I have been talking or going out with a guy for about five months now. But I've known him for many years. But we've just gotten really close.
It's long distance but we have seen each other almost every other week when he comes to visit his family. We have spent nights together, we have so much in common, when we talk we laugh so much and when were together we can't keep our eyes off each other and it's like were two teenagers, we just have fun.
I have two kids and he has none. I'm getting a divorce. I really wasn't looking for anyone but it happened. I always let him know how I feel about him. So he knows I do like him. He tells me he likes me too.
His friends have told me he really likes me, that he's liked me since we first met years ago. That he's sensitive and scared of getting hurt. He's a really good guy. That he talks about me at work all day. He shows no pics to everyone and he told me he does that too. He told me once that when he listens to his fav band that sometimes it makes him cry and he just thinks about stuff. And then he told me that when he listens to that band that he thinks of me. He tells me to listen to some of their songs and they are happy songs and love songs. So I guess he's telling me he likes me. He has told me I make him feel good inside and young. When were in bed just talking and hugging he sometimes tells me it feels so good and comfy and wouldn't mind doing that every night.
He told me that when he moves back here we can hang out more. He's so east to talk to and he listens to what I say. He's always telling me I'm beautiful and a great person to be around and that he can tell me anything. I really love him.
The problem is were not boyfriend/girlfriend I don't know if he thinks we are or what. We are both a little shy and when we get together we are so nervous that we take a long time to kiss or just hug each other. When we do it I am so scared of doing something wrong that I just hold back a little. There are so many things I wanna do but I just don't sometimes. I feel like he does to sometimes. But it's always sweet and slow. He doesn't rush anything and after we talk for hours.
This past week he has not called me once and has sent me like three texts. Before he called me at least once a day and text me all day everyday. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was just stressed out because of work and he's been busy.
So my question is after everything we've done and said could he just have lost interest that fast and just maybe found someone else? Or am I just being retarded and he does really like me and he could just be busy?
Update: thanks for all of you're comments. well he just moved back and we are talking more and I feel we are getting closer.
5 months ago
I've had the same situation. Just finished a divorce last January and have 2 kids. My guy is doing the same thing. I don't know if it is the distance or not. Either way, we were communicating via phone and having initimate texting. All of a sudden, after he tells me he misses me, he starts getting distant. Not calling as much etc...same as your story. What I figure is he is a typical guy that just needs some space or man cave time to figure out his feelings. I think it scared him to think that he actually did miss me and like anyone who has been hurt before, he is not sure what to do. Taking is slow should be your mantra, especially when you have children and are newly divorced. You certainly do not want your children to bond with some guy and then have him disappear-hard on you and the kids...take it slowly, but surely. I have read that it is typical for guys to pull away when they start to realize they are falling in love. I guess if they love you enough they come back.
well honestly I'm in the same situation right now. he left 2 months ago to mexico. its been hard the 1st few weeks. knowing I got so used to seeing my boyfriend and talking to him everyday. and I've learned that it will work out very well if you and your partner would try to talk to each other everyday at least for an hour or so. yes the phone bills may come up to $500 or more. but there's a different way to cummunicate with one another. you can install on your computer, Skype on link which will give you free calls anywhere you want. what I mostly love to do is tell my boyfriend to watch a specific movie that I wana watch, go rent it and watch it at a persice timing and when the movies finish you guys can call each other and talk about the movie. it will make it seem like you 2 were watching the movie together. not only that, having to send letters, pictures, poems, books... etc. just to show them that they are special and you do still care and remember them. what's best bout long distance relationships you can always surprise your lover. plan a trip to see him without him knowing your going to see him. that will extremely make things more interisting between you too. yes having having to sacrafice and do things for one special person is crazy. but knowing what you feel for them won't change you mind about anything. however keep in mind there's still a chance he may get to know new friends so I consider when being in a lond distance relationship you got to trust each other. ALWAYS speak to each other motionally and physically. NEVER KEEP THINGS BOTTLED IN... IT WILL SURELY RUIN THE RELATIONSHIPSOONER THEN YOU EXPECT. don't ever got to soft with him. make him to keep in mind your being honest and trust worthy to him. always keep rules to eachother. most relationships don't make rules and ends up throwing the relationship away. another thing if your thinking of being in a relationship like this it wouldn't be a good idea if your a bussy, always on the go person. if you know you got time for someone else then try it. I believe long distance relationship is a great challange to keep each other strong and true. if you too make it then anything that gets in your way will be impossible to separat you two. always remember DISTANCE MEANS SO LITTLE WHEN SOMEONE MEANS SO MUCH. if things don't work out then GOOD THINGS FALL APART SO BETTER THINGS CAN FALL TOGETHER. -Shorty? p.s. we been together for a year and still are and hopefully til we get married
Wow. Well the way you make it sound, he really does seem very in to you. He seems like a really nice guy. My only problem is why has he slacked on the communication front? I understand that work may hinder you tremendously, but, it also makes me wonder what else he may have going on or what he may be having to ponder over.
I'm not really sure how to help you out here, I'm like you, what happened. However I wouldn't give up on him maybe work is really stressing him out. I would probably give him the benefit of the doubt.
As for you, I know that you are going through a tough time with your divorce and you don't want to rush into anything, but I would probably be a little more assertive. He sounds like the guy of your dreams and if it were me, I would give it all I had.
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(Age:25 to 29)
When: 7 months ago
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