I randomly ended up at a neighborhood pub one night. Towards the end an attractive guy caught my attention. As I was leaving I approached him (not normal for me).
I should mention it was karaoke night & when he was on stage he made a joke about dedicating the song to one of the women in the bar he was going to sleep with that night. He came across as non-offensive and was actually quite talented and funny. Obviously caught my attention.
I told him I enjoyed his performance, then I whispered he shouldn't tease girls with offers he didn't intend to follow through with. He took a good look at me - as good as someone who had a few drinks in a dark bar could - then said he would definitely follow through. I said I was more interested in a rain check & he asked for my number. His friends started harassing him for "hitting on the hottest chick in the bar" (nice wingmen? lol) but I corrected them and said I was actually hitting on him.
I left not knowing if I'd really ever hear from him, but not thinking it mattered knowing how drunk boys in bars can be.
15 min later he called me.
I agreed to meet him (wanted to see him in better lighting). Over the phone he warned me he intended to make out with me. When we saw each other, the first thing he said was, "oh shit." I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't realize how hot I really was at the bar. (never had a guy call me hot before, and not to diminish his opinion, but he was a bit drunk but seemed sincere)
We talked & made out - which was amazing - by now I'm thinking about cashing in that rain check a little sooner. I decided to lay it all out there - I don't enjoy playing games (though I'm learning there always seems to be one to be played at the start of every relationship).
I learned his ex cheated on him with his friend/neighbor & he only broke up with her 3 weeks before.
So I asked if he'd be interested in a friends w/benefits package. 'Course, he said yes. I asked if he'd answer if I called him after that night, he first said no but changed his mind & said he probably would, esp. if we were going to be friends w/benefits. By then though, he admitted part of him wished he hadn't sworn off women (his new yrs res. & why he 1st said no).
So we had sex... and it was AMAZING... for BOTH of us! I tried something on him I had only read about and apparently it was so unexpectedly amazing and intense for him he even had to stop me for a sec. No woman had ever done that to him before.
Between sessions we'd talk. At one point he stopped me, looked in my eyes & told me he was really connecting with me. The feelings were mutual.
Fast fwd I've let 2.5 weeks go by (been busy). I think he called a couple times, but didn't leave a msg. I know I said I'd call, but I wanted to let some time pass so he could heal a little more.
I'm sending him a sexy pic msg (not a nude) on Mon. to call me. (or should I call?)
How do you think he'll react? Can we turn this in to more than just sex?
Update: To give you a little more insight, we're both aware that random hook-ups/one-nighters are NOT normal for either of us. Also, if it makes a difference he's 30 and a few years younger than me.
11 months ago
I think it's completely possible to have more with him than just benefits. Definitely don't hesitate calling him back... good things have a way of getting away from us! I think if you're liking him as more than just a friend you should let him know but also say there's no pressure.
I think he'll have a positive reaction and be glad you're being upfront with him. After a bad breakup the last thing anyone wants is someone playing games. Being honest is always the best option... especially in this scenario... good luck!!
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