and there are fun loud outgoing guys that are really nice and know how to treat a woman. The guy I'm talkin to is a really nice guy that is soo funny and sweet and OUTGOING. Girls don't typically go for shy guys unless they themselves are shy. Girls want a confident guy that they can have a connection with. We don't want to sit around for months waiting for you to muster up the courage to say hello to us or wait an additional few months for you to actually come out of your shell and show us who you are. We want someone that can stimulate us, make us laugh, that is sweet, fun, smart, compassionate, and has an outgoing personality.

I'm not saying that being shy is a bad thing by any means at all. But seriously if you expect a girl to open up and want to be with you, then you need to stop expecting every girl to come to you and step it up. Why don't you try to step out of your comfort zone and make an effort. I think that if more shyer guys actually bothered to make an effort to get to know someone they like, rather than bitching that girls aren't giving them a chance, then they would see a better result. You can't just expect every chick to "open her mind" and consider being with a shy guy when you aren't even willing to make a move or do any of the necessary work.

I dunno. I just don't really think its fair that you say more girls would find truer happy love if they went with a shy person. You might not cheat but that's not enough to keep someone from being mored to death. I think that if you want to have better luck then you are the one that is going to have to open up, step out of your comfort zone, and work for what you want.

And not to mention, there are probably tons and tons of gorgeous girls that may really like you or be attracted to you. But the thing is if they try to talk to you and you are closed off then we take as you are not interested and move on. We need some sort of hint or something that lets us know that you are interested.

A lot of girls like shy guys.. but don't know how to approach them. If there is someone you like, you should definitely try to make the first move subtly. Not so strong, but nice and with charisma.

oh do you play in a band? I see that your nickname is "drummerdude". chat up girls at your gigs if you do. girls love guys in bands its just really sexy. definitely a strength you should use.

no. women want a confident guy. why should she have do all the work? honestly I'm not attracted to shy guys because I think "god I have to make all the conversation, all the effort". its unfair to place that burden on any poor girl. it gets annoying real quick- I just think "god get a grip". it might be unkind but that's what most people think deep down. its YOUR problem not the girls-im not being mean but girls are attracted to first impressions and that's that. YOU need to make the effort to get the attention you want. get more confidence in yourself and you'll get whoever you want. why are you blaming the girls? they can't ALL be wrong! "oh if only they liked me..." whatever! girls like someone with a good personality and good sense of humour which you can easily develop and good appearance which you can totally work on-think cool blazer, tshirt and jeans, nice aftershave- I like hugo boss for men! and the ralph lauren ones too. also good hair cut is important. not too short, bit of hair that she can pull but not too long. bit of stubble is ok but to be safe just shave. oh if you want a good body work out!

honestly its not rocket science! make eye contact, go up and chat to her, buy her a drink, ask her questions about herself, sell yourself as a confident person even if you're not-unless you do these thigns how will you get anyone?

how old are you? like 20? why should someone in their early twenties be deep anyway? your twenties are for having fun! not for settling down.

im only telling you what I think so you can learn from this and get whoever you want.

trust me! I'm describing my type of guy and I'm a girl so I know what I'm talking about. most of my girl friends would agree with me too so I'm not being a bitch just honest!

i definately do. and don't think that girls aren't interested in you they just don't kno you nd that's the problem. we don't kno what to think of shy guys because we rele don't kno u. someone who is more outgoing can b, not to sound mean or anything, judged easier.

I totally agree with you. If women opened their mind to possibilities without lowering their standards, then it would be much easier to find love with anyone (shyer guys included). I openly admit that I'm really picky, but I started flirting with some guys who tend to be more quiet like myself, and even though I haven't clicked with anyone yet, I've met a lot of cool people. Besides I think the shy ones tend to be the cuties. Shyness comes in different packages, so a lot of women need to be aware of that. There are shy popular guys, regular shy guys, shy guys in certain situations. If girls opened up their radar, they could find real gold instead of fool's gold.

