Most of us don't want to be with someone that seems to have no need for us. It's not a control thing, it's an affirmation thing. If they couldn't really care less if we're around, then why stick around?
I would say that some girls also want (reasonable) distance and need time on our own, what we don't appreciate is when a guy disappears for an unreasonable time.
Put yourself in our shoes, if you had been dating a girl for quite some time and all of a sudden she just dissapears wouldn't it be natural to at least wonder what happened to her? and why she just stopped existing?, would you even consider IMing her?
Well, afraid isn't the right word.. We're not AFRAID, but what girl wants to feel unwanted? Most girls tend to have low self-esteem, and most of us still strive towards that fairytale romance you see on the big screens. We don't want a jerk who treats us like we're as disposable as used napkins. You don't have to be clingy, but if you want your girl to stick around, try showing a little more appreciation for your lady.
Here's what I always say to my boyfriends, "I don't need you I want you" there's a big difference. I'd rather a guy not be needy because when you're with someone needed you tend to become one person. (You know where people say both your names like one big one like jessicaandjosh or something. ) Keeping your individual identities is the most important thing to me as I'm sure it is to other women. Being an individual doesn't mean ignoring the girl, it just means giving her space.
Needy guys are predictable, I like to be surprised. Guys that are needy are generally too emotional. Honestly, I have no problem boosting a man's ego, but if he is constantly needing me to enable him, I will enable him to be history.
You can control needy guys, but they suck the life out of you. I would much rather have a guy who chooses me over everyone else than a guy who needs me. Chances are if a guy needs you he probably need two or three other girls as well.
As a woman in her late twenties - I must say I would never date a man that needed me. You should never need anyone in your life, you should simply want them there.
I'm a firm believer that you must first be self sufficient and independent before embarking on developing potential long term relationships with others. - Do I want to feel appreciated and wanted, of course - who wouldn't? But needed, definitely not.
If a man were to relay to me that he "needed" me in his life, I would interpret this to mean that he has some sort of instability in his life that which I do not want to be a part of.
I like an independent man - its a good quality to have.
I wouldn't date a guy that didn't need me because then what would be the point in dating you I like to feel special and having a boyfriend that didn't need me would do the apposite
All women love to feel needed. May I suggest an article I wrote earlier? It's called the Art of Being a Woman, and it talks a little bit about what you're asking. Hope it helps.
This is actually funny. One of the questions I asked was "could someone be TO GOOD for another person" and therefor push them away. I guess if a woman wants to be needed and can't find a reasons it is possible that the guy could be "TO GOOD" or "TO PERFECT" - 4 months ago
No but they at least want to feel wanted I mean no one wants to be in a relationship where the other person doesn't want them. I mean I don't want a guy crying the second I leave and jumping with joy when I enter a room but I do want to be wanted. When I haven't seen them all weekend a nice kiss and "i missed you" will always make me smile.
I just want to feel wanted, not needed...my boyfriend says he'd kill himself if I was to die, and I hate that, no one should kill themselves, even if it is for love. I don't like have a lot of control, I prefer the guy to, but he has to be reasonable.
You aren't the romantic type are you? - 6 months ago
Question Asker
I agree with your comment. Thanks :) - 6 months ago
Answerer
I am a romantic type. But I believe I have to try to make it as romantic as I can too(girls can be romantic), and if he does YAY. If not, so what, that's life, you can't have everything you want all the time - 6 months ago
If a guy acts like he doesn't care whether I'm around or not, it's a big turnoff. if I feel like I'm just some replaceable girlfriend then I will start to Not care either (a.k.a. dump you)
Yeah, I do care though. I have been hurt in the past and I guess I have a hard time being emotionally vulnerable, and it doesn't appear like I am emotionally invested. - 6 months ago
Question Asker
I've been thinking about this lately.I know I'm good guy and will hold up my end of the bargain, but I have been burned in the past unless the girl showed her cards first before I showed mine.Thank you for your answer,I guess I am still figuring this out - 6 months ago
I hear you. I want the person and love them, but I don't *need* them.Like,not a I won't be able to live without them kind of thing. I will be able to live, I don't need her to complete me, I am complete, I just want her to walk with me. know what I mean? - 6 months ago
Answerer
I know exactly what you mean.. it just means your extremely independent in a relationship.. but maybe try to let your guard down a bit & open up to her and show your feelings. and dnt tell her that, haha she will leave if you are not needing her =[ - 6 months ago
Nah, because trust me, every guy needs a girl. Just like every girl needs a guy. No matter how independant you are, you are not going to be able to hug youself when you're down or cuddle yourself in bed when you're cold and lonely.
They want a guy who doesn't need them, this only pisses them off and annoys them to a point of where they don't talk to you anymore if your needy, the key is to make them want to need you, how do you do that by not being available all the time.
(Age:25 to 29)
When: 10 months ago
