Long-distance exclusivity?

Question

I met a guy from online and we hit it off really well, except he lives 6 hours away. I've seen him on two occasions since he's had business in my town. We spent the last few days together and we text/talk all day everyday. Yet we were having a small discussion on seeing each other and this is obviously something we can't just "go with the flow" on because there is intention when driving that far to see someone...and the amount of talking we do. He knows this but didn't want to get into a "commitment" talk, neither do I believe me, but it all seems illogical to just keep it so ambiguous for a long-distance thing, even though I know it's WAY too early to define anything.

Should I ask him if we're being exclusive or not so soon? With him not close by I could go out on other dates and whatnot, should I bring this up with him beforehand or just go on dates?

yeths · Accepted Answer

I think he likes the fact that it's long distance, and as well as you both get along, don't be too shy to say what you expect and leave things up in the air,he would just love that, since there are no rules.

There is no shame these days with all that is going on and condoms not even being 100% safe, to want to date someone exclusively especially if you see a future. If you really think it's too soon then wait a little and If after that he says 'it's too soon' or 'no' then that is a red flag added to the one he raised when he didn't want to discuss commitment.

Be open minded as much as you like him, he could just be a (pervert) who learned proper etiquette and knows all the things a woman wants to hear but is looking for a woman to be with every once in a while when he's in town. These kinds could carry on with this behavior as long as you allow them to. That is just my view.

airiver · Accepted Answer

I think long distance affairs are difficult at best...but for the sake of your relationship, I would let him know that your intent is to "Date" others...You could harm the trust if you don't...But how do you feel?  You say "Should I ask him"... Don't leave it completely up to him...  Do you want to be exclusive to him or do you want to date others also?...  You likely already know your own answer.  How long have you been in this relationship?  What do you mean he didn't want to get into the "Commitment" talk?  That just strikes me as a bit odd...

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

if you want to be exclusive than ask him otherwise don't bring it up., my boyfriend lives 5 hours away and it is hard but weve been dating for 3 years he's originally from my town. everything is fine you just have to be willing to work at it, be careful.

Julian · Accepted Answer

1. Don't have sex with him.

2. Tell him what YOU need, don't ask him what he needs.

Do you need commitment? If so, tell him that. Do you want to have some flexibility to see other guys, or gals? If so, tell him that too.

Don't arrange your life around any guy. Believe me, most guys won't arrange their lives around you or any other woman. There are some who will, and maybe many of the guys on this site are more the type of guy who will. But in my experience, or as a straight guy once said to me... and he was one of the better/more respectful guys to women... "All men are dogs!" He wasn't kidding. He wasn't exactly correct either, but when straight guys spill the news on each other, it's rarely pretty.

Figure out what you want, and let him know. And ask him where he's at with what you just presented to him.

clevername · Accepted Answer

Married? No. You can not cheat unless you have made an agreement to be exclusive. Talk to him about what you both want.

Long-distance exclusivity?

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