But I just have to say that sometimes those little mind games that get in your way can really be people's hesitation, so if you like a girl, put it out there because sometimes I know I mistake someone's hesitations for mind games and regret it later. It's not really anyone's fault, so much as things get lost in translation, so I say once you find a smart girl who is willing to take a chance with you, build confidence so you can let her know how you really feel, and make sure she does the same.

You are a good looking guy but you say you are shy? I am shy also, but I approached a "nice" guy who seemed outgoing, very attractive etc... It turns out that he is actually very shy. So I take it as he is not interested in me because he stopped contacting me. My point is that if you really like a girl you have to find a way to let her know. She may be really into you but if you shy away from her then she will assume you are not interested. This really hurts because I really like him.

From a shy guys perspective if you liked the girl back would you remain in contact with her or would you "ignore" her after you found out that she was interested in you?

Yep! definatley. Those are the best kind of guys to be with!

I never even read the whole explanation for the question...all I needed to read was the question itself!

My answer is "definitely yes!"

;)

it takes a really confident girl to approach a guy and if he's so shy that she has to do all the work--like planning dates and making conversation, she's going to burn out. you have to give a little, step out of that comfort zone. but yes I agree there are lots of shy people who are good looking, great people who don't get a lot of attention because of their shyness. not only is it harder to get a shy person to approach you, its harder to approach them and get to know them. shyness can be mistaken for something else, like unsocial, stuck up or just not friendly. I'm not going to go as far as to agree that girls could find love with shy guys w/o much trouble but there's many whod be worth the effort.

you seem like a really genuine guy. the thing is girls are not into shy guys when their young. they want that guy that can be the life of the party, the cool dude that's friends with everyone. I personally am not into shy guys becuase I'm shy myself and a relationship like that seldomly works, coz' it would get boring. the best bet for you is that you should surround yourself or get to know the friends of the person you're interested in. I'm sure then you would be able to show them the real, awesome guy that you are, and that person would know it too. but girls generally think of the shy guy as being boring, so take a chance and show them who you really are.

no. being shy does not necessarily mean that the guy won't cheat, lie, or hurt a girl.

some of my guy friends are shy guys, but most of them have cheated.

there are a variety of human beings and you can't stereotype that just because a guy is "shy", he's going to be a great guy.

Maybe it won't be easier because finding love is hard but DEFINITElY they can find love with you. Any girl who grabs your heart is one lucky bi***!

wow gimme yo number...jk its sweet that you are willing to wait there are not a lot of guys like you and if your shy we won't find you don't be afraid trust god even in your love life and be more social I'm kinda in a similar situation I really like this person and he seems shy what do you do when you are around a girl you like and what is the way you act shy? I'm kinda trying to find out if he likes me. Don't be shy!

I understand what you're saying now and I can completely sympathize with your predicament. I have social anxiety issues myself and feel that the first impression I give can be the worst - I get flustered in certain situations and feel that given more opportunities to socialize, I could be more relaxed and more of myself.
In time, though, I understood that my problems were MY problems. True, it would be nice if people were less inclined to make an instant assessment based on meeting me for the first time, but given that they aren't - it was up to me to change my behavior. It's your problem, not the girl that you like, therefore it's your responsibility to deal with it.
You need to relax. Stop over thinking the situation - I'm sure that your intimidation comes from the fact that you place so much weight on what her thoughts are of you. It's extremely hard not to care what people think, especially people that you care about, but that's what you're going to have to do.
You're fretting about things you have no control over. You can't make her like you - no matter how suave you are. All you can do is take the risk of asking her out. Don't over analyze everything that you do around her, don't assume you know what she is thinking. She isn't you, she doesn't think like you - don't put thoughts in her head. Your projecting your own awkwardness and dooming your chances. This girl you like, she may want to give you a chance but you're too busy beating yourself up to see.
We all fear rejection - but it happens to everybody. It's not the end of the world when it happens. Our egos are tough - they can take a hit and keep going. If it doesn't work out, shrug it off and move on. There will be plenty of chances with plenty of women in life. Don't make it bigger than it really is.
Good luck, breathe deep and relax.

