Is there a way for a girl to ask exactly what she and you are (FWB, dating, etc) without garnering the defensive reaction from the guy and making the girl seem desperate or clingy?
Well be confident about it. Keep him at ease and reassure him that you are comfortable where you are currently at. Let him know you don't want to make things awkward and the moment the conversation starts to get weird be ready to change the subject.
Hmmm. I think that's going to depend on the person and their personality. Everyone is going to react differently to being asked that magic question. Its an awkward conversation but the next time you're with someone and want to ask it, then maybe you just do just that. In a nonchalant tone tell them you are asking out of curiosity. Or say that you're best friend asked what you guys were the other day and you didn't know what to say. See what he says. Don't know. That's a hard one.
Not really. If the guy is prone to being freaked out by such questions, there's just no getting around it. Just try to ask in the least dramatic way possible, and don't freak out if you don't get the answer you want.
I would also add that usually if you're something above FWB, you'd know.
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Describe your ideal first date; Where do you go? What do you wear? How does the date end?
Hmm, Id say...Like to a movie and out to eat at applebees or somewhere. -as long as were having fun. I'm alright with whatever it may be that I'm doing.
Afterwards..what will your date know about you?
Probably a lot. I love to ask questions to get to know them and ill ask any questions they have for me.