How can I develop a more sophisticated screening process?

Friends first is a great practice. It allows you to really get to know the person before dating them. My husband and I were friends for four years before dating (then dated four years before marrying). It's something I have done with all of my relationships, and honestly, it did not leave me disappointed in any of them really (they were all long lasting relationships). It is also a good way to meet more girls without having the pressures that dating may bring (taking them out to restaurants, having disagreements about whether or not to be exclusive, etc. etc.).

Another tip - you probably won't get very many responses to this question. You seem relatively articulate - it might be helpful for you to repost this with a different title. It is obvious that you are frustrated so maybe writing something along those lines would be more appropriate :) I could be completely wrong, but if you find you aren't getting very many answers, the suggestion may help.

Good luck!

Who doesn't want someone that wants to be with them? I think that if a girl isn't over her ex, doesn't want to be with you, or, as you said, are crazy, well, you're better off without them. It's better to be in a healthy relationship with, yes, someone who wants you over someone who is currrently experiencing any of those problems. And it doesn't make you look like an a**hole to want someone that you are compatible with. Everyone needs that type of relationship in their life.