Guys, do you think it's a turn off if a girl doesn't want you buying her stuff?

its not a turn off, in fact I would think most guys would prefer this type of girl.


There are some guys who don't like it when a girl is like this.


These guys have man issues. If a girl doesn't like things being bought for her, then
he can't just buy her things when there's a problem. He can't just throw money at it,
and thus he's lost one of his power resources.


To get her something special, that she mentioned a while ago, like if she said she likes doves, then you got her a dove necklace made with a jewel from her home town with her initials engraved on it or something meaningful like that, then that's cool I think.

but going shopping and just buying her meaningless things like jackets shoes and dresses and jewelry is kind of pointless. It doesn't make her like you any more. Any guy can by a girl stuff, there's nothing special about it.



Any guy that need to buy a girls things to keep keep his manhood in check needs to check and see if there's a tampon string between his legs.
Aww she won't let you buy her material things, you poor guy, did she hurt your man feelings.

A guy buying things for the lady in his life is just something a guy likes to do.

I've not encountered a situation like the one you are mentioning. But if I did, it would not feel good. When I have someone special in my life, I like to do what I can to take care of her, and often that will include spening money.

Dinner together costs money, and so do dates and traveling. I don't mind paying, and in fact I like to pay ( although I don't broadcast it ).

If I were to run into a woman who doesn't like the guy to pay, it might be some kind of hang-up that she has about men, and it would be a turn-off to me.

it really wouldn't hurt if you let your man buy you stuff every now and then.. and it really makes a guy feel good if he sees you happy with what you got.

During the initial courtship phase, the guy should offer to pay and the woman should gladly accept.

BUT...

...that only should last a few dates. After that, it's nice to just take turns picking up the tab. With my ex, we used to take turns taking the other person out. It made it fun picking a place and treating the other person and not having to keep track of who last paid, or how much it was etc. There was no formula to it. It was just: "Hey, tonight I'm taking you to this restaurant I saw on TV. I hope you're hungry." Conversely, I enjoyed being treated as well. Neither person feels abused this way.

I would expect the amount of money spent on the other person to total roughly the same in either direction, (unless one person is significantly poorer). Otherwise it sorta is like you're "buying" her. On the other hand, I definitely have to agree that random gifts should be allowed. Gifts can be an important form of affection, it would be great if it were mutual (as long as you don't get into some sort of escalating gift war).

Theoretically the love you give each other is worth much more than any physical goods, so gust as long as you don't stress over it.

not really interested in that, just honesty and loyalty, that's all I need because everything else can be found else where

A turn on, it shows that she is independent and offering to be equal to me in everything, and it really tells a lot about the girl financially in general and lets me determine what kind of girls she is going to be if we got married or anything.

Turn on.

Its no big deal.. manhood is taken away only when the man gives it away.. when a girl doesn't want me buying her stuff, I still do.. lol if she gets me something in return, its fine.. if she doesn't that's fine too.. but I feel like I wanna give her something out of affection without wanting anything in return.. and all I can do is hope she understands that.

i used to date a girl who would never let me take her out somewhere unless she either paid for herself or she paid for me the next time we went out. it seemed unusual at first but once I got used to it I grew to love it and respect it. and I would definitely like to be with a girl like that again. as far as taking his manhood away, sure, it does if he's really old school and somehow relates his worth as a man to his ability to provide, but the world is leaving that as women grow more independent and able to provide for themselves and a lot of us men welcome that change.

There definitely needs to be more girls like you, keep up the good work ;)

Personally, I like it when a girl goes against convention and doesn't let me get away with suffocating her with gifts. It's kinda sassy, in a good way.

On the other hand, I don't like being in a position where I see something wonderful that I'd really like to get for my lady and have to think "hmm, I'd better not - she doesn't like getting stuff".

Being able to receive a gift is just like being able to receive a compliment. You need to be confident enough in yourself to be able to just say "thank you". Gifts are given out of affection, caring and thought - rejecting them or making the person feel bad for having bought them takes away the joy of giving.

So in short: feel free to make it clear that you're not really into gifts. But if your fella does get you something occasionally, understand that he did it because he cares about you, not because he's trying to 'buy' you and that you're not leeching off him. Accept it with a smile and surprise him with something awesome later :).

It doesn't matter to me if she doesn't want me to. Its my money Ill do what I want with it. Ill buy her a kayak if I want to. Lol

definite turn off for me, its less of hurting my manhood and just overall hurting my feelings in general.

Less money for me to spend!

in a way it does take it away. this is what he feels he needs to do, what ever the reason. the problem comes if he's buying you stuff just to keep you from getting away. tell him your feelings and where you come from. if he insists on still buying you stuff, ask him why. make sure its for the right reasons.

It's good and bad. It's good because the guy will know for a fact that you aren't a gold digger. On the other hand though, let him buy you something if he wants to. His manhood will still be intact even if you say no to gifts, but he wonder why you won't accept them.

It doesn't bother me If a girl doesn't want me buying her stuff. It's her choice, I only do it because I am trying to be nice and make her feel special, not because of my 'manhood'.

If it takes his manhood away, he didn't have much to begin with. However if giving gifts is one of his 'love languages' it may be disappointing to him if you turn things down, as the gifts equate on some level to his love. A compromise should be reached if that is the case. Maybe just deal with it on special occasions and the every now and then just because gift. He should respect your feelings of awkwardness receiving such gifts, as you should respect his feelings of wanting to give you such gifts.

My boyfriend gets mad when I don't let him buy me / pay for stuff for me because he says he likes to make sure he's taking care of me and he likes when I get really excited with whatever he gets me.

I'm very similar with my boyfriend haha, he always wants to buy me stuff and I always say no; he usually buys it anyway though :/
It's sweet and I appreciate that he wants to take care of me, but I just feel like his money could be better spent, especially since he doesn't make a whole lot. And it feels kind of unfair when he doesn't want me to buy him anything xp
I guess it could be more about showing affection, that makes more sense to me. Guys just want to feel like they're taking care of you since they love you, I suppose hah.

Just wanted to see the result so voted, hehe yup as I guessed they don't mind lol !

My boyfriend of three months won't let me buy anything. He's even tried to give me money for gas for how often I drive to his house!
It took convincing for him to split some costs with me. I think he may think that since I'm in college I instantly have no money. He does accept gifts from me though, I bought him a comic book and a shirt.
Any tips for getting him to be more sensible? Lol. It's not like he's making big money that he can throw away so easily.

i feel like that's stupid. for some reason a lot of girls have this idea like "oh I'm not gonna let him spend any money on me I wanna impress him and show him how cool I am by being the independent woman!". no one is saying be a gold digger but if a guy really likes you its not a big deal for him to spend a little money on you. one time I was at lunch and a guy offered to pay for me, I said no and it was like rejection for him. you are not a leech by letting your boyfriend pay for you so don't think of it that way. some guys want to feel like they are taking care if their girlfriend so yeah they may feel as if you are taking their manhood away by not letting him pay for you.