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Partyyyprince

How to escape the friend zone?

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Partyyyprince (Age:18 to 24)     When: 6 months ago
Views: 350     Category: Dating
Girls, once again I need your advice!
How do you escape or don't even come into the friend zone with women?
On what factors do girls depend if they just want to be friends?
Do you need to be more sexually aggressive?
Thx in advance!

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Nutz76
1728  
Nutz76 (Age:30 to 35)      When: 6 months ago
Avoid her for a week or two, then start talking, but use more sexual language and touch her more. You need to build attraction, which is what's lacking. There's more to it than that, so if you want more advice just reply.

Now if you're the stereotypical guy who wants to get with the girl he's friend with, often called a "nice guy", give this a read.
"The Nice Guy---and Why He's Not Nice:
Nice, as used in the community, is way different than nice as used by women.
When the community uses the term, it is a pejorative. But since to most people it's enjoys a positive connotation, I thought a little more definition would be helpful
The "nice" guy likes a girl. He starts by befriending the girl and denying any romantic interest (he figures: I'll prove I like her as a person, not just a romantic interest), secretly taking note of what she likes, and then giving the "perfect" gift along with a confession of his love.

Poor girl! She thought she had a friend, but now she finds out he was just acting the whole time. Alternatively, she is uncomfortably surprised from this lightning bolt out of a seemingly clear blue sky, and is worried about how to save the friendship without hooking up with the guy, perhaps adding to the rejection the caveat, "You're such a nice guy. "

Eventually, she lets him down as easy as she knows how (remember, this is a good, kind girl here), and this guy wonders what he did wrong. He certainly didn't do anything mean; his ears perked up when he heard her complain about guys, and steadfastly worked to avoid doing those things. He figures he's being nice.

The problem is that these guys have a sort of male version of going for commitment too fast. A relationship is a 50-50 venture, but he's gone 90-10, and he's basically trying to pressure her into liking him, claiming (or at least implying) that she "owes" him for all he's done for her. He is trying to force her into liking him, she senses the trap, and she splits.

Then she meets another guy. She regards him as moderately attractive (maybe even LESS attractive than the nice guy), and she figures he'd be worth a date. So they go out, and it's clear that they're on the same page---he had an open Friday night, so, hey, he called her up. Turns out he has a rough edge or two, but nobody has to be perfect. He calls her up for a second date, and again, it's clear to both that this is just a date. She hasn't put that much effort into it, but neither has he. At least he isn't trying to lasso her with guilt.

So when our self-proclaimed nice guy meets this new guy and sees that he's not working as hard as the nice guy did, yet she's dating HIM, he thinks: What? I worked so hard for her! I did everything I could! I even watched her favorite show so I could find something to talk about! What's wrong? Why is she dating that jerk?

The so-called jerk isn't really a jerk; he simply isn't as fawning as the "nice" guy. But the labels have been assigned , and so comes the saying Nice Guys Finish Last.
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Question Asker You my friend are a genious!
It all makes sense! - 6 months ago
thx3188 I agree with all of this totally. I think I may have fallen into this trap recently and I'm trying to see if I can find a way out. It's looking pretty glib. - 2 months ago

What Girls Said

Jessica32
1025  
Jessica32 (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
Well, my "type" is "friend zone" guys :)

I always go for those guys. They are my favorite.

So stay true to who you are, and somebody will come along that will want to be more than friends ;)
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heatherlu
471  
heatherlu (Age:Under 18)      When: 6 months ago
The 'friend zone' is always a hard place to be - especially when you are wanting more out of a relationship.
There are lots of girls that like to be 'friends' with a guy before they enter into a relationship deeper than that with them - but the trouble is making sure you don't become too good friends that it would be damaging to progress the relationship further.
People I know who have made friends with a guy first tend to leave it on a more flirty level. They joke, they confide in one another - but only about certain things, they plan things alone . so things seem to naturally progress.
The problem is when you become too close. Trying to move out of the 'friend zone' then becomes a lot more difficult; they will have come to see you in a different light - not the type of guy they could date - but the brotherly, friend figure. And many girls won't want to lose this - or won't be able to image you in a romantic way.
Try and keep it flirty, don't get far too close, but don't stay too far away. Make it obvious that you have your own friends, but want to spend time with her too.
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Belleza
2737  
Belleza (Age:18 to 24)      When: 6 months ago
mmmhhh . I wouldn't even know how to escape the friend zone see for me before getting into a relationship I would want to be friends first but there's a certain extent as to what to talk about with a guy, I don't why but ok my friend made friends with this guy and he started talking things with her about in which he can confide in with her especially the type of girls he likes and since she entered the friendship relationship - she set her limits to not go out with him because she used to like him and she just wanted to get to know him! But since hr started talking with her in such a way - she decided friends it is! Hope this helped - good luck!
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What Guys Said

logan
22  
logan (Age:18 to 24)      When: 2 months ago
Make them jealous! when they come too close, ignore there advances! when they get frustrated enough. make them more jealous always keep them second guessing. Once they make there move, like they confess there liking for you then you decide whether you want a relationship with them or put them in your friend zone
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JCvarsityFootball
256  
JCvarsityFootball (Age:Under 18)      When: 3 months ago
exactly what nutz76 said.

i can't say it better myself.

u shouldnt b scared 2 pull a move on her bro, don't ponder 2 much on what she likes and what not, you kno?
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