Should guys pay most of the time while dating?

This is a tricky issue, especially given the way dating and culture have changed over the last 30-40 years. Some guys are old-school gentlemen and will always insist on taking care of the check - I personally think a guy should always at least offer to pay. Ironically, I've met some girls who "don't" want the guy to pay, because they don't want to feel obligated or indebted to him, and they will insist on going "dutch" or splitting the bill. Something my brother and his girlfriend do are alternating who takes care of the check - one will buy lunch and the other will take care of dinner.

As far as conveying that to the guy, that's also tricky. To do so on the date when the check comes without possible awkwardness is near-impossible. I would maybe drop a verbal hint beforehand that you like to date "gentlemen", and hopefully the guy is socially savvy enough to know what you mean, good luck.

I think when a date is starting first, who ever asks first, should pay.

After that, I think it should be dutch

I don't feel like I should pay for EVERY date.. Especially if my date is going sour--I won't waste my money and time on a girl.

i pay no matter who it is - and if they keep stopping me and saying 'no, no, no, I will pay for it' - I will make sure I pay for it... and if the girl does end up paying it for some reason - I will make sure I give her the money for mine and hers...

What happened to women wanting equality? They want equal pay even though they often can not perform equal work, but then they want the guy too pay. I wish you would have given your reason why you think the guy should pay. If you knew me you would know I am very much for equality for women, but I also expect them to perform equally. I have known a few woman who I am just in awe of, they are as good or better at what they do as most men, and I think they should be paid like it.

If you expect the guy to pay, you should tell him that upfront. don't hint, don't say "i forgot my purse at home." tell him "i expect a guy to pay for my dates".

if that's what you truly think, be honest and gutsy enough to "convey that message" by saying it out loud.

yes because its the man's job to be the gentle man and pay for the woman's food or date. just tell him staright out that men are suppose to be the gentle man or just simply say we can't go out anymore and if asks why not just say I don't have any money whatsoever and if he says ok no problem he is a jerk if he tries an alternate soloution tahts your man

Right. Different girls have different beliefs about this. Some girls will go dutch, others want the guy to pay - still I've never met any who would pay the guys way, I guess maybe if I were to date a girl who was much better off than I was it would happen.

Personally I don't want to let a little thing like that get in the way of my getting to know the girl. If I like the girl enough I don't mind if she believes that the guy should pay, and I'll have no problem paying.

My own preference is to go dutch all the time, by default. But if I sense she's the kind who wants the guy to pay the first few times, it's not a dealbreaker for me.

There is nothing wrong or ungentlemanly about a man just because he chooses not to treat women according to a set of rules that were made during a time when women had no rights and were treated as a man's property. Customs such as paying for the woman's meal, opening a door for her, are all bi-products of a mentality people used to have years and years ago that said women were inferior to men.

In my opinion it is only right for the person who planned the date (whether it is the guy OR the girl) to pay, though the other person should at least offer to pay for their own food.

I wouldn't ask a girl out on a date if I didn't have every intention of paying for her food, but if she didn't at least offer to pay for her own food, I would be a bit put off, and possibly not go out with her again. Likewise if she was the one who planned everything and asked me out on a date, I would expect her to at least pay for her own food, and while I would go prepared to pay for my own food, I would expect that she had the intention of paying when she asked.

This is the 21st century. Equality (in EVERY way) is the name of the game in today's world, and there is NO difference whatsoever between what a man's role is and what a woman's role is in a relationship. And you can't say you want equality in one area but not in another. If a woman tried to pull that crap with me I'd throw her out with the garbage. The way I see it, if a woman isn't willing to go with true equality in every respect, with a complete equal division of responsibilities, then she needs to go back to being the man's personal maid, cook, sex toy, and mother of his many children. Anything in between is an unfair double standard.

Sorry, this is just a subject I feel very strongly about.

Anyway, to answer the second part of the question, you need to flat out tell him what your expectations are. Men don't want to try to figure out hints or read signs. If you want something, come out and say it or you may never get it. And don't be surprised if this causes him to cease dating you, because there are a LOT of guys in todays day and age who feel as strongly about this subject as I do.

First date guy always pays, from then on out then it can either or, I went with a girl once and I would pay one weekend and the next when I would go for the check she would say no I am paying you payed last week. I don't think the guy should pay every single time that gets really expensive really fast and most guys are still in high school and college so they don't really have a ton of money to spend.

Most girls offer to pay, when the check comes they always say I can pay for my dinner, and some don't oh man I have been on dates like that where they didn't even offer they say something like well you wanted to take me out this is your date so you should pay.

personally, every time the check for dinner comes, I tell the guy that we should split the bill... that way we are both happy and even, if the guy insist on paying then ill say once more that I don't mind paying for my own meal, but if he keeps insisting I would let him pay (but I'm ok with splitting the check or I pay on one date and he pays on another date)

i do like it when the guy insists on paying because it's very gentlemen like and I'm kinda stuck on the nice and sweet idea of a man being masculine and dominant and taking care of the woman

just so you guys know, if you do pay (at least if you pay for me), it will be much appreciated and in one way or another rewarded XD

In the UK I think this is more normal, but I always go halves. Or I let the guy pay for one thing, and I pay for the next thing.

I know one very eligible, good-looking, generous, well-paid, highly-educated, hilarious friend who has dumped women straight off for expecting him to pay for everything. Its not because he is stingy, its because he wants to be treated as an equal not a meal ticket.

Otherwise you are a glorified prostitute - you are indebted to him, he may feel he bought the right to do x y and z.

Show some self-respect, do you really need a man to pay for stuff? What century is this?

I hate it when women go on about women's rights, then fall back to this sort of behaviour when it suits them.

If you expect him to pay for you, I expect YOU to forsake your right to vote and equal pay!

The person who asked out the other should pay. Although it would totally sweet if the guy would pay regardless of who asked.