Listen it's all the same for both girls and guys. I like guys but am so shy they never show interest in me. And if a guy is too shy well girls mostly don't want that. Women often look for someone strong and someone to protect them. And who isn't a person who sulks in the corner or just stays away from conversations.

Most of the time, when I meet a shy guy it can come across as rudeness or shyness. Like for example if I meet a guy in a bar and I try and start a conversation with him and instead of asking and answering questions and generally making small talk he will look the other way, ignore me for his friends or walk off. This can be rudeness OR shyness. And it is really hard to know the difference and not be insulted when somebody acts this way around you. Am I too ugly for you to bother looking at me? Or are you just too shy to make eye contact?

Sometimes we get crushes on people who we know we would never have the confidence to speak to because they are safe in a way. We know that we will never have to face intimacy with them so they are a safe target to be attracted to. Whereas if we crushed on someone we actually had a chance with that might result in having to expose oneself both physically and emotionally.
I often approach people I think are e shy but I feel like I end up doing all the talking and that they are probably overwhelmed by me and so I feel foolish . . .but ye you do sound like a really nice guy so I won't give up!

being shy and attractive usually makes us think you're not interested. mainly because a lot of the attractive guys out there are so over confident and borderline cocky. those guys approach girls no problem, which gets us used to that.

i know what you're saying and it sucks. because yea. if we could meet the shyer nicer guys in the beginning it would save everyone some heartache.

i had a good guy friend who was friends with a really shy but AMAZING guy. he never approached women but didn't shun them if they came up to him. the problem is not many women do that. we went out with him one night and when we saw a girl checking him out, we started talking to her and told her she should meet our friend. we dominated most of the conversation but after a while, he started to get into a bit more and she wound up giving him her number!

get your friends in on it. or try approaching a girl who checks you, makes eye contact, smiles. not all of us are rude to men who approach us, especially if you do it kindly. confidence is sexy, but not everything.

Shyness in men often comes across as disinterest. Shyer guys should take more responsibility and make sure that they are sending accurate signals of interest to women. You said you would want her to give you a legitimate chance and give you time to get comfortable with her and to be yourself. How long does that take? Chemistry is crucial for attraction. Just like a woman you don't find attractive couldn't expect you to just give her time so her looks could grow on you lol guys can't really expect women to wait around until they finally open up. It takes two.

You have to remember that your shyness may come off as disinterest or standoffish. Women aren't mind readers and are just as afraid of rejection as the everyone else. How are girls supposed to know you're interested if there are very few signs of interest? They don't know you, and can't tell from the initial introduction that you're a great guy waiting to be discovered.
This problem is true for both sexes - there are just as many shy girls out there who just ache for the chance to show that they are just as great as the more outgoing girls.
You can't expect the opposite sex to do the majority of work - it may be a chore to get over your shyness but in order to get what you want in life you have to overcome some obstacles.
There are plenty of women who can offer fidelity, love, and devotion but fly under the radar as well. Instead of looking for a woman that is willing to delve a little deeper maybe you can do the same to women who feel they don't get enough attention either.

Good luck.

im actually in a weird situation, I'm a good/shy type girl and fell for a bad-boy a couple of years ago, there were misunderstanding and hot cold mind games, we both hated each other, then missed each other, then made up, and still even developed more feelings for one another as misunderstandings were cleared, and now were like starting over, and he's a changed man! he's not even outgoing, loud mouth, popular bad boy anymore, he's a studious, decent mr. shy guy! I can't believe its him, and since I tend to be on the shy guy, were having a tough time breaking the edge...

anyways...i like the new change in him! I can relate to him more and feel more confident in approaching him now...shy guys are awesome ppl, I hope shy girls are too lol! ;]

