Can I avoid him?

Thank you for being honest with him. There is nothing worse than a women who leaves and disappears and gives absolutely no reason why. It's hell trying to find out what you did wrong.

It would seem that you'd not liked the fact that he smoked pot period! That's trouble brewing right there big time. Add to that going to his house where he takes off his shirt. did you say you just met him? You really didn't owe his any excuses or nothing! Anything you'd write him would only have to be like you said basically that you don't connect with him. You didn't even have to be that nice to him because he sounds like a jerk to me. I just hope that he doesn't contact you anymore nor you start feeling sorry for him. Anything is socially acceptable when you don't want to be dating or messing with a guy anymore especially after only one date. I'm surprised that you even went to his house and stayed there for awhile. Did he have to take you home, because if he did, that must have been very uncomfortable for you? You're afraid if he calls you or whatever you might cave in. cave it to what? Cave in to his pot smoking and taking his shirt off to getting down to business with some dude you just met?

Tell him to shove off. If you ignore him you could hurt him more; making him think he wasn't even worth being told no (its happened to me quite a bit). Your gonna hurt him no matter what you do so take the direct approach which should cause less pain.

Call him back, tell him you didn't think things clicked. Be upfront, but not mean. Don't give excuse answers. And THEN if he can't respect that, then you know you've treated him with enough respect to end things correctly, and THEN you can ignore him, but don't do it before he gives you a good reason.

In business, when I don't get an answer back, I'll call to make sure they got my message. When they don't call back then, I wait a few days, and call them again. few days more, I might show up to give them the information in person; or I call back again.

Frankly, It's left up in the air, and it seems really really immature and irresponsible to ignore someone. And it's a bit frustrating. I don't know if your answering machine is damaged, or if the secretary isn't giving you my messages, or if you're out of town, or if you're sick and can't answer, or if that person is just avoiding me for some reason.

Now, after a few times I DO get the point, and stop bothering, but it not only still wastes my time, but it leaves a "bad taste." I have no interest in dealing with them in the future, because if they treat ME this way, what do they do to their customers? How would they treat someone else? Yes, it gets the job done in that you as the irresponsible representative of the company doesn't have to deal with this person, but it makes you, and the company look irresponsible and rude. And a company should NEVER be able to afford that kind of bad reputation.

Now, if the company tells me right off the bat that they don't have the money, or they're not interested, whatever the case may be, I can now focus my time more effectively on other leads, and stop "wasting" both my time and theirs by continuing to call, or going out there to talk; and yes, I respect that company more for having the respect and decency not to waste my time.

I read in a training course that if you anger a customer, they're going to tell, on average, 20 of their friends; and, you've potentially lost 20 customers. If you make your original customers happy, (here's the ironic part) they only tell, on average, 5 friends. That is, unless you're a spectacular company. Then the amount of good press finally goes up. But you still can't afford to alienate a lot of people unless you've got so many prospects (or "customers") that you would be set for life, and didn't need any more. Even then, you SHOULD still avoid bad customer service. Likewise, even if you've got men coming out from everywhere, falling over themselves in desperation in order to date you, you might have the RIGHT to be rude, but you still SHOULDN'T be rude.

Proper business customer service and manners are similar to dating manners in many respects.

I think that was your best choice. Sometimes the truth hurts more than others. But having the truth is always best. If someone doesn't fit your standards, or there is no chemistry. Just find it in the nicest tactful way to say so. Maybe he will get the idea if many ladies are honest enough to tell him so. Then he can see his actions aren't going to get him a nice lady only ones that would have just gone along with it. If that is what he is looking for and you are not. Then you don't need to worry about what you did. That was tasteless and you deserve better. You are a better person for just being honest and you will most likely get what your looking for if you stay that way. It is not really socially acceptable but many do just blow people off saying they don't want to hurt their feelings. I think its just rude not to say anything and keeps people wondering what they are doing wrong. Or even if they didn't do anything wrong that there just wasnt chemistry. hope you have better luck next time.

Dating is tough, we all know that. For that reason, when I date a guy, I make sure that he understands that I want to be completely honest with him and would appreciate if he were honest with me. It really helps each other in the long run.

If you just cut the line and stop communicating, then you will just come off as being a "bitch" in his mind. Also, that is kind of immature and you have to face your own truths even if you are afraid of hurting his ego. Cut him some slack and tell him the truth. If the roles were reversed and you were really into a guy and you thought your date went great and then he pulls the plug on you without a head's up, you too would be confused and hurt, yes? And all the while, for weeks or so you will be thinking over and over "what did I do/say wrong?!"

Bottom line, karma. It could happen to you.

By the way, let him off nice. Make sure you let him know that you just did not feel the chemistry and that you are keeping your options open and dating other people. Also, tell him the truth that the whole smoking-out thing sort of left you feeling uncomfortable. He should have known that that was a bad move on a first date if he is a regular smoker. Maybe this behavior is why he does not have a girlfriend. This way you can help him out for his future dates and maybe "show him the light".

Think about what you would want if the situation were reversed. I've been there before, where the guy is TOTALLY not your type, and it would be SO easy to just ignore his calls until he disappears. But, you will feel so much better about the situation if you gently let him know that you're not interested in pursuing a relationship with him. That way, if you see him out, there won't be any awkwardness and he will most likely appreciate your honesty. Good Luck!