So my ex boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago we didn't go out for a very long time. However, even after the split we remained really good friends & he starting seeing his now ex gf. He doesn't seem like he's over her yet. Which is understandable they were seeing each other for a year. I care about him so much and he cares about me. We've hung out numerous times when they were together but never did anything. We just chilled together. But when they broke up we started hanging out more frequently. He has told me numerous times that he still likes me & cares for me. When he is with me we just normally make out. Recently this make out session turned into both of us giving each other hand jobs. This event was a different experience for me since I've never done anything before other then kissing. He knows I'm not into the whole friends with benefits thing..I don't know if I necessarily want to go back out with him though. He has also made it clear that he likes are friendship more. I don't want that too change at all. But when we are around each other we can't seem to keep our hands off eachother. So in a way does this make us friends with benefits? He says that he doesn't see me as just another girl or an FWB. But I'm soo confused about the entire situation.
You're definitley a friend with benefits. If the guy wanted to date you and take you seriously he would do just that. If you still like the guy and want to hang out and be friends do it, but that should be the extent of it. Trust me you continue doing this and it will not change and the minute he meets a girl that he does want to date he will drop you and the 'fun times' you have in a heartbeat. Basically you gotta think about it like this, you're giving him the best of both worlds, he gets to have you around to do all the fun stuff with,without the drama of a relationship with you. Do yourself a giant favor and keep it platonic until he figures out what he really wants from you.
maybe you ought to examine your reasons for not being into fwb. cos it certainly sounds like that's where you are now. You really need to talk about it and come to a consensus and either accept friends with benefits is ok or change the dynamic to something else. This is exactly the sort of situation where not talking about it is gonna ruin the friendship never mind anything more.
I think you still care for him and it is possible to care for him just in a friend way but I don't think that is the case for you. I think you should stop doing stuff with him unless he becomes your boyfriend because if he really likes you and cares for you then he will have no problem going back out wtih you. If he does then I would just get over him because all he is doing is toying with your emotions and feelings. Another thing you should do is try talking to him about it. Either way it should be up to you and what you want. If it was me I would say if he can't date me then he can't have me. If he ends up still not wanting to go out with you then stay friends but just be FRIENDS nothing else. No making out, no nothing. Everything you give him extra he will just think its fine to keep using you for that. Make sure you don't make the mistake of doing what he wants and forget about what you want. If you want to be is girlfriend then make it happen.
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