YES! That is why I really love shy guys, because they are more real. I always think the shy guy keeping to himself is adorable, and I think there must be something intellectual going on in that head of his. I love the moment when I can finally get them to open up, and they just won't shutup-too cute. I am happy to know that guys like you do exist in this world! Trust me, you will find a girl that thinks you are amazing!

dude well I'm sort of in the same boat with the shyness and workin on it...a lot of times there's this feeling that "if I could just have her then she'd truly know" but it's probably not going to happen if a guy doesn't just step up...think about it...is she going to want a man who's scared to step up? good luck

"I just think if more women actually took the chance to get to know me, they'd find a whole lot to like, and gave me some time to fully open up."
You've something to do too!
If you gave more women the possibility to get to know YOU, if you opened up in time, not too fast, not too late, you'd find a lot of women to like.

Of course they would. Some girls like shy guys but let's face the facts, just by observation alone we can tell that probably like 95% of girls go for the more open guys. I wish it was not that way but we can't hide the truth. One great thing is hanging out with friends. If you have any wild friends, be around them sometimes in public. If there is a girl or two around, you can open up and express yourself. This could be one way of finding a girl and letting her see that you exist. Haha. Just hang in there man. An opportunity will reveal itself

relationships with shy people can be more work, especially for women.

Yes, but it goes against their instincts to find a strong, dominant male, so it will never happen.

I think there are some girls (and not nearly as many as you'd think) that love the guy who walks around yelling, being the center of attention, and backslapping everybody. They feel like they can work him into caring more about them than everyone else, and then they will be the most special of the 1000s of people he BSes with. These guys are typically out to take advantage of the girl, and she'll end up hurt. I personally think there is a small subset of girls that only base their self-worth (which is inherently very low) on having the most overtly social, flamboyant people like them. Of course, most guys who are willing and able to fill that role just want to bump and run and don't really fit what the girl wants.

Look, some girls are immature. There are a lot of good girls out there who go unnoticed because the attention cravers take the spotlight. I do think if girls followed the advice that works for decent guys talking to decent girls, they'd find more good guys. That advice is to start casual conversations in everday situations. My now fiance and I met when we were both traveling on our own and she asked me to take her picture. She didn't have any big reason to talk to me and it was very casual, just like how decent yet socially proficient guys who want relationships approach girls. The overly flashy, pick-up artist approach, done by either sex, usually doesn't lead to much beyond a casual relationship, at least from everything I've seen.

Look, we live in a society where girls are trained from prepubescence to be super-thin and to get by on their looks. Girls who don't follow this social protocol aren't popular in school. So girls, who are social by nature, often follow this protocol and it makes them insecure. That's why there are lots of insecure girls who seek out guys who appear to be in demand, to make themselves feel better. But rather than argue with reality, find a girl who likes you for who you are, and don't spend too much time pumping yourself up as superior, or trying to tell people that "confidence is manipulation". If you spend your efforts being sociable but not crazy, you'll find a great, mature, healthy girl you can have a healthy, fulfilling relationship with, which is usually what truly shy, sensitive guys want. On the other hand, there are some guys who call themselves "nice guys" merely because women don't like them, but are very passive aggressive and resentful. Don't be that guy. Focus on finding what you want and ignore the girls whose behavior will only hurt them in the long run. You'll be able to have something much deeper than they will.

I know what you mean.i used to be like you but I changed my mindset and thoughts when approaching new people and girls ,but lately there's this girl in my class that I can't even talk to (I start shaking too) and when I did I get no answer just shrugs,i felt so ashamed,but she seemed very shy because she only talked to 2 other people. But I maned up and forced myself not to give up and now I got a date with her.

I completely agree one thousand percent; however, most of the girls I have gotten by being reserved have been nothing short of bottom of the food chain due to their low self esteem. I know where you are coming from and the same goes for shy girls. Just keep your options open and don't get discouraged, your not the only one.

