So I know this has been answered many times, but I will ask it anyways.
A problem I have been dealing with for many years is that I start talking to a girl, and very quickly things start looking good attraction wise. They say they are into me, and sometimes even their friends know that. But there's a very definite trend where they seem to be interested in me, but I almost always get the "I suddenly stopped liking you" or, "I'm still into my ex." Even though their ex would cheat on them and lie constantly. And when I try to ask why they did so, just to get some closure, 90% of the time they would ignore the question and pretty much act like I never existed. Like I never lie to them, and would most certainly never cheat on them, so I don't get why I wouldn't be the perfect companion.
Then with my friends, they say, I don't really know why and I can't tell you what to do to change that. Like, I am an attractive guy, and people remind me of that very often. And they say I'm a really nice friend and very hospitable when they come over to my house. I am very generous, and try to make them happy even if I have to sacrifice my own well being.
I don't want this to sound like a soap box, and I'm still pretty young in the grand scheme of things (I'm 21) but the fact I'm the only person in my family that isn't married kind of gets to me. If you look at the age my sister and step-sister were married, I am older than both of them when that happened with them. Like I've seen both of them start a relationship with their companion, and then get engaged/married, while in that complete time span, I would not even have a single date or anything.
I really want to be able to ask them why that happens, but when I can never get an answer, it really kills me. I can only say it's not been this way once in my entire life, and that was with my ex neatly 4 years ago.
Well sorry I went off on a tangent about my own personal issues, but this is something I really want to solve, or at least find a way to ask them what is up with the way they feel.
Update: Update: I never said I wanted to get married or anything even close. I just mentioned that the fact of that does exist.
20 days ago
hm well sometimes we get to know a guy and then just don't see ourselves with them? you know, like I liked a guy everything went well but certain things turned me off, in his case like noticed he is too flirty too many friends that are girls and in my case I just don't like it, I know down the road this will be an issue hence I am jel. type. ... and now you are good looking that's good, but don't bee too nice, being hospitable is good and generous, but don't try and make people happy to sacrifice your own well being. I noticed that if you put yourself first, go do what you like, say what you think, go after what you want, stop worrying about others and girls will notice you more. Honestly I used to be the same, sure good looking, always nice etc. now well I do me! I am still nice, but I put myself first. Go out have fun, flirt with girls, and don't concentrate on finding the one. because sometimes when you meet a girl, you just want her to be the one, that girl and she can sense that and kind of back off. Take it easy, hang out with them, date girls, don't expect that she is the girl for you, so try not to be attached so fast. girls like guys that have a lot of things going on with them, go with your business, show interest but not too much, will make her wonder more about you, you know. we like guys that are not too much in to us, make a girl work a little for your attention. don't do all the work yourself.
See that's the problem-you're just a nice friend to them. Girls in their twenties view guys in two cartegories: badboy (which they find hot) or the nice guy (who they think is a bit of a pushover). I know that's very generalised but I've always ended up going for badboys too! I really would like someone "in between", just someone being themselves not a total asshole but not really sappy and telling me they love me when they barely know me. I wouldn't say I loved someone before a year because how do I know its not just lust talking?and I hate sappy messages with kisses etc. I'm affectionate but I lose respect when I see those texts!
You're only 21 and you want to get married? Are you crazy boy? You don't have to marry a girl you date. Please don't become a badboy though. What I would say is just to take things slower in a relationship, give it a chance to develop. It sounds like you're suffocating the girls which is why they break things off with u. Don't be clingy and needy. Be independent- date the girl sure but have your own interests and own life too. They are into you at the start but then you make it too intense. I know because I've done the exact same thing wit guys too in the past! You have to be nice but firm. If you're seen as too nice, then you ARE considered a pushover. You don't want to be in the "friend" zone with someone you like because that's all you'll be. If I fancy someone, I want sparks, excitement. Confidence. Not someone who I know I can manipulate to a certain extent. You have to think "well what do I want?" and be a bit more selfish instead of helping them out and trying to please them. Please yourself and get what you want.
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 21 days ago
When: 21 days ago
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