Ok, I know that right off the bat you are going to say tell him. But I don't know if I can. He's my best friend and I don't know what do to! Ok. Again. I like my best friend. I had FINALLY gotten up the guts to tell him, but then he called me today really upset about this shit that is going on at school. So, obviously, I don't want to tell him today! Now, rethinking what I was going to do, I don't know if it is worth it. He is always having girl issues because everyone likes him and I am the only girl he can trust and (in his words) "because you are my best friend and you don't like me so you won't get mad if I tell you my problems and who I like". I don't want to ruin what we have now! So, again, I need some serious advice now. And some serious convincing to tell him. I wish I didn't have the time to rethink it! Thanks!
It's a really hard situation, so I know it's got to be a difficult place to be stuck in. I would say from a guy's perspective, it's flattering to have a girl hint or flirt about things like that.
I think there's another creative way you could go about this. Maybe you don't have to make it so black and white... instead, just try flirting about it a little more.... you know, giggle, do girly stuff like teasing him about it, make a joke about the situation... just put some stuff out there without being overbearing or anything. Just have some fun with the subject, and put a thought about you and him hooking up to get him thinking along those lines. Something like: "If we were together like that, it would never work out! There's no way you could handle me as a girlfriend!" If there is truly any interest on his end, he'll be playful back with you, and then you can just take it to the next step naturally (ex. - He tells you about a girl problem he has, make fun of it a little, laugh about it with him, then say something like as if you were that girl he was talking about instead.... kinda like planting a seed in his mind). If nothing else, this is a real safer, no-risk strategy, and one of two things will happen. If there's no interest, you'll both just go along being friends and things are cool. On the other hand, if there is, you have everything to gain. Just don't profess your undying love right away... make him work to earn your approval of him. Trust me, if I were in that situation, that's exactly how a guy would look at it.
Yeah. Those are great ideas! Yesterday. When he was talking to me about that stuff, he was upset because this girl is trying tot ell everyone that he has changed in a bad way. Although she won't say what this "bad way" is. I just told him that I don't know what she is talking about because you are such a great. There is nothing for anyone to complain about. He responded saying, "I bet you have few things; we've been through thin and thick together. " So, is that sort of like what you mean? - 9 months ago
Answerer
Yeah, that's an example. Just play it cool with him, pretty much demonstrating that nothing bothers you and you can roll with anything. Guys really like girls who can be cool in any situation, just like girls would like the same for a guy who keeps his cool in any situation either. - 9 months ago
Lol..sorta. When I stopped liking him because I realized it wasn't really worth liking him (don't ask), I liked this other guy. Since we are best friends I told him about my new crush and how I had to hook him up with this other girl and I was really mad. While I was telling him that, I was saying how this is the second time this year that I've had to hook they guy that I REALLY like up with another girl. He wanted to know who the other person was so I said it was him. We've gotten closer since - 7 months ago
Well you are in a difficult situation . Hmmm . I'd like to tell you to go for it, but if it doesn't work out, your friendship may never be the same . On the other hand if it does work out, it will be a solid relationship because it will be based upon a friendship . I guess my best advice would be to write down all the pros and cons to each decision and see what you come up with . Also try to slide out of the friend zone a little bit by flirting with him and see how he reacts . Just kind of feel him out before taking any serious action . Good luck !
Thanks . And you seem to know EXACTLY what I mean ! I am starting to flirt with him more . And he is doing it back, so I think I might go for it . In a couple weeks . Lol Thanks Again ! - 9 months ago
Answerer
That's awesome ! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you ! - 9 months ago
N/A
(Age:Under 18)
When: 9 months ago
Who said you couldn't be a best friend and a girl friend? I'm in a relationship with my best friend right now and he still treats me the same, we can still kiss and fight over the remote control, he still shares all his secrets to me and his feelings. Everything that we had before is still intact, we just added the stuff that couples do and now I'm even happier then before. Before I used to worry about our relationship as friends too, but I worried for nothing. So don't worry too much on it. :) good luck whenever you're going to tell him!
Omg.. See? Thats is like EXACTLY what I want to happen. But what happens if he doesn't like me back..or even worse..when we break up? I just don't want there to be any awkwardness to our friendship.. - 9 months ago
OMG I totally know the feeling it depend if he is a good friend and or boyfriend he won't treat you any different from before you told him! I say. GO FOR IT! Once you do let me know how it works out!