What I'm getting from the question is this unfortunate notion: that women are just out to please themselves physically, without much in the way of emotional or intellectual gratifification. This is mistaken. Women are like men -- although they have a history of seeming far more senusual, illogical, passionate, flighty, a modern well-balanced woman is much the same as a well-balanced man: they want good things in every sphere of their life, not just sexually.

With this mind, a self-respecting woman will not just pick up some shy, sensitive, sweet guy because he's not very stimulating for her. She wants a guy who is robust, well-developed. She wants more than just a complacent piece of meat.

Hope this helps!

Definitely, definitely, definitely.

yes but women have been pounded by society and genetics into believing a Confident jerk is more attractive than a shy world class winner. (Sure looks factor in there too but for the most part this is almost always true) that's why all the "pick up guides" that work center around being a super confident jerk. Make the woman think you're in control and it would benefit her to be with you (maybe she can even fix you with her love and make you not such a jerk). It makes me want to vomit but it works more than it doesn't.

I sure hope you're right, I'm in the same boat as you

Your going have to be more outgoing if you want to get noticed.
I use to be shy and I still am a little but now I put myself out there.

50% or more of the girls who answered are lying.
You gotta understand that most girls are going to pick the outgoing guy over the shy guy.

goodluck

You say you get complimented on your looks so you have a plus side immediately.
Overall I would say yes but think of how it is for those who aren't an oil painting and are so quiet they don't have a personality that shines.

But again, yes it's common sense that if girls went for the quiet shy and not so great looking guys they stand a much better chance of avoiding lousy relationships.
There's a reason why jerks who get all the girls are more likely to be jerks and that's simply because they feel the girl should count herself lucky as he can get attention elsewhere easily.
Those left on the shelf are generally nicer guys and appreciate their girl and work harder to make it work.

Let me put it to you like this. If you're shy, and you think you have something good to offer, then doesn't your shyness get in the way of that. It's not that women don't like the shy guys and won't give them a chance, but the shy guys don't put themselves out there. Therefore, they don't get noticed.

excellent question... (5 stars) I'm in the same boat as you, I'm a nice, shy, quiet guy that girls pass by as if I didn't exist at all.

Perhaps. But you know.. You'd have to say the same thing about shy girls then.

But honestly.. If you're shy, you have to learn to break out of the shell. Shy guy or girl or not.. You're less likely to be approached if you're shy (sometimes it can show that you lack confidence in yourself, and it could make you less approachable).

You sound like your pleading a little. There's no need. It's well noticeable your a nice guy. So there's no reason say otherwise. Sadly, we can't deny that most women, especially attractive women, go for the bad boy type. You have to realize the differences between the bad boy and the nice guy. The main one is confidence. You already admitted your shy and take some getting used to when meeting new people. Your gonna have to overcome this barrier. Women like the bad boy type because they are full of confidence and most of all because they are risk takers. In my personal opinion, I don't think they really know a man is the "bad boy" type, but they do like the attention that someone who is after them gives them. And most of the time, the men after them, are the bad boy type. So start learning to be more aggressive. There's little reason to change anything else except that. Adopt a more relaxing and calm attitude about meeting women, and combine this with a more aggressive approach. Realize that if you don't take risks, you'll never "win".

Did I post this question? Sounds like me. I'm nice, caring, and funny, but when I first meet a girl that I like, I have inability to show those qualties until I feel more comfortable. I'm on the same boat as you. Hope you find someone soon.

Shy guys need to man up and start talking to girls. I used to be shy and I still am to an extent, but I have no problem talking to girls when I have a chance. Make things happen, don't sit back hoping.

In general I'd say it's a fair statement. Shy guys aren't used to the attention and tend to be open, nice and not play games - straight forward.

Im the exact same, And I think the same I wish girls would just give us a chance. I hear my friends saying nice things about me all the time & at the same time I hear other friends complain about the bfs and when I ask them out they say ur just not my type. But how do they know they haven't taken the time to try and get to know me. Somtimes ladies just don't know that the best person for them is standing in front of them because they just don't take the time to get to know you.