I have really frustrating dilemma. About a month ago, I started flirting with this cute guy and around the same time became best friends with with this great girl, both of them I met in two different social circles. Finally, after a few weeks the guy asked me out on a date I was so excited to tell my friend,but when I did she flipped. I was like ,WHAT? She proceeded to tell me that they used to date and he's lousy and so on. After our long discussion, she told me I can date whoever I want, but she just doesn't want anything to do with it or him. I'm so torn. I don't want this drama in my life but I also don't want to miss out on a great guy. I didn't even know either of them when they dated I just fell into a crappy situation. I want to keep my good friend and also dated this great guy. Is he off limits now?
My rule I follow myself is never date someone that one of my friends has dated. I don't do that. However, in this case, it sounds like you met the guy first. That's fine. I say you can date the guy. It was really crappy that your so called new best friend told you about her history with him. Unless he did something uber mean to this new friend of yours she shouldn't have told you. She probably had a bad break up and sounds bitter now that you met this guy. Keep dating this guy, give him a chance. If you don't know the circumstances from your friend relationship (maybe she was demanding, needy, etc. ) that caused him to be "lousy. " Give him a chance and tell this new friend to back off.
Wow, talk about one in a million odds! It's like something out of a movie. . He's not off limits, but you need to make sure you don't tell her anything about your dates with him, even if she asks. But, there has to be a reason that she said he is lousy. At one time she too probably thought he was great, but then something happened. I'm sure you must have been curious about that. You might not see it at first, but he might drop his guard at some point, and then you could see it too. Just be careful.
You can't. You have to decide who you can trust and be friends with the most. Unfortunately you have to choose. Although, if she were a friend she would not really make you have to choose. So, Good Luck but I would get to know them both a little better first.
I am almost at a loss with this one. If your friend is that upset by it maybe there's a possibility he really is a lousy guy but if it's just jealousy I say date the guy and just keep your relationship and your friendship separate. I'm not saying hid it by any means but just don't rub the guy in your friends face if she's a true friend she will be happy for you if this turns out to be a worthwhile relationship and if not then the real question is. What's more important Love or Friendship? Good luck with whatever it is you choose to do. Sorry I can't help more.
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