I know..doesn't it stink?..lol. I really want to tell him..but it's just the whole trusting issue and I don't know if he would treat me the same if he was like too "scared" to tell me that he doesn't like me because we are such good friends...I guess its just because I have never told a guy that I've liked him before and have never had a boyfriend..pathetic..i know.. but I'm just scared.. Thanks though..and if I do tell him I will let you know..lol!! - 9 months ago
Yeah it really does. I know you are concerned with your friendship, I mean I would be too, but having all those feelings bundled up inside you when he's around must really be hard. I thing you should like maybe try telling him that you had a crush on him when you started to become friends, or something like that. LOL. And not having a boyfriend does not make you sound pathetic, your just waiting for the right one to come. Try and see any signs that maybe what you 2 have is more then friendship. - 9 months ago
Question Asker
I want to SOOO bad!. Lol. I think I am. Hopefully. If I can get the guts again. I don't know. I think I'm just too scared it won't work out. And if it doesn't I wouldn't even really be able to at least not see him for a while. We live in the same neighborhood. And have tow classes together! AHH! SO. I just don't know. - 9 months ago
Ya it really does. You know I think maybe you should like admit that you kinda liked him a little when you guy's just started to be friends. That would be the first step. If your not comfortable just say it as a joke when he's telling you about all the other crazy girls that are in love with him, and make it playful to see what he says. And your so not pathetic, I've never told a guy I like him until he tells me, don't be scared he likes you for a reason, it's your job to find out why? LOL : ) - 9 months ago
You really seem to have a BIG thing for him, LOL. But in a good way. I's a scary situation and truthfully if I had to deal with that I would be totally freaked out. You had the gut's before right? So just try to get them back, remember to tall him that even if he doesn't feel the same, which I dout, things between you 2 will never change. I really thing you shood go for it, and unlike the other girls you have something special that bonds you 2 together.
Wish you the best : ) - 9 months ago
Question Asker
Ok, so listen to this! I was talking to him last night and I guess I sounded upset, so he asked what was wrong. I told that I'm just kind of upset because I know the person I like (meaning him) would never like me. He said he doesn't know what I'm so worried about, he said any decent guy would see how special I am and want to go out with me. Omg, so what does that mean? I should have told him then that I like him, but no, I had to be the wimp! I am so mad though! Why do I get so nervous!?!?!?! - 9 months ago
Ok, well you so get that he cares about you deeply to say that but now the hard part is going to tell him that the guy is him. I think you should really tell him next time when you guys are getting into the deep convo's lol, but I think that you should tell him face to face LOL. And it natural to get nervous, that means that you really have feelings for him. I's so cut I wish I had a guy like that. And your not a wimp your just a little scared of what might be! : )
On that last comment you made, I would say that it just puts you in a kind of "sympathy routine", because all that's communicating is saying you don't feel worthy of the guys' attention. Don't devalue yourself! That's like shooting yourself in the foot before you ever get started. Yeah, you have to take a jump in the deep end by putting yourself out there, but you'll be very glad you did. Not to mention, you actually get a chance to see if you will have who and what you want! - 9 months ago
Ok, so you and this guy are like best friends, right? I think the first thing you should do is decide whether or not you are willing to take the chance to be more then friends. He comes to you for advise so that's a good sign that he likes you enough to trust you with his secrets and that's good. I think you have to tell him in a way that at first gets him thinking about how you two would be like as a couple, like ask him something like 'do you think I would ever do the things these girls do to you if we were together? ' and stuff like that! Or if you've known him for a long time admit to him that you had a crush on him when you were little too, something that opens the conversation up for open thinking in his mind.
Sorry, that's all I have for u, it's a complicated decision to make, and you really have to be willing to take the risk!
Thanks.. Your idea about when I was little and I had a crush on him is a VERY good one indeed..i never thought of that...BUT we have only really been friends since this year..ya..so there goes that idea. I want to tell him..I really do..but he goes for the prettier girls..I am not very pretty at all..being honest here..I have blonde hair (real) glasses, am 5'8" and weigh like 170 lbs..so I am definitely not skinny, but I dress in cloths that make my features work for me. SO I don't really know - 9 months ago
Answerer
Don't be so discouraged about yourself, it takes a lot for a guy to really open up to a girl, he's done that with you. I think you should open up about yourself a little more and lead him on a little in the direction that your feelings are going. He saw something special in you that made him want to be your best friend and I always like to believe that the best love is between friends. You and this guy seem right. Go for it, take the risk rather then never finding out the truth?
I say give him time to open his eyes for himself sooner or later he is gonna realize your the only real girl that's has ever been there for him I know it might be hard to stand the feelings you got for him and not being able to tell him but since your the only one person he trust don't jump in so quick your in the greatest position right now that anyone other girl would love to be in give him time if you don't want to wait you know what to do good luck.
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(Age:Under 18)
When: 9 months ago
asked 5 